


Don't Wait

by firegrilled



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amputee!Eren, Angry Boyfriends, Angst, Blow Jobs, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Humor, M/M, Sex Toys, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:21:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 48,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4326705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firegrilled/pseuds/firegrilled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who the hell would be stupid enough to visit Jean Kirschtein at 2am during a thunderstorm? Eren Jaeger, of course.</p><p>While his old rival could be stubborn at times, something is wrong for him to come to Jean of all people. Once Eren begins to open up about things, Jean begins to understand where shit hit the fan for his friend and helps him as best he can. By trading insults and offering tough love.</p><p>Be prepared for a lot of dumb humor and angry boyfriends being nerds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Wait

**Author's Note:**

> _The darkness can be such a lonely place on your own_  
>  I'll be your compass so you'll never feel alone
> 
>  
> 
> _Don't wait for the world to be ready_  
>  Who says you can't explore
> 
>  
> 
> -Don't Wait by Joey Graceffa

_The fuck is he doing here?_

Lightning cracked across the dark sky, briefly illuminating the shifty neighborhood Jean called home. Dilapidated buildings eroding from time, some with windows covered by planks and plywood, lined the street as far as the eye could see, the apartment complex he resided in being no different. The poor and destitute normally wandered around the block, some sleeping in the street, but tonight they found shelter from the massive storm battering the area. Any sane person was off the streets, especially at this time of day.

Of course Eren Jaeger never really lived up to that label in Jean’s eyes.

Standing in the torrential downpour was Jean’s one time nemesis. Chestnut hair was stuck to his forehead thanks to the adhesive powers of the storm, almost covering his normally fierce and lively turquoise eyes. Whatever jacket and clothes he had brought were long ago soaked, becoming translucent in the yellow street light. Soaking up all nearby water was the duffel bag that Jean recognized from their seventh grade Home Economics class. It was just as drenched as Eren was.

Jean had every right to slam the door in Jaeger’s face for waking him at 2 in the morning without so much notice as a phone call; however he was not blind to the obvious. The boy he knew that was full of vim and vigor was not the hollow person dawdling awkwardly on the steps of his building. He unlocked the squeaky door, catching a rather skittish Eren off guard. The sky lit up once more and in that brief flash Jean could have sworn he saw water welling around his frenemy’s eyes. It had to be his imagination or just rain water pooling around his eyes, right?

“I’m sorry for coming-” Eren started to apologize, before being cut off by a curt and slightly annoyed voice.

“Get in here before you catch a cold, idiot,” Jean interrupted.

Eren nodded and grabbed his bag, his feet sloshing around as he entered the building with his head held down. This definitely was not the kid Jean was used to sparring, sometimes verbally but mostly physically.

\---

“Everyone, today I have exciting news. We have two new students!” The overly enthusiastic teacher announced to the classroom full of first graders.

The commotion of the little children paused at the one piece of news that seemed to trump all other concerns of the kids. Some put down their worn out crayons while others ceased gossiping about cooties to look for the new faces and potentially new friends.

“Please welcome Eren and Mikasa!” Mrs. Ral stepped aside to reveal two small children, a boy and a girl. Jean frowned a little bit, his pudgy cheeks puffing out a little bit. The boy had short brown hair and a rather unpleasant look, while the girl had long black hair but a stoic look. “They just moved here from Shiganshina after the tornado swept through so please be nice and make friends.”

The little boy tugged on the teacher’s sleeve and whispered something to her. 

Jean glanced at the empty next to him and realized his greatest fear was about to come true. The new quarter just started and he got the coveted seat with no neighbor so he didn’t have to talk to the others. He could put his stuff on the other desk and keep his clean, but that was about to end.

“Oh, right,” Mrs. Ral spoke up, surprise in her voice. “Mikasa you can sit by Annie over there and Eren you can sit next to Jean.”

While not excited by the thought of sharing a desk, but if it was with that cute girl Jean was not going to complain. He smiled as the teacher lead the new students towards his direction. His smile immediately fell to a scowl, a position it would occupy the rest of the school year, when the boy sat next to him.

The brunet boy gave Jean a toothy smile as he sat by him, ignoring the mess of Jean’s stuff on his desk. “Hi, I’m Eren!”

“But that’s a girl’s name,” Jean replied.

All traces of friendliness fell from Eren’s demeanor. Jean had unknowingly hit a nerve for the boy.

“I’m not a girl! It’s a boy’s name!” Eren declared as he pushed Jean’s stuff off towards his desk. 

“Whatever.”

Eren peered over at the name tag on Jean’s desk and squinted his eyes as he tried to read it. “Gene? Like pants?”

“It’s Jean!” Eren successfully found a sore spot his counterpart. Jean defended himself further by saying, “And it’s a _boy’s name_.”

Completely unhappy with the cold greeting he got in exchange for his politeness, Eren decided to return the favor and pushed Jean’s pencil box off the table. The loud crash got everyone’s attention, but only Eren was able to enjoy the look of pure horror on Jean’s face as he watched it fall. His face twisted into a look of pure rage and disgust when he noticed his favorite crayons lying broken on the floor. It was then everyone’s attention went from the mess on the floor to the two kids suddenly attacking each other.

And that was how their first meeting also lead to their first fight.

\---

The climb to Jean’s apartment was long and silent, with Eren’s squishy shoes providing the only ambient noise. The low howl of the wind cutting through the brick and wood of the entryway faded into the background as the boys climbed the five floors to get to Jean’s ratty home. If Eren had pulled this shit on a school night he might have been more upset, but Jean at least had Saturday to look forward to sleeping in. Well it was technically Saturday now but it was not too late to recover some sleep without school lingering around the corner to steal his glorious resting time.

He turned the knob to his apartment, having not bothered to lock it when he left to find out who had the balls to buzz him at such an early hour. It was not like anyone was going to attempt to steal his shit during a thunderstorm at the ass crack of dawn, even if he had absolutely nothing of value to have taken. If someone wanted to take his second hand couch or tube TV he stole from a nearby dumpster, more power to them.

He took a few steps into the room until Eren came in behind him like a dog with its tail in between its legs. Before Eren could even get off the off-color welcome mat, Jean called out to him. “Stay.”

“What?” Eren froze and dropped his bag, landing with a solid splat on the 90’s style tiling.

“Wait here a minute.”

Nodding at the order, Eren remained in place and kicked his drenched converse shoes into the welcome mat. It was then he noticed that it simply read _Go Away_. A slight smile speared on his face until a towel beamed him in the head. “The hell, Kirschtein?!”

“You’re soaked, dry off before you get a cold.” Jean narrowed his eyes at his unexpected guest. Eren took a minute to process the information before starting to dry his hair, it suddenly exploding out into the familiar mess Jean knew from school.

“Thanks,” Eren muttered lowly, unsure if his host could hear him.

“Just don’t soak my carpet, asshole.”

Eren snorted at the insult, relaxing a bit at the familiar insult. As he gradually dried himself off, Jean retreated to his room to fetch something. When he returned Eren was standing awkwardly with the towel, unsure what to do with it. Jean laid the clothes out on his kitchen counter.

“Wear these,” Jean ordered. Eren nodded again, but did not move. He stared at the clothes, then at Jean, and then back to the clothes. It took a minute but Jean put together what he was getting at and quickly left the room to give Eren some privacy.

\---

“My blue-eyes white dragon attacks your life points directly!” Eren smugly grinned, leaving Jean sweating at his misfortune.

Yu-gi-oh was the game he was king at, or king of games as his favorite protagonist called it. Not only was he the champion of the fifth grade, he was still undefeated. Armin knew how to beat him but did not have the luck or the cards for it, nor did Marco. Jean managed to repeatedly beat Eren Jaeger’s face into the ground over the course of the year, and he had no intention of letting his bitter rival crush him two weeks before summer break. He was almost there.

Except now his luck had run its course. He was hanging on by the skin of his teeth as Jaeger managed to somehow rally his cards and decimate any monsters Jean had left. He knew if he could land one attack on his enemy the game would be his, but he only a slim chance of being able to do that with his deck.

He growled at Marco, who was keeping track of everyone’s life points, as if that would prevent him from lowering Jean’s. Marco simply shrugged at Jean’s reaction and waited for him to start his turn. 

“Your move, buttmuncher.” Eren taunted, enjoying getting a rise out of his rival.

“I’m still gonna win, poop for brains.” Jean retorted, feigning confidence as he drew a card.

Much to his dismay it was a weak monster that could not help him in his current situation at all. His brief look of fear was overshadowed by shouts coming from the playground.

“Ymir just punched Reiner! They’re going at it!” a nearby student called out.

All the boys around the stone table quickly looked over, but Jean saw an opportunity. As everyone focused on the ruckus by the slide, he stealthily drew two more cards. To his luck he drew a monster card that would let him attack Eren directly and win the game.

“I play Baby Tiragon, who can attack you directly. I win!” Jean declared, capturing everyone’s attention.

Not believing his luck, Eren snapped the card from Jean’s hand and read the effect. He threw his head back and groaned out loud, victory was so close. Jean was still the king of games and the king of the elementary school playground. Until his best friend doused the moment.

“No you didn’t.” Marco frowned, his freckles dipping into the wrinkles around his mouth.

“What do you mean? It can attack me directly,” Eren seemed puzzled by the accusation. Jean meanwhile was shooting his friend daggers from his eyes.

“He drew more cards when we weren’t looking. He cheated.”

The guys around the table promptly faced Jean, giving a plethora of looks ranging from confused to disbelief. While Jean could fake confidence, he was a terrible liar. Eren’s scrutinizing look made him flush red and stare at his cards.

“Oh my God you cheater!” Eren shouted.

“Marco, why’d you rat me out?” Jean asked.

Before any response could be given, Eren leapt across the table and tackled Jean to the blazing blacktop. They tumbled through on the heated concrete until they reached a stop, with Eren straddling Jean. He quickly began punching Jean all over his torso, who was unable to defend himself. Normally he could match Eren blow for blow, but his arms were pinned at his sides by Eren’s knees.

“I lost! I lost!” Jean admitted, hoping it would temper Eren’s infamous rage, but it only served to infuriate Jaeger further. He scored a direct hit on Jean’s eye and soon the cheater was tearing up.

Eren paused his barrage when he noticed the water. His angry frown twisted into a grin when he figured out what was going on. “Are— are you crying?”

“Shut up, fartknocker!”

He then followed up by sending his knee into Eren’s crotch. Below the belt hits were always unfair and supposed to be avoided, but Jean was willing to make an exception for that moment.

And Jean swore he’d look forward to the day he’d see Jaeger cry, revenge was sweet after all.

\---

After waiting a few minutes for his guest to become presentable, Jean returned to the living room to find Eren pulling his old track shirt over his head. He discarded it without a second thought, tossing it onto the pile of soaking wet stuff on the tile floor. He quickly pulled on Jean’s tattered Boy Scout shirt. Jean took a moment to admire Eren’s chest, still impressed he managed to keep a six pack after quitting track.

He also noticed Eren was shivering so he walked to the kitchen and pulled out two mugs he _borrowed_ from his father. While Eren struggled to get the shirt on, cursing softly as he somehow stuck his head in the arm hole, Jean filled the cups with water and tossed them in the microwave. Hitting the timer for a minute, he returned his attention to the kid struggling in the living room.

“For the love of God, Jaeger,” he mumbled. Rather than let the poor kid struggle, he forced the shirt down past Eren’s head. A few more curses from Eren got his mood happy again.

“Thanks.” 

Eren rubbed his mouth and caught Jean’s observant gaze. He missed it in the storm and if he wasn’t that close he might’ve missed the fact Eren was sporting a split lip and some fresh bruises on his left cheek. Whether on purpose or unconsciously, Jean gingerly touched Eren’s damaged cheek with his knuckles. Eren recoiled immediately and startled Jean back to reality. The beeping of the microwave gave him the much needed excuse to allow Eren some space. 

\---

Where Jean was king of elementary school and popular enough to keep his ego inflated, middle school crushed that idea slowly and painfully.

Puberty hit him in the face and he skyrocketed past some of his friends to become tall, outgrowing the remainder of his baby fat and becoming very lanky. The downside to his miraculous growth came in the form of pimples that clustered around his cheeks like pepperoni on pizza, ironically his favorite food and now an unpleasant nickname from his classmates. Only Marco was kind enough to spare him from that humiliation.

Another benefit from his genetics was his talent for running. Initially he opposed any thought of sports, but he had a knack for sprinting and hurdles, enough so that some encouragement from Coach Zacharius was all it took to try out for the team. And he _excelled_ in his events.

Only for one person to give him a run for his money, literally.

“You’re slowing down, dickhead!” Eren called back, a few strides ahead of Jean.

“Screw you,” Jean mumbled under his breath. Just like the last track meet, Eren passed Jean.

For the entirety of middle school Jean just relied on his talent to win races and it always worked. Jaeger joined the track team the same year as him, but was much slower. During practice he would always push himself, unlike his rival, yet he never got close to passing Jean. Between seventh and eighth grade Jean heard he went to some sort of running camp, not that it bothered him. He always was going to be faster than Jaeger, or so he thought. Halfway through the track season the kid managed to not only catch up to him, but beat him. And he never looked back, except to tease Jean.

Waiting for the moment no one except Eren was looking, Jean flipped his eternal rival off before stomping towards the bleachers to find his water bottle. He did not even have to approach the student section before someone was jogging towards him in a track suit. Marco strolled up with his water bottle.

“I think you almost got him that time,” Marco attempted to cheer up his friend, instead only souring his mood further.

Jean swiped the bottle ungratefully from his friend, hastily drinking the water. “Almost isn’t good enough.”

“Well train harder and you’ll beat him!”

Rather than wait for a reply, Marco jogged towards the track for the next event. Jean noticed the mile runners were warming up and knew it meant Marco was up next. Despite being sour from his loss, Jean’s mood brightened a little bit as he watched his friend run off. 

He knew it wasn’t normal but Marco was starting to feel like something more than a friend to the pizza faced kid. Mikasa had been his crush ever since fourth grade and that was not changing, but now his best friend was starting to share some of the attention he reserved for her and her alone.

But that was a problem he would deal with that _after_ he crushed Eren Jaeger in the 400m sprint.

\---

Jean blew on his cup of hot chocolate in a vain attempt to cool it down. It would be a few minutes before it would be drinking temperature for him; however Eren was already sipping at the edges of his cup. He already mentioned thank you an innumerable amount of times for the warm liquid, clutching it close to his chest like his life depended on it.

Eren’s focus was somewhere in the room that Jean could not find, more than likely a different astral plane that only Jaeger’s thoughts existed on. It was candid moments like that Jean was unused to around anyone, let alone Eren. His frenemy’s face was lost somewhere between sadness and confusion, not containing any of the passion and life he was known for. Something had cooled Eren’s fire. His thoughts were only further confirmed by his behavior.

The futon was not the biggest in the world but that did not stop Eren from trying to make himself as tiny as possible in the corner. He curled his legs underneath him. His hands still shook, despite the warmth the cup was surely providing him. However his most telling sign was his silence. Eren had a mouth that gave a sailor stiff competition for who could be the most vulgar, yet now he seemed to have taken a vow of silence.

Unable to bear quiet and tense atmosphere, Jean placed his cup on the chipped coffee table and got to his feet. That snapped Eren out of whatever planet his thoughts inhabited. Jean walked over to the pile of soaking wet clothes, carelessly tossing it all onto the drenched duffel bag.

“What’re doing?” Eren questioned from the futon.

“Drying your shit. I don’t have enough clothes to keep your ass covered until Monday.”

“I can do that!”

“I know you can, but I’m doing it.” Jean acknowledged, but rejected the idea of his guest doing anything more.

Eren stopped in his tracks and hesitated a few moments, until Jean nodded, before slowly sitting back down. “Thanks, I guess.”

“No problem. How is your leg?”

“Is that why—“ Eren’s face scrunched with anger at the thought he was being pitied.

“No, jackass.” Jean rolled his eyes. “I’m just wondering if it’s ok after walking in the rain for so long.”

Eren nodded, not giving any vocal response. Assuming that was the best response he’d get, Jean exited his apartment and prepared to take the five flights back to the ground floor so he could put his friend’s clothes in the ancient dryer. Lord knows getting that beast to work was going to be another chore.

\---

Life wasn’t fair.

So much had happened in one year, so much that Jean wish could be taken back. Sure he had lost his pimples and continued to grow, but that did not matter to him anymore. Ask any of the students in the new freshman class at Trost High School and they would say something was different about the way Jean Kirschtein carried himself. Gone was the kid who excelled at Yu-gi-oh, track, and walked around with a sense of pride that was almost certainly unfounded, and instead he was a shell of his former self.

Where he once held his head high, he now hunched over and glared at invisible things on the ground. No longer did he have normal brown hair, rather he had a dark undercut with dyed blond hair on the top that screamed for attention. He craved attention but also ran from it. His clothes edged much closer to apparel from Hot Topic: skinnier jeans, black hoodies, band shirts. This was no longer the kid who thrived on running and trying to impress those around him. Now he was just moody.

Moody and lost.

He lost his mother. He lost his best friend. He lost all that he cared about.

Cancer was such a shitty disease, and he knew it. He just never thought he’d ever have to _experience_ it. While he did not personally have it, his mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, given only a few months to live. Those precious months that should’ve been spent happy and living life to the fullest were instead spent in chemo and whittling away under the effects of radiation. No one except his family knew about it.

As his mother withered away in bed, Jean mustered the strength to tell her what he considered his darkest secret. For her and her alone. After many long breaths and tears, it took his mom slowly reaching her hand out to give him the confidence to confide in her that he’d been dating his best friend for a few months. When he expected rejection, he only received unconditional love from his mom.

“I still love you, Jeanbo. Make yourself happy, and I’ll be happy,” were her last words before she fell back into a morphine induced sleep.

What should have been relief became anxiety when Jean turned to find his father in the doorway, having heard it all. Shock was clearly written on his face.

The following month was stressful as his mother deteriorated more and more before finally passing. Her funeral was simple and elegant as she had planned, but even that did not stop Jean from weeping for a while. Still, his classmates only knew his mom passed and nothing more. They didn’t know his father turned to liquor and beer to recover. They didn’t know his dad called Marco’s parents in a drunken stupor and outed their son to them. They didn’t know Marco moved halfway through the school year because his overly conservative parents wanted him out of Jean’s influence. They didn’t know Jean left his house in a fit of anger and never looked back.

Not that his dad seemed to care.

Jean changed his hair, his temperament, how he carried himself, and found a place. He was going to make himself happy so he could make his mom happy.

What began as a rumor that steadily trickled around the grade became gossip, until it grew to the point Jean heard his name whispered in hushed tones on other student’s lips. He had a vague idea what it was thanks to Connie’s loud mouth, but he refused to confirm or deny his sexuality to his classmates. Whatever his orientation was his business and his business alone as far as he was concerned, but some of his classmates begged to differ during lunch.

“You’re a fag, Kirschtein?” Marcel’s voice boomed in the already loud cafeteria. His question only served to draw the attention of nearby people. Jean had made sure to stay in the corner and out of sight, but Marcel and his two best buddies, Reiner and Bertholdt, managed to find him anyways.

“What’s it to you?” Jean replied, not making eye contact with either of the three freshmen football players. The players exchanged some glances before confronting him again.

“Sad your _boyfriend_ moved away?”

Jean’s eyes quickly glared at Marcel’s insinuation. “Marco wasn’t my boyfriend, dumbass.”

“Is that why you’re crying like a bitch? Like you did when Eren beat you up after Yu-gi-oh?”

And there was a raw nerve that Jean had never got over. Taking the remainder of his spaghetti, Jean tossed the plate a completely shocked Marcel, covering his chest in Bolognese sauce. “Whoops.”

“You’re dead, Kirschtein.” Marcel briefly warned before he attempted to leap at Jean. To his complete surprise, Marcel’s two friends held him back. They kept muttering things like he’s not worth it or calm down.

At school Jean’s only outlet seemed to be a random stranger that sat at his desk in English class a few periods after him. What began as a few dick drawings that got increasingly elaborate turned into sentences, that turned into conversations. It lasted a few months until freshman year gave out. He regretted not finding out who his mysterious penpal was since they actually provided great advice and had a good sense of humor. Jean confided his fears and his situation to this stranger, and the person actually seemed to give a shit and offer decent opinions or just support when necessary.

By some fortune, at the start of sophomore year he began the process of drawing dicks during his classes and on the second day of school he received a message he was not expecting.

_If you’re still here this is probably fate or some shit. Meet me at lunch by the window?_

For the first time in months Jean had something to look forward to so he quickly bought lunch and sprinted to the window by the seat in his math class. To his complete and utter dismay he found Eren lingering by the window munching on a sandwich. His bitter enemy stopped what he was doing and stared at him. “Can I help you, asshat?”

“I’m meeting someone, so no you can’t, doushenozzle.” Jean sneered.

“What a coincidence, me too.”

Eren’s smirk fell as both he and Jean realized something.

 _”Not you!”_ They exclaimed simultaneously.

\---

A few good kicks got the dryer going and by sunrise Eren’s stuff would at least be wearable. Jean’s foot seemed to have the magic touch when it came to the finicky machine.

In his apartment he found Eren still staring off into space, tearstains on his cheeks. What had happened to the firecracker that consistently found ways to get under Jean’s skin?

His hot chocolate had cooled considerably since he left it on the less than reliable coffee table, so Jean stole sips as he sat down next to Eren. The movement drew Eren back from the corners of his mind and into Jean’s ratty apartment. Jean watched as Eren’s eyes bounced around the corners of the cramped room until finally settling on his cup.

“Want more?” Jean inquired gently, as if walking on egg shells.

“No. Thanks, though.”

“What happened? You haven’t insulted me all night.” Jean jumped straight to the point, never one to be able to be graceful in social matters. It was part of the reason he had kept to himself until the last few months. His tendency to dance around subjects never lasted long.

His guest immediately shrunk further into himself, as if trying to disappear into the crack of the stained futon. This was an unexpected reaction. Eren’s fingers played with one of the many loose threads at the base of Jean’s old shirt, while his gaze seemed hellbent on being anywhere away from Jean’s face. 

What would Marco do in this situation? Jean had the grace of a bull in a china shop when it came to sensitive issues, but his old friend was a master of it. He was a big reason Jean was able to piece himself back together as rapidly as he had after his mom’s bout with cancer. Remembering a particularly hard night, Marco had pulled him into a hug and kissed away his problems. Except Marco was his boyfriend and Jaeger was… what exactly? Friend? Enemy? No they hadn’t beat each other senseless since their first year of high school. They tolerated each other.

Settling on a compromise, Jean clapped a hand on Eren’s shoulder, nearly scarring him out of his skin. Probably not the smartest idea considering the bruises on his cheek. Still, Jean remained steadfast and shot Eren the calmest look he could maintain. Eren finally made eye contact, momentarily wavering. He was expecting to find anger, pity, frustration, or something but all he found was concern. Jean Kirschtein was actually capable of concern to Eren’s astonishment.

“What was Marco to you? And don’t lie.”

Well that was not the answer Jean was expecting.

Despite Marcel’s best attempts for the last two years, Jean never admitted what his orientation was or what Marco had been. As far as the grade knew he maybe liked guys, although his crush on Mikasa was far from a secret. No one knew how to contact his old freckled friend so they could never verify the rumors that swirled since freshman year as well. For three years Jean had kept his personal life close to himself, even from his new friends, but right now that didn’t seem to matter.

“We were best friends… and we sometimes kissed.”

“So you’re gay?” Eren immediately followed up, regaining some his lost fire. 

_Why the hell does he care about that?_

“No.”

Now Eren just seemed to be confused. “But you guys kissed.”

“Yeah. And I still really like your sister. There are more things than gay or straight.” Jean clarified.

Eren’s eyes widened as the thought hit him and it looked like a toddler reading his first words. A smile graced his lips, pulling at the scab from earlier. Jean could not figure out why this information seemed to bring the kid joy. One would think that after having a truce for a year and a half he’d understand the enigma that was Eren Jaeger.

Nope.

Whatever peace that bit of information brought Eren seemed to help the kid find himself again. He didn’t look like a lost puppy anymore, just tired.

“I’m here because… because I—” he tried to explain as emotions choked him up. Jean made a move to comfort Eren again, but his hands were wrenched away as Eren shuddered.

“I told my dad that I’m gay.”

_Oh._

\---

Surprises fell one after another during sophomore year of high school. The beginning was weird as hell when Jean and Eren learned they had been speaking with each other through dick drawings and small comments on a desk, and they were both forced to admit maybe the other wasn’t a complete bag of dicks like they both assumed. The grade also noticed a change in their reaction when they both suddenly stopped fighting each other at every turn. Everyone was shocked when they saw the two bitter rivals actually cracking jokes with each other instead of at each other.

Even with his antisocial tendencies, Jean was quietly integrated into Eren’s group of buddies. The perks included finally being able to approach Mikasa without the prerequisite of Eren jumping his back in the middle of a conversation. He also finally got to talk with Armin without teasing the kid for his unfortunate choice in haircuts. Jean shocked everyone when the two actually had in depth philosophical conversations about the world around them, and they learned Kirschtein was sharper than he let on and observed everyone around him with equal disdain. The biggest surprise was that Jean was more idealistic about it then Armin, who seemed convince nothing would get done without getting one’s hands dirty. The blond was not as innocent as his façade lead Jean to believe.

His new friends only saw Jean briefly though as he still kept a distance from everyone, preferring to be a loner and not wanting to get especially close to anyone. Marco was the only one he trusted that much and it only got him pain when he left. He knew after high school he would not see these kids again and did not want to experience that pain all over again.

Privacy was the one thing Jean valued above all else, and the grade knew it. He kept his interests and opinions close to himself, scowling at anyone who attempted to ask him such questions. Part of the reason was he still didn’t know what he wanted to do himself, the other was it was no one’s damn business who he liked or if he thought Eren Jaeger had been granted great looks from puberty. Jean was not the only blessed by genetics.

Eren had grown not quite as tall as Jean, but his new height boost only helped him accelerate at track. His skin darkened during the summer and only helped highlight his fierce turquoise eyes. The mess of dark brown hair that used to be short grew out with Eren. In short, he’d even made Jean aware of his suddenly handsome looks, not that he’d _ever_ admit that to Eren’s face.

Eren knew about his looks though, and combined with his social charm, the kid was quick to expand his friend group and even dated a few girls. His relationships followed the fire of his personality: strong, passionate (at least from the rumors Jean heard), but hot to the touch and all the girls ended being burned and scorned the kid. His reputation preceded him by the second half of the year.

Track offered an outlet from the stress of school. After losing consistently to his onetime rival, Jean finally began to practice and quickly improve to Eren’s level. Most races they sprinted neck and neck, much to Coach Leonhardt’s joy, yet Eren always edged him out at the finish line with one last burst of energy. They proved to be a formidable team for Trost during the relay races, and after the 400m relay where Jean was the last one to run, He managed to snag first for the school and he collapsed at the finish line.

Waiting for him with a bottle of ice cold water was Eren, bearing the biggest grin on his face. “Already on your knees, Kirschtein?”

“Shut up, dickweed,” Jean replied with an equally wide grin. He took the bottle from Eren and started chugging it to quench his parched throat. His body was screaming for the sustenance.

“Congrats on winning, Jean. You’re done for today. I’ll see you at practice on Monday!” Their coach shouted.

Jean nodded as Eren helped him to his feet, but his knees wobbled under the new strain and he crashed back to the ground. Cursing under his breath, Jean opted to remain until he got some strength back.

“Well when you’re done being on your knees I’ll be by the fountain with Armin if you want to join us.” Eren offered.

Jean watched him finish his water before walking to find his blond buddy. Jean snorted and reminded himself to make fun of Eren whenever he saw the kid on his knees next time. Or he could find a way to humiliate him while doing that. All for good fun of course.

The rest of the school year had different plans though. They only had three months left until summer when shit hit the fan, again. This time Jean was not directly impacted by hit, but the school and his friend group felt the shockwave when it the principal announced the news to the grade in a surprise Monday morning meeting.

Mr. Ackerman and his normally stoic visage bore a look of sorrow and solace as he explained what happened to the student body.

“This past weekend one of our students, Eren Jaeger, was involved in a serious car crash. The other driver was under the influence and ran a red light. He hit Eren’s car. Eren’s mother was in the passenger seat and she… she didn’t make it. The other driver died immediately on impact. Right now Eren is in critical condition and likely will not be returning for the remainder of the year. We’ll…”

Jean tuned out the rest of the speech as his heart sank. He was wondering why Mikasa and Armin were not at school and now he knew why. His hands dug into the polished wooden armrests as his eyes slowly widened. Why? Why did this shit need to happen? Eren was supposed to there and bitching about school with Jean like normal students, not in the hospital fighting for his life. When pictures of the accident began popping up in the news, and Jean managed to see a picture of Eren’s mangled car, he almost threw up at the thought that his friend was inside that misshapen pile of metal.

Eventually Mikasa and Armin returned, and immediately were barraged by questions. If Jean felt like shit for his old rival, he couldn’t begin to imagine for the two kids that were essentially his double shadows. He managed to lead them away from the crowds and scowled at anyone who tried to follow. He tried to keep things as normal as possible for the two, and they eventually explained what they knew to him on their own terms.

Eren was learning to drive, and now he was recovering. In the mangled mess he lost not only his mother, but his left leg was pinned for too long and has to be partially amputated. That sick thought cost Jean his appetite for the day.

\---

“Uh…” Jean had no idea how to respond to that new piece of information. Eren Jaeger, pain in the ass extraordinaire, was gay. Huh.

If Jean was unable to think of a proper reaction, then Eren had to be having a hard time watching him process that information. “Jean? Say something. Yo, dickwaffle!”

“I heard you, jeez.” Jean quickly scowled, returning to his normal grumpy self. “Congratulations?”

The look of disbelief on Eren’s face told a thousand words that Jean could read, the one word he couldn’t find was ‘expected’. That was probably not the reaction Eren was expecting to hear from Jean. He was probably prepared to get kicked out, shouted at, or something, worse. Congratulations were not on that shortlist.

And the ridiculousness of the idea swelled in Eren’s stomach before erupting as laughter. Genuine laughter echoed around the shitty apartment and its infectious ability caught Jean by complete surprise and soon he joined in. Both kids were laughing their asses off for a good few minutes, maybe waking Jean’s elderly and poor neighbors but in that moment they didn’t care. Hopefully his army veteran and landlord next door wouldn’t kill him in the morning. As far as they were concerned they were happy to exist in that space by themselves just laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

When the laughter quickly petered out, Eren found himself closer to Jean and both were almost doubled over on the futon.

“Congratulations? I get my ass beat, walk through a storm, and drip all over your apartment, and you tell me congratulations?” Eren heaved with laughter.

That information ceased Jean’s laughter and confirmed his lingering fears.

“You’re dad hit you?”

Eren’s good mood soured as quickly as it had arrived, and he only nodded. “I told him when he was drinking.”

“Why would you tell him when he was drinking?!” Jean was dumbfounded at the idea, but it sounded so typically Eren.

“I just had to tell him. I was tired of hiding it from him. And he just snapped.”

“What happened?”

Eren returned to pulling on the loose thread on his shirt, occasionally biting at his lips. A few moments of silence passed before he opened his mouth again. “Things were thrown. Insults were said. He might’ve got a lucky hit on my face. After that I just ran to my room and packed my stuff. I didn’t know where to go so I just stormed out of the house into the… storm.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Yeah. Good riddance.” Eren frowned, looking positively defeated for the first time in his life.

Jean had hurled insult after insult, punch after punch, mostly both at the same time, but he never managed to ever get Eren to admit defeat. Never. This just looked sad. Not even his childhood self would find any satisfaction at bringing this kind of pain on anyone.

Eren leaned forward to prop his elbows on his knees, pressing his eyes into his palms as he recalled the memory, his voice higher than usual. “I shouldn’t have told him. I should’ve waited. Waited until college or something.”

“Fuck that noise,” Jean disagreed, scowling at the darkness by the door of the apartment. “Don’t wait. Since when do you wait for anything?”

“If I waited—”

“He would’ve acted the same. You shouldn’t have to hide yourself from your _dad_ of all people.”

“But it’s my dad. He’s all I got left…”

An exasperated breath escaped Eren’s mouth, giving him the strength to pull his head up and to face his old enemy. Jean’s scowl relaxed into a slight frown. He rubbed the back of his head as if trying to shake some thoughts loose. “That’s wrong. You have Mikasa and Armin still. Their support is all you need to be happy. I assume they already know about you?”

Eren nodded before he frowned further. “What about you?”

“What _about_ me?”

“Do I have your support?” The look of fear in Eren’s eyes caught Jean off guard. He thought this conversation would prove that.

“’Course you do, dumbass.”

That news brought a smile to Eren’s bruised face, but a yawn escaped Eren’s mouth, forcing the newfound happiness away. Jean quickly recalled the time as he glanced at his watch, barely lit in the dim yellow light.

“We can talk more in the morning, I’m tired and you’re tired.” Jean decided to not pursue this conversation any further until Eren was rested and prepared to deal with the emotional damage again.

“Just bring me a blanket and I’ll crash here.”

“Hell no.” Jean snapped, stunning Eren once again. “You’re still cold and my bed is big enough for two people. Come on.”

Reluctantly, Eren peeled himself from the couch and followed Jean back to his room. Clothes and old takeout boxes were scattered across the floor of the lightly furnished room. Completing the rest of Jean’s worldly belongings was a nightstand that looked like it was ready to fall over at any moment, and a surprisingly nice full sized bed. The variety of blankets reminded Eren of his grandparents quilts if anything. Eren guessed Jean didn’t skimp out on the one thing that seemed to matter to him: sleep. Even with the mess, Eren navigated the mine field and discarded his pants while Jean watched from the doorway.

“Do you need anything for your leg?”

“Nah,” Eren spoke as he dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand.

Jean watched with rapt attention as Eren removed his prosthetic leg and ultimately the bandages around the stump. He had seen the leg many times, but never saw Eren without it. His guest was acutely aware of what felt like a vulture watching prey.

“I know, I know. It’s ugly and weird.” Eren frowned as he quickly pulled himself under the pile of blankets that Jean called his covers.

Jean shook his head as he joined his friend under the covers. Eren rolled over to face away from Jean, trying to not make things awkward on the full-sized bed. “I’d never think it’s ugly and weird. We both know you’re neither of those.”

Eren began to shudder and Jean placed a hand on his shoulder once more, trying to provide extra reassurance. His friend rolled over and Jean could see the silent tears streaming down Eren’s face. He had seen Eren’s rage tears, his tears of relief, but these were new. Were they sad? His fifth grade self also probably wanted to see this pathetic sight, but it definitely did not bring sweet revenge he promised himself.

Eren curled into a ball towards Jean, pulling his knees closer towards his chest. With the covers thrown askew, Jean readjusted the blankets and laid one arm protectively over his old rival. If this was the best reassurance he could give at the moment.

As Jean began to slip into a dreamless sleep, he heard one last thing before unconsciousness over took him.

“Thanks, Jean.”

\---

Armin explained that it would take a year for Eren to recover, but of course the stubborn bastard managed to be walking and attending school in half the time. He had returned during the first quarter of junior year with a funny walk, but the same shit talking personality. If Jean had expected Eren’s flame to be tempered by the trauma, he was wrong. The kid had trouble moving a lot of things at once or navigating the stairs, but he was mobile. He was excused from gym and left classes earlier to avoid the clusterfuck that was the hall in between classes.

Routine quickly returned with Mikasa and Armin being Eren’s shadows, while Jean kept to the sidelines like during the previous year. He felt like he merely served as a replacement for Eren to Mikasa and Armin since they were almost always around him during the end of sophomore year and the start of the year, but their muse had returned so Jean gladly relinquished his position. He had fought off bullies for Armin and managed to get Mikasa to agree to go to Homecoming with him so it was a great start. He should have been bitter when Eren returned, but he felt no animosity for the boy.

Initially he kept his distance from him, either out of some misplaced respect or just the awkward feeling of being around the kid. Eren did not seem to take notice as far as Jean knew, so there were no issues. Until a certain asshole decided to start harassing the kid about his weird limp. Only Jean, Armin, and Mikasa really knew about it. When his two best friends happened to be out of view, Marcel took it as a chance to start interrogating the kid.

“Jaeger, why are you walking like a stick is stuck up your ass?” Marcel shouted, reminiscent of a certain question Jean experienced freshman year.

Whereas Jean was able to temper his attitude when the time called for it, Eren was as fiery as ever when Jean walked in with his lunch.

“The fuck did you say, jackass?” Eren shouted back.

“I said you got a stick up your ass.”

Eren hobbled over to Marcel and gave him his best death glare. His fuse was as short as ever and he attempted to punch the quarterback, but his fist was caught in midair. By sheer dumb luck and to Eren’s great misfortune, Marcel kicked his prosthetic. Eren fell face first as his left leg collapsed and his prosthetic revealed a little bit of itself from underneath his sweatpants.

“Holy shit, you don’t have a leg!” Marcel exclaimed.

The audible gasps and horrified looks killed any fire in Eren’s eyes, and he quickly looked at the floor in dismay. Not one to let something like that go, Jean sped walked across the cafeteria with his tray of spaghetti in hand. Soon he was at Eren’s side as Marcel continued to point in horror.

In an attempt to let history keep repeating itself, Jean took his pasta plate and threw it at Marcel’s chest. That provided enough of a distraction for people to stop staring at Eren and look at the instigator of the fight.

“The fuck was that, Kirschtein?”

Instead of answering the asshole’s question, jean opted to hit him upside the head with his tray, knocking the towering student to the ground. Before Marcel could recover, Jean hit him on the back of the head with his tray, effectively knocking him out. Discarding his tray, Jean looked to find Mikasa and Armin sprinting into the room and helping Eren up. Jean grabbed Eren’s leg as the other two carried him out of the cafeteria.

He watched silently as Eren finagled to get his leg attached as Mikasa and Armin figured out the story from Eren. It only took his a few moments to get his leg back on. Once he was able to stand up again, he finally faced Jean.

“I had him.” Eren informed him, earning a snort of disbelief form Jean.

“Just like how Armin had a chance when he punched Reiner last month,” Jean replied as he shook his head. “No offense Armin.”

“None taken.”

Eren gave Jean a slight grin, to which Jean gave one of his own. Laughter quickly erupted from the group and they spent the remainder of their time making fun of the stupid jock.

No more was Jean separated from the group, finally hanging out with them more often. He still hadn’t revealed his secrets but he knew that they would slip when he least expected it.

What he didn’t expect was Eren Jaeger showing up at his door only a few months later in the rain.

\---

Jean awoke to find his bed colder than he remembered, sunlight breaking through the holes in his drapes and nailing him in the eye. If the sun was at that angle it was at least 10 or 11 in the morning. He stretched out in his bed until the sound of a flushing toilet awakened him. Who the hell had stayed over? Memories of the previous evening, technically early that morning, hit him like a ton of bricks and he stared out at the hall when he saw Eren walking in nothing but his old Boy Scout shirt and boxers.

Either his morning wood suddenly got harder or puberty continued to bestow gifts on Eren, but Jean really needed to reconsider his priorities as he stared at his friend, blatantly gaping at the sight ahead of him. Eren walked into the room stretching his arms above his head, the smaller shirt riding up a little bit to reveal a small happy trail that Jean’s eyes followed down for a split second before bouncing up to Eren’s messy bedhead. Not that his bedhead was any better.

_You need to reevaluate your sexuality, Kirschtein._

“Morning, asshat,” Eren greeted with a smirk. Yup, there was the snarky kid Jean grew up with.

“Good morning to you, dickface.”

Eren snickered at the quip and found some basketball shorts in the mess of clothes on the floor. He slipped them on without protest from their owner and strolled back out into the hall. Jean chose to ignore the bird’s nest his hair likely was and slipped out into his tiny apartment. Warm sunlight flooded the room, in complete contrast to the previous night.

“I got stale cereal and maybe some milk for one of us. I hope that’s enough,” Jean said, revealing the limits of his spending.

“I can eat my cereal dry then.”

Jean’s face blanched and he gave Eren a look of absolute horror. “You eat cereal without milk? That’s so _unnatural_.”

That got Eren doubling over with laughter. “Of all the things I’ve told you, that’s what’s unnatural?”

“Fuck yeah that’s unnatural. No amount of dick sucking can compare to that!”

“Who says I’ve sucked dick?!” Eren glared. Recognizing he might have hit a nerve, Jean pulled back a little.

“Never said you did. Just saying that being gay is more natural than eating your cereal dry.”

Jean’s look of absolute disgust brought a smile back to Eren’s face and had him quickly forgetting his anger. They spent the rest of breakfast trading barbs until Jean recalled the laundry and went down to gather Eren’s belongings. To his disappointment the dryer decided only to spin and not actually dry the drenched stuff. Two more kicks got it going again, but that meant Eren would have to leech off of him further.

“Stupid dryer isn’t working. Hope you don’t mind dressing like me for a bit.”

Eren shrugged and continued eating his bowl of Cheerios. “I can think of worse punishments.”

Feeling brave enough to confront the issue again, Jean sat on the couch and kept eye contact with the messy eater. “Do Mikasa or Armin know what happened?”

All the color drained from Eren’s face as he shook his head, setting his spoon down momentarily. “’Kasa is at a sleep over with Historia and the girls, and I can’t bother Armin when he’s so worried for his midterms.”

Jean frowned but nodded in understanding. Eren was well aware of Jean’s living situation since their days of exchanging lines on their old English desk. It made sense that he’d come to the most isolated person.

“Well you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” Jean invited, Eren’s ears perking up immediately at the offer.

“R-really?”

“Course, dumbass.” Jean chuckled at Eren’s bewildered look. Eren pushed his cereal aside and stood up, choosing to lean on the hard plastic chair.

“Why?”

“Do I really need to tell you of all people? I’ve been where you are right now and it’s not a nice place,” Jean spoke in a lower tone, averting his eyes to ground at memories he had long since buried. He continued to pick at them like a fresh wound. “It feels like being lost in the dark without a light and it’s damn scary. I would’ve killed to have someone there for me. But you have plenty of light. You got Mikasa, Armin, and the guys at school to help you. None of them will reject you.”

Eren opened his mouth to protest but Jean cut him off.

“And yes me too. So stay here as long as you need to. I’m not going to let you wander in that darkness all alone.”

Jean expected maybe a punch or a thank you, but he was not expecting the running leap that ended up with him practically smushed between his musty futon and an overly excited Eren Jaeger.

\---

When the inevitable news hit Armin and Mikasa, they made it their life’s mission to find out where Jean lived and it quickly became revealed to them what happened to Jean during high school. Armin was aghast when Jean decided it was finally time for them to know, while Mikasa kept a stoic but sympathetic face. After the talk she clapped his shoulder and said something along the lines that she was proud of him. She also took it upon herself to play peacekeeper between Eren and his dad.

The first few days with Eren were a bit awkward since he insisted on sleeping on the futon to avoid inconveniencing his new roommate, but after the third night of back pain he finally indulged Jean and went to his bed. They soon fell into routine after that, with Eren’s shit adding to never ending mess in the apartment. Not that Jean was bothered in the least.

Mikasa explained to them that after Eren left the house, apparently his dad sunk into a mild depression and threw away all the alcohol. It took Eren a month before he decided to go confront his dad. Jean was beside himself with surprise when Eren asked him to tag along. That meeting was more civil than Jean expected, but it was bittersweet since Eren refused to move back in. His father let him take the remainder of his stuff as well as a credit card. It was an unspoken gift. He could use for whatever he needed since his father seemed incapable of providing for him at the moment. The biggest revelation was that his dad started going to AA meetings.

“Just stay safe and eat healthy.” Dr. Jaeger advised his son, who made it a point to avoid his father’s gaze. When he saw his son was not facing him, Grisha Jaeger turned to Jean. “Are you his boyfriend?”

That question surprised him. “What does it matter if I am?”

“I… I guess you’re right. Do your parents know about your sexuality?”

“Yeah.”

“What did they say?”

“My mom just wanted me to be happy before she died.” Jean stared at the ground. He didn’t owe this man any answers, but he felt compelled to talk. Dr. Jaeger just seemed as lost as Eren, but the mention of Jean’s dead mother seemed to catch the man by surprise. “My dad honestly acted like you, so I walked out. I don’t know what he thinks.”

The conversation died there as Eren returned with the remainder of his life in a suitcase. Not even giving his father so much as a goodbye, he went straight out the front door. Jean turned to follow him but froze when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Please take this.” Dr. Jaeger dropped a pair of car keys into Jean’s hands. “This was the replacement for the accident, but Eren won’t drive it. I think he still blames himself. But please use it if you need to, it’s out front. I made sure it was also more spacious accommodate his _needs_.”

Silently Jean nodded before leaving the man. It took some convincing but dragging a heavy suitcase across town was a pretty compelling argument for Eren to get in the car. Knowing his friend was probably terrified of the vehicle, Jean took the trip back much slower than necessary and stayed away from busy intersections. At least he finally could make use of the supposed parking lot his apartment offered him. 

School was relatively normal since no one knew about what went down at the Jaeger household. Out of some sense of misplaced obligation, Eren felt the need to tell his friends about his orientation and soon the school seemed to know. The one time Marcel tried to make fun of Eren; his two best buddies just decked him and left him on the floor. Jean was moderately surprised when he saw Reiner and Bertholdt holding hands after that.

Track still was not the same without Eren driving Jean to be better, but the thought of his rival pushed Jean to continue to improve and be the best sprinter the school had. The season was only halfway over and he was already promised a varsity jacket in the school’s red and white colors. And to make every home game better, he could always hear the distinct cheering of his friends in the stands. But Eren was always the loudest. When April rolled around, Jean played around with an idea before confiding it with his fellow sprinters.

They were his second family and still supported Eren since he would always be one of them, even in spirit. Jean didn’t know what he had to fear when he ran his idea by them and they readily accepted.

At the next home meet they ran their races like normal, but after the runners finished their races, they ran to the side lines and started taping paper to themselves. Jean kept a careful eye for Eren in the stands, and of course he was cheering on the distance runners with Mikasa and Armin by his side. Even Connie and Sasha joined them. With the last race finishing up, Jean gave the signal to his teammates and they steadily trickled onto the field with their coats over their jerseys. It took a few moments and a lot of swallowing his words before Jean called out to his roommate. He waved to Eren when the last runner finished the race.

“Hey, Jaeger!”

Of course his friend completely ignored him, but thank God for Connie’s attentive ears. Jean watched as his almost bald friend tugged on Eren’s sleeve and pointed him towards the field. Jean gave a signal to his teammates and they all dropped their jackets in tandem.

All the butterflies in his stomach fluttered away and turned into utter joy from watching Eren’s face fall in pure shock.

On the back of every jersey was a letter, all spelling out a question.

_Prom Eren?_

He almost looked like he would cry. Eren got down from the stands as quickly as possible, without losing his leg, and ran over to Jean, his face red either from the run or embarrassment. Jean hoped it was the latter.

“Are you fucking serious?” He asked in between breaths.

“No. That’s why all the guys agreed to tape this shit to their backs. Totally a joke.” Jean rolled his eyes.

Eren did not appreciate the sarcasm and punched him in the gut. “Fuck yes I will.”

\---

How times had changed. At the start of his junior year Jean never would have imagined he’d be taking Eren Jaeger to prom. He also never imagined he’d be renting a limo with Reiner and Bertl, both insisting on paying for it due to all the times they failed to protect Jean or Eren. While both did not appreciate the pity from Reiner or Bertl, Mikasa insisted on it since Armin was going with their best friend Annie and he’d need back-up. And Marcel was nowhere to be seen, so that was a huge plus.

The dance itself was pleasant with great food catered by the Survey Corp Company and music provided by the Garrison. Jean managed to afford his tux and flowers thanks to some extra hours his boss was generous enough to provide, while Eren took full advantage of the card his dad gifted. When they met their friends for pre-prom pics, everyone’s parents couldn’t help but call them handsome and a great pair. It almost made up for the lack of their actual parents. Almost.

Both were content with the pics, and couldn’t take their eyes off each other. A fact they would be teased about by their friends. 

When dinner ended and the time to dance actually came, Eren chose to remain seated and talked with Jean and the others. This continued well into the night and started to come across as abnormal to Jean. Slowly their friends got up to dance and did not return, eventually leaving just Jean and Eren watching their fellow students.

Gathering up some courage, Jean stood up and placed one hand nervously behind his back. He extended his right hand towards Eren and put on his best nervous smile. “May I have this dance?”

Eren blushed red at the invitation, but stared at the ground and rubbed his elbow a few times. “I’m really flattered… but I’m afraid I’m a shit dancer with this leg.”

“Since when do you let you let your leg stop you from doing anything, Jaeger?” Eren gestured towards his prosthetic, but instead of being downtrodden; Jean crossed his arms and smiled further as his blush deepened. Jean offered his hand once more and made a promise to his date. “C’mon, I’ll make sure you don’t fall.”

“Ok,” Eren’s face brightened as Jean helped him to his feet. Jean lead him towards the dance floor just in time for a slow song to begin.

As the melody flowed around them, Eren wrapped his arms around Jean’s neck, his eyes focused only on Jean’s and Jean’s alone. His dance partner grabbed him by the waist and guided him slowly to the calm rhythm of the song. Both were oblivious to the groups around them, feeling completely safe from the world. 

“See… nothing can stop you…” Jean whispered in Eren’s ear.

His date was positively _glowing_ after that. Jean’s face mimicked Eren’s in how deep his blush ran. They let their foreheads fall until they were leaning against each other as they danced, humming the lyrics to themselves.

Jean dared to venture further and squeezed Eren’s butt, earning a tiny squeak out of his date.

“Jerk!”

“Fuck you, I got a first name.”

“Okay, _Gene_ ,” Eren’s mouth curved into a devilish smile. His cherry red face only served to make Jean’s pants a little tighter.

“Whatever. Eren is a girl’s name.” Jean teased back, snickering at the oldest insult he had for his date.

“Oh shut up! That hasn’t been funny since first grade!”

“I do like it when you say my name though.” Jean informed him, only heating his face further.

Eren pulled his head back and his grin widened. “Really? Ok, Jean Kirschtein.”

“Beautiful. Just like you, Eren Jaeger.”

If not for the people surrounding them, as well as the song coming to an end, Eren might have jumped Jean right there. Given his limited options, Eren chose to pull Jean’s head towards his own, licking his lips. Catching the hint, Jean leaned down and prepared for the highlight of his evening.

Both had to stop when a bushy pile of black hair appeared next to them.

“Hands and lips where I can see them, Jaeger and Kirschtein,” Mr. Ackerman dully requested, breaking the moment. 

Both boys pulled away from each other and scampered towards the dinner table where their drinks and friends were at. Thankfully no one seemed to notice how flushed both boys were.

After prom proved to be an escape from their menacing principal, as well as their formal wear. They were able to change back into informal clothes and go to the community center the school rented out with their friends. Reiner and Bertl disappeared as soon as they had the opportunity, leaving Jean, Eren, Armin, and Annie suspicious but uncaring. They were big boys certainly capable of taking care of themselves.

The old community center had numerous activities planned from inflatable obstacle courses, to henna tattoos, to even a hypnotist prepared for the students. Annie dragged Armin immediately towards the henna station and surprised the boys when she got a unicorn on her forearm. Armin opted for floral pattern to trace up his arm while Eren and Jean teased him. The icy stare of death, commonly referred as Annie, shut both of them up without mentioning a word.

Deciding to indulge, Eren convinced the henna artist to try and make a phoenix that required the back of both of his hands to be complete. The look of concentration and wonder on Eren’s face just made Jean’s insides warm up and help him feel lightheaded. He was lightheaded enough to not only get a design, but let Jaeger pick what and where. He had absolutely no idea what Eren whispered for the artist make on the back of his neck. When the time came for the henna to be rubbed off, Jean was handed a mirror and was greeted with an intricate scorpion design.

“Should I ask why a scorpion?” He wondered as he patted his skin, amused by the design. It was cool if anything.

“Nope.” Eren answered before gesturing for Jean to follow him towards the inflatables.

Of course the giant inflatable fighting ring caught both of their attention right away and they quickly lined up for it. It was an arena where the students were given a pair of swords and won by either knocking their opponent down or disarming them. Or as Jean was hoping, an excuse to mercilessly hit Eren for not doing last week’s dishes.

“You’re going down, asshole,” Eren taunted as he picked up his inflatable weapons.

“Ha, you wish, Jaeger. I’m not going easy on you because of your leg either.” Jean warned, a competitive smirk replacing his usual scowl.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

It was supposed to be a simple best two out of three, but they couldn’t even get past round 1 without attracting a crowd. Years of fighting only meant the two knew each other’s tricks very well, and even with his leg Eren was able to keep up under Jean’s onslaught. An unfortunate slip had Eren on his knees and Jean was able to knock his swords away with ease. He might have also _accidentally_ hit Eren in the face once or five times during the disarmament.

Round two began and ended with one move: Eren lunging at Jean like the suicidal bastard he was, and knocking Jean flat on his back.

“Crazy asshole,” Jean muttered from the floor. Eren offered him a hand, but as a matter of pride he hoisted himself up for the final round.

This was their first actual fight of sorts since freshman year and it felt nostalgic if anything. The third round was a repeat of the first with strong hits, quick dodges, and snarky remarks. All in all both boys were thoroughly enjoying themselves. The lighthearted mood ended with Eren tripping once more, but Jean discarded his swords to catch him. 

“Woah there, you alright?”

“I win,” Eren declared in his arms.

Jean gave him a deadpan stare, trying to be unaffected by the unfairly handsome toothy grin. “Oh suck a dick, Jaeger.”

“He just might suck yours!” Reiner shouted from the side, causing Jean to drop his roommate. Only the people close to the rink could see how red in the face Jean was. Thankfully Eren was able to get himself back up and threw a sword at Reiner’s face, nailing a perfect blow.

“I think I’m good for tonight.” Eren whispered, Jean nodding furiously in agreement.

The boys said their goodbyes and managed to not turn red when Reiner winked at them as they left. The ride home was quiet with Jean keeping his eyes on the road and Eren staring off into space out the window. It took all of Jean’s self-restraint to not admire Eren’s cute face under the passing streetlights. The quiet calm of the morning reminded him briefly of when his friend ended up on his doorstep only a few months prior.

They calmly ascended the stairs, hand in hand, neither lingering too much on the thought of their laced together fingers. When they reached the front of Jean’s apartment, Eren halted and pulled Jean to a stop.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. I had a great night too.” Jean smiled weakly, finally turning to face his date. To his surprise Eren was redder than when they were dancing.

“Not just for that. Tonight has been unforgettable, but I mean in general. Thanks for the room, the advice, the— well everything. Tonight is just another reason to be thankful for you being there. How could I ever repay you?”

Jean’s hand fell to his side as Eren let it go, cautiously raising his gaze until he met Jean’s face. Now his date was just as red as he was.

“You don’t owe me anything, but I can think of one thing you can do…” Jean rubbed that back of his neck, right on top of the scorpion he had received. Unable to form coherent words in his mouth, he just waggled his eyebrows as seductively as he could at his roommate.

Eren promptly went tightlipped and his eyes bulged out a little bit, bringing his hands in front of his chest defensively. “Hey, just because Reiner suggested—”

“Not that! I mean kiss me, asshole!” Jean slammed his palm into his forehead, unaware of the noise they were making. A door creaked behind them, but neither paid much attention.

“O-oh. Yeah, I’d like to.”

Always being the more confident of the two, Eren took a step forward and Jean took a step back until he had his back against the door. Eren’s left hand was planted next to Jean’s head, a relaxed smile plastered on his face. Jean was the poster child of nervousness; eager for the present he was going to receive but unsure when it was arriving. He tilted his head down, biting his bottom lip. Eren leaned up and prepared to close the distance between them.

Neither heard their doorknob squeak, and were certainly not ready to go tumbling into their apartment. They landed on top of each other, not entirely sure what just transpired. They looked up to the doorway and the silhouette of a short and quite angry man, whom they quickly realized was their  
Principal.

“Loud brats, some of us are trying to sleep.” Beady black dead eyes narrowed at the boys on the floor.

“Mr. Ackerman?”

“Yes, now go do that disgusting shit in your apartment.”

He made a look of utter disgust at the thought of the two kissing, but it lasted only a second when a towering blond man appeared next to him.

“Leave them alone, it’s their prom night.” The man Jean recognized as his army veteran neighbor spoke to the short an angry man, providing a perfect contrast to their moody principal.

Before any arguments could be made, the veteran picked up Mr. Ackerman with his left arm and carried him away.

“We live next to Captain America?” Eren asked as he dusted himself off. Jean shook his head as he pushed himself off the floor.

“Yup.” He quickly shut his apartment door, making sure to lock it one last time. He really did not want any more interruptions.

Unsure if the mood was killed, he turned to apologize to Eren, only to have a pair of strong arms to pull his head down towards a pair of hungry lips. It was abrupt, messy, and teeth clattered, as Jean lost his footing and fell back towards the futon. They pulled away, both completely flushed red. Instead of being embarrassed or nervous, they went back at it again this time with more patience.

Jean melted into Eren’s tight embrace, trying to be the restraint to Eren’s powerful desire. And he failed miserably. The flurry of pecks around each other’s mouth, the bumping of noses, and the terrible aim of their lips lead to kisses just about everywhere except on the lips. When they finally managed to pull back and try again, Jean boldly went forward and probably bruised Eren’s lips like so many times before. Instead of it being with a punch or kick, it’s with his lips and his inability to hold back. Their hurried breaths keep them locked until the painful necessity for air drives them apart.

As if waking from a dream, Jean stared at Eren through half lidded eyes, unsure if that had just happened. To make sure this wasn’t a dream he leaned forward again, slowly, and placed his forehead on Eren’s.

“Is this real?”

“Fuck yeah it is, asshat.”

Jean began to giggle until Eren stifled it with his lips one more time.

\---

Junior year came to an end with a complete shock to the student body, as Eren Jaeger and Jean Kirschtein walked down the hallway hand in hand. If anyone had a problem with it, no one mentioned it out of fear of getting their asses kicked. The two boys who fought on the day they met, almost strangled each other over yu-gi-oh, and competed in track were officially dating. A year ago people would’ve laughed at the idea of the two even being friends, but a lot had changed in a year.

Despite being two of the most ill-tempered students in the grade, the boys were able to keep a steady relationship for the duration of their senior year, even making it through another prom. Any fights were settled through the Wii Armin gave them, and if they ever needed space they had friend’s places they could crash at until things cooled down.

The greatest fear of senior year was the college application process. Both barely had enough money to keep themselves sustained, let alone further their education. Any arguments they had against were quashed when Mikasa physically threatened them to at least apply to a few places. And in the middle of spring with the rush of acceptance letters, a few scholarships came through. Sure they both would be in debt if they accepted a college invitation, but they agreed to attend the same place and it would be manageable if they went that way.

It was to their great surprise when they learned not only would they be attending Sina University together, but just about all their friends opted for the gigantic school as well. In all the stress and unknown college would bring, that was at least one reassuring factor going in. All they had to do was survive graduation.

Mikasa brought the news that Eren’s dad would be present and wanted to talk to not only him, but also Jean. The boys maintained little contact with him, but Eren had at least grown to the point he’d buried his frustration. He was nervous and scared to face him, but at least he could actually stare the man in the face. Jean was unsure why he was going to receive a talk as well though.

As he parked the car, he placed a steady hand on Eren’s shaking one. He nodded and gave a look of reassurance. Eren smiled and pulled the handicap sign out of the glove compartment and placed it on the rearview mirror.

“You look beautiful.” Jean reminded him as he got out of the car, straightening his graduation gown as he stretched his legs.

“You too,” Eren countered.

“Hey! That spot is meant for handicap people!” A man with a ridiculous black bowl cut shouted at Jean.

Jean’s shoulder fell as he heaved a sigh. At least once a week someone would shout at him and Eren for that, despite having the parking sticker. If they were good people, they would just casually remind people Eren was indeed handicapped. But they were not good people. And they were impatient people.

“Leg?” Eren casually asked, already lifting up his gown to detach his prosthetic.

“Leg.”

Jean extended his hand and was quickly given Eren’s oddly weighted limb. Raising the leg and giving a shout, Jean sprinted towards the stranger. “Hey, douschedisco! Why don’t you come over here so I can shove this foot up your ass?!”

Seeing a shouting and visibly pissed Jean running towards him waving what looked like a leg, the stranger turned and ran back towards his car. Having a bit too much fun, Jean followed him waving Eren’s limb like a madman. As soon as he arrived at the man’s car, a purse flashed across Jean’s field of vision and nailed him square in the face, knocking him flat on his ass.

“Back the fuck off, you lunatic!” A distinctly female voice threatened Jean. Once he regained his breath he opened his eyes to find a pair of narrow eyes glaring at him. It took him a moment before he recognized the icy gaze.

“Hitch?”

The girl dropped her defensive pose when she recognized that voice. “Jean? When did you dye your hair?”

“Years ago.” Wow, it really had been that long since he saw anyone from his family.

“Why do you have a leg?”

“It’s my boyfriend’s.” Jean quickly explained before slapping a hand over his mouth. He forgot he never came out to anyone in his family, even his cousin.

“Relax, we all know.” Hitch offered a hand and pulled him up. She helped dust off his robe while Jean began to process the questions forming in his mind.

“Wait, why are you here?”

“To see you walk, duh. Uncle James invited us.”

“ _He’s here?!_ ”

Jean’s eyes went wide as he immediately began scanning the parking lot for the familiar tawny man that was his father.

“I guess he didn’t tell you either. Yeah, he’s here along with my parents I came on my own with my boyfriend, who you seem to have scarred. Get out here Marlow!”

The man with the unfortunate haircut peeked outside the passenger side door and gave a quick wave.

“Well it’s good to see you but I should probably return this.” Jean lifted the leg and his cousin laughed.

“Yeah, that’s important. Now scram. I’ll see you after you walk.”

Jean jogged back to the car to find Armin dusting off Eren’s gown. His boyfriend meanwhile was heaving for breaths. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, never better. That was fucking _gorgeous_.” Eren wheezed. Armin punched him lightly on the shoulder as he dusted his best friend’s graduation gown.

“What happened to you?” Jean ignored the blond furiously working.

“I saw you run down the parking lot at full speed with my leg, only to get decked by a purse. I died and went to heaven.”

“He fell out of the car and was rolling all over the ground like a dog.” Armin corrected.

Handing Eren back his leg, the three friends walked back to the community center they were partying at only a month earlier, this time to graduate. Not wanting to burden his boyfriend with extra worry, Jean kept the new information about his dad to himself, although Eren could sense something had troubled him. Thankfully he kept his questions to himself.

Even with their last names so close to each other, the couple was still separated by a few students when they were seated. They still managed to exchange looks of boredom, excitement, or a rare wink as the ceremony progressed. What they couldn’t hide from each other was their attempts to find their families in the crowd, but to no avail. There were simply too many people that were too far away to see. At least the ceremony managed to avoid being boring when Mr. Ackerman came on stage to give the staff speech, getting a few snickers when he used a stepstool to reach the microphone. His icy look quieted the noises though.

When the time to walk came, the students were all ears. Mikasa was the first to cross followed immediately by the valedictorian Armin Arlert, earning loud cheers from their best friends and even Jean. This process repeated until Eren was called up. The student body remained largely quiet until he received his diploma. Jean stood right up and shouted.

“You did it, babe!”

Eren quickly retorted after shaking the hand of the superintendent. “Fuck yeah I did!”

While the students laughed, the staff was definitely not amused. Eren quickly scurried off the stage before they could take action, and the name calling continued until Jean went up. Mr. Ackerman kept a cold eye on Eren, as if daring him to try, but his boyfriend still hollered for him. It just wasn’t anything Jean could understand. As he walked off stage, Jean noticed a small group of people standing in the distance that were beginning to sit down. From the distance he managed to recognize the unfortunate haircut of Marlow, so at least he knew where they were seated.

He remained mostly quiet for the rest of the ceremony thinking of how he’d greet his father. There were a few more cheers for his other friends, but Jean and Eren seemed to be content pondering their fate when at least everyone was dismissed for the summer and eventually college for those that decided to move on.

Their friends were quick to get back together and congratulate each other as their parents slowly approached. One by one they were picked off by families until only Jean, Mikasa, and Eren remained. The three bickered amongst themselves until someone clearing their throat caught the group’s attention. Turning towards the sound, they found Dr. Jaeger standing awkwardly with a tawny and lightly brown haired man. His face was angular and sharp, but wrinkled and worn out. Eren quickly figured out who this man was.

“Hello,” Jean’s father greeted the students.

“Hi, dad,” Jean greeted, finally facing the man he had not seen in three years. He started to shake, not knowing if it was from nerves or long buried anger. Confronting his father was like opening an old wound that he thought was long healed.

Fingers laced into his and a firm squeeze from Eren’s hand helped calm him down.

“Eren,” Dr. Jaeger began, cutting the tense air only slightly. “I just wanted to say congratulations on your achievements. I’m proud of what you’ve managed to accomplish in spite of everything. You’re a strong boy.”

“Thanks, dad,” Eren rubbed the back of his head. Jean returned the earlier squeeze and it gave Eren enough courage to face the man who threw him out slightly over a year ago. He was shocked to notice how much his father had aged. Wrinkles that did not exist before outlined his tired eyes, and grey broke into his distinctly dark hair.

Unlike the Jaegers who seemed to be able to communicate, Jean and his father merely exchanged looks. Even Eren was unable to read the silent conversation they were having until Mr. Kirschtein broke the silence.

“Your mom would be so happy.” His father informed him. Of all the ways the conversation would have begun, Jean could not have predicted that. His tough façade faded at the mention of his mom and Jean’s shoulders slumped down. “Graduating, going to college, self-sufficient. And you found someone. She would be ecstatic to see you now.”

“Dad…”

“I— No, we can’t apologize enough for the stress we put you two through. But we can wish you the best.” Jean’s father pulled out an envelope and passed it to his son. “This is some scholarship money to help. It’s not much but it’s renewable and through work.”

“You think I want money? I spent three years scrounging around trying to survive because of you!” Jean all but shouted at the man.

“I know, but I helped where I could. Who do you think paid for your apartment?”

“It was free,” Jean crossed his arms, trying his hardest to be indignant.

“Son, nothing is free in the world. I just lucked out you rented from my old army buddy.”

“Captain America?”

“His name is Erwin, but yes him. He recognized your name and talked to me. I didn’t want to be a bother so I left you be.”

“Father of the year right here…”

“I never claimed to be and I never will be. I just want you to be happy. It’s what your mom wanted. That’s why we’re paying for your college experience.” Mr. Kirschtein gestured between him and Dr. Jaeger.

“Come again? How do you know him?” Jean questioned.

“He said we’re paying for you two to go to college. I’m glad Mikasa didn’t spoil that surprise for you.” Dr. Jaeger smiled.

Well that explained why she was so adamant about applying for college.

“And it’s funny the people who you meet through AA.” Jean’s dad chuckled. If possible, Jean was even more stunned by that revelation. “I believe your friends are going to want to take pictures soon so we’ll let you be. Oh, one more thing. I know it’s not close to repairing the damage I’ve done but there’s a certain _someone’s_ contact information in the envelope too. You’ll be surprised to know he’ll be going to the same college as you. I tried to get him to come today but he’s also graduating right now.”

With that information, their fathers turned to leave. They were right it was not anywhere near enough to repair their relationships, but it was a step in the right direction. Jean pocketed the envelope to deal with later, because like his dad said there were pictures to be taken. And Jean wanted a photograph of his gorgeous boyfriend next to him in a cap and gown.

\---

After the graduation parties had ended and the day was over, Jean and Eren retreated by their little corner in the world. It was just now starting to hit them that their shelter, no matter how shitty it was, would soon be vacated. So much had happened there from Eren’s morning visit, to prom night, and soon it would be left behind as part of a bittersweet chapter in their lives.

They quickly discarded their gowns in favor of t-shirts and boxers and take-out. Jean was in favor of celebratory making out for all the shit they had endured together, but the sight of the envelope from earlier caught his attention. Struggling to reach the paper through Eren’s tight hug was a challenge, but one he could manage. Like his father said there were several scholarships for the boys their fathers had applied for, but there was also a sticky note at the back of a paper for Jean.

_Marco Bodt Contact Info_

Jean stared at the piece of paper, unable to believe what he was reading. When Eren caught sight of it, he relaxed his embrace and stared at it.

“You gonna call him?” he wondered.

“What?”

“There’s his phone number. Call him.”

“But— but what if he doesn’t wanna talk?”

“He was your best friend, dumbass. Of course he’s going to want to talk.”

Taking a big gulp, Jean knew he was right. He pulled out his cellphone and slowly dialed the number. With his nerves dancing, Jean was unable to bring himself to press the call button. Lucky for him Eren was two steps ahead of him and pressed it for him. Jean hissed but Eren only laughed at the reaction.

“Hello? Marco speaking.”

Holy shit it was him. And his voice got deep.

“M-Marco?” Jean’s voice almost cracked, already a pitch higher than normal. He spoke as if he was trying the name for the first time, unsure and cautious.

“Jean?! Oh my God you sound the same!” An excited reply stunned Jean into silence.

“Thanks, I think.”

“I heard you graduated today too and that we’re going to the same college. How cool is that? I can’t wait to see you again!”

It was like time had not flown at all, the conversation guiding itself as naturally and smooth as a river. Eren watched with great amusement and attention as Jean’s face brightened up, almost as much as when he asked him to be his boyfriend. It was a sight he never grew tired of, not that he planned to. Gone were the days of stuttering idiots, and replaced was a couple that thrived on familiarity. Still, the moments of childlike wonder that crossed jean’s face got Eren’s heart racing once more.

“Yeah, no I’ve been well. No I’m not alone. I’ve had friends and such.” Jean quickly glanced at Eren, who was sitting with his legs crossed and his elbows resting on his knees. He shot Jean his best toothy grin and rested his chin in his palms. “You’re not going to believe who kept me together for most of it. And yes, I’m dating him now…”

While it was true Jean went through hell and back, getting lost in darkness until a spark guided him to safety. He was able keep himself alive and make friend with others, ultimately being able to not only help another lost soul, but also date the jackass. There was no way he’d ever be able to predict that in a torrential downpour in the middle of his junior year of high school he’d find so much more than an old bitter enemy. 

He found a friend, a close confident, and a reflection of himself. 

He found someone he could help take care of, take to dances, make out with, and call a boyfriend. 

He found Eren Jaeger, and he’d never want to take that back.


	2. Locked Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren wants nothing more than to try and cheer Jean up after a terrible day at college, but his old crush and their mutual friend unintentionally derails his plans.
> 
> The story of how Eren met Marco Bodt and how he invaded his life, for better or worse, and how Jean and Eren try to help their best friend. Be prepared for the same type of angst, humor, and shenanigans like last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _If I showed you my flaws_   
>  _If I couldn't be strong_   
>  _Tell me honestly_   
>  _Would you still love me the same?_
> 
> -Locked Away by R. City feat. Adam Levine

**Jesus chalupa take the wizz**

Eren raised an eyebrow, slightly curious at the meaning of the newest message from Jean. Knowing his boyfriend it was probably something simple that was pissing him off and Eren had plans on enjoying himself at the moment so he quickly locked his phone.

Despite only being an hour away from Trost, the bitter autumn wind had already began to stir around college town that Jean, Eren, and most of their former classmates had decided to call their home. Sina was remarkably stifling in the summer, breezy in the fall, icy in the winter, and soggy in the spring. It was a match made in heaven for Eren.

**chalupa not chalupa**

The potpourri of reds, yellows, and oranges that speckled the trees in late September gave campus a warm and earthy feeling. The nippy air that bit at his smiling lips provided a much welcomed relief from the last throes of summer heat. It served as a reminder of Eren’s childhood home and was easily his favorite time of year. It was a time for rest, renewal, and, of course, gorging on food. Not that he could afford the last one on a college student’s budget.

Faces, both new and old, dotted the University of Sina’s campus. Another year of college had begun and Eren was looking forward to it, even three weeks into his second year. He missed his friends, the familiar routine of classes, and overpriced but tasty campus cafeteria food. Where he enjoyed the seasons, the return to work, and greasy good food, his boyfriend felt the opposite.

**Fucking auburn cockrocket**

The weather never made up its mind, so Jean could not go three hours before having to change outfits between classes. More freshmen meant longer lines for much needed caffeine at the one local café that had a decent brew. And no matter what Eren said, the food was always shitty. Campus food was either overcooked, burnt, too soft, or otherwise inedible. They even screwed up pasta; the first thing he learned to make when he ran away from home at 14.

However, Jean knew it wasn’t fall until his limited collection of hoodies began to disappear.

It was always around the middle of September when his prized lounging hoodies slowly found their way out of his closet and into the more random parts of their shared dorm, like the bathroom floor, on the futon, or one time in the freezer. Jean banned vodka from their room after the last one. What should have been a minor annoyance was actually his favorite part of the season though, since most of the time he found his hoodies on his favorite person.

**Oh fuck me in the ass and call me Little Bo Peep!**

Eren cracked a smile at that one before typing back a snide reply. **Is that an invitation?”**

Eren took comfort in Jean’s clothes. They provided an acceptable substitute for the real thing until classes were over and both boys retreated to dorm for the day. Being similar in size meant Jean’s hoodies fit Eren comfortably, the sleeves only being slightly longer than his arms and allowing his hands enough space to hide from the chilly wind. Eren waited patiently outside the Arts and Sciences College in the fall weather for their other roommate. Both him and Armin finished classes at the same time on Tuesdays and Thursdays but Eren’s best friend always remained after classes either to get questions answered or chat with his professors.

**Oh that gets you to reply**

Eren rolled his eyes once again before being startled by a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, how did the Anatomy and Physiology exam go?” Armin greeted.

“Better than I thought. Dr. Zoe’s review session was a good idea,” Eren informed him, quickly stashing his cellphone into his jean pocket. He stretched his hands as he arose from the stone bench by the college entrance.

“Told ya.”

“Yeah, yeah. How was class?”

“Boring. The Greek philosophers just don’t describe the human condition as eloquently as the Enlightment philosophers. My professor doesn’t share my opinion,” Armin chuckled a bit at the thought.

That more than likely meant his last essay did not meet the teacher’s expectations. Rather than let Armin dwell on it, Eren clapped him on the shoulder and gave his best toothy grin.

“You’re gonna ace the class regardless, you know that. So just look forward to your hot date tonight and relax with Hannah,” Eren advised.

Armin’s eyes popped at the comment and he froze in his place. His mouth hung agape as he stared at Eren. “How did you know?”

“Khakis, button down shirt, and cologne were a good hint. You can’t fool me ‘Min. Your powers of observation are rubbing off.”

“I guess so.” His childhood friend let a loud laugh before catching up to Eren. “I don’t know when I’ll return so you and Jean have the dorm until further notice.”

Now it was Eren’s turn to laugh. “We won’t throw any parties, mom.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“If anything happens I’ll send you a heads up.”

“Please do. I don’t want a repeat of last Halloween.”

Armin shuddered at the memory while Eren’s olive skin did little to hide flushed face. His eyes stared at the ground ahead of him as he replayed that embarrassing evening in his mind. Living alone with Jean for two years had many perks like privacy, and dorm life had many harsh reminders that they had a third person in their room at all times. At least Armin had opened the door and interrupted them before Jean—

“Hey guys!” A cheery voice startled Eren out of his stray thoughts. His heart skipped a beat when he peered up at his old freckled friend and one time crush.

\---

“This is your fault,” an angry voice huffed. The annoyed third grader shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he glared daggers at the ground, focusing his frustration on a nearby pebble. He kicked the rock towards Eren, nailing him on the arm. 

“Batman _is cooler_ than Superman!” Eren indignantly crossed his arms, leaning against the timeout wall.

“No he’s not!” Jean yelled back. He wanted to punch Jaeger again but he valued what was left of his recess time even more.

“You’re both wrong, its Wonder Woman,” a freckled girl sneered at the two standing in timeout by the wall. Before either boy could hurl an insult at Ymir, she ran off with her kickball towards the playground.

Rather than focus on the idiot next to him, Eren turned his attention towards trees where his sister tended to hang out. His adoptive sister Mikasa sat in the shade eating out of her Hello Kitty lunchbox, ignoring the students running around playing tag. 

She and Eren had kept to themselves since moving to Trost after their house was destroyed in the storm cell that ravaged Shiganshina two years prior. It wasn’t that they couldn’t make friends, they just didn’t fit in with anyone. Eren had been fighting Jean since their first day so his temper kept most people away and Mikasa never seemed the easiest to talk to. 

They had each other and that was enough.

“Five more minutes and you two can go play,” the teacher on lunch duty informed them. Jean groaned and shot Eren another icy glare, pissed that he was missing recess. Eren merely shrugged.

He returned to glancing over the playground when he spotted the blond kid in their grade with the weird haircut, Armin. He had long blond hair that was cut evenly at his neck, almost like coconut. Like Eren the kid kept to himself, but not for lack of trying. Armin would try talking to some kids one week, go back to reading big kid books another week, and then try again once he gained more confidence. He seemed nice from what Eren could tell, just really nerdy.

Today he was reading another big picture book, almost the size of his chest but some of the bullies of the grade had other plans. Eren could see a taller kid holding the book out of the Armin’s reach, probably taunting him. That also wasn’t a first.

What surprised Eren was when a freckled boy appeared next to Armin and started pointing fingers at the bully with Armin’s book. Soon the bully’s friends joined the small crowd and even Eren could hear bad names like meanie and butthead were being shouted. Jean finally seemed to take notice and he narrowed his eyes at the group.

“What’s Marco doing now?” Jean mumbled a bit louder than he intended.

Eren’s interest was officially piqued when one of the bully’s friends pushed the freckled kid into Armin and they fell on the ground. Jean cracked his knuckles when both kids fell. And as fate would have it, the teacher returned just in time.

“Ok, you two can go. Stay out of trouble!”

Jean bolted right towards the growing conflict and missed what their teacher had ordered. Seeing his enemy run towards the group could only mean Jean was going to bully those kids, and Eren was not gonna let that happen. He sprinted right after Jean.

He had every intention to tackle Jean as soon as he caught up to him, but he was shocked when Jean used his head start to tackle the guy who pushed Armin to the ground. Not really planning on wasting his speed, Eren collided into the bully with Armin’s book, taking both boys to the ground as students began to gather and cheer.

Eren found himself being dragged off the boy by one of his friend’s, but his panic was brief as he saw Hello Kitty flash across the sky and hit the boy in the face. Mikasa positioned herself in between Eren and the other bullies.

As fast the fight began, it ended just as quickly when two teachers rushed over.

Eren and Jean found themselves back on the line for the rest of recess, still annoyed at each other.

“This is still your fault.”

“Whatever.”

Despite being a waste of his recess, Eren and Mikasa had made their first friend in the form of Armin Arlert that day. Eren also met Jean’s best friend and learned that even his sworn enemy wasn’t all evil. 

\---

“Marco!” Eren and Armin greeted their old friend.

Eren stared at the slightly taller freckled man who had just scared him out of his thoughts. He was wearing his usual button down shirt and khaki pants, complete with a scarf and gloves. Where Eren preferred the comfort and warmth of Jean’s hoodies, Marco layered up like a professional thanks to Catholic high school.

“What are you two doing?”

“I’m getting ready for tonight.” Armin glanced at his watch and realization flashed across his face. “Oh my appointment is in five. I gotta bolt!”

“Then run!” Eren shooed Armin away by pushing his friend in the direction of food. “Enjoy Hannah and have a good time. You deserve it.”

“Thanks. Have a good day Marco!” Armin jogged away before stopping suddenly. “Wait, how do you know her name?!”

Eren gave Armin another toothy grin before turning around and gesturing for Marco to tag along. Not having the time to get his answer, Armin ran in the opposite direction of Eren and Marco. Eren knew he would have to answer that question later that night. Armin was too curious for his own good.

Once Armin was out of sight Eren broke out into full on laughter. Marco tilted his head in confusion at his friend’s sudden reaction. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing. Armin has a date tonight but he doesn’t know how I figured it out.”

Marco glanced at Eren for a few seconds before sighing.

“Reading people’s texts is unbecoming of you, Eren.”

Eren shrugged his shoulders as he stared off in the distance at their dorm. It wasn’t his fault Armin was acting all giddy yesterday afternoon and Eren just so happened to find his smartphone lying atop the minifridge. Curiosity may have killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back to life. 

And soon Armin would likely murder him invading his privacy once again.

“And looking at my Anatomy exam is unbecoming of you.”

What was meant as a snarky joke completely froze Marco in his place. The warm color drained from his face, his mouth hung open, and panic looked like it was about to overcome him. Eren’s misplaced smile fell as he realized he may have hit a nerve.

“You- you saw?” Marco nervously asked.

“Well, yeah,” Eren replied, almost cringing when Marco visibly recoiled at the statement. “Just about you and everyone else around me did the same. Are you struggling with the material too?”

“What? No!” Marco forcibly laughed. “I just wanted to double check a question, that’s all.”

As much as Eren wanted to call bullshit on him and say that his friend checked quite a few questions, Eren recognized when he was walking on eggshells and shifted the topic to something they both could enjoy: his boyfriend.

“Jean send you those cryptic messages too?”

Marco’s tense body regained some of its natural movement, grateful for the new subject. His knowing smile confirmed Eren’s suspicions.

“Yeah, but I still don’t know what Jesus chalupa is supposed to mean.”

\---

Armin clutched the yellow polka-dotted blanket around his body, watching nervously as Eren shot another zombie in the head. The TV, being the only source of light in Eren’s room, exploded into a variety of pink and red squishy organs. Armin let out a small gasp as another zombie jumped into the screen.

“It’s just a game ‘Min,” Eren chuckled. “This is why Playstation is better than Nintendo.”

“Because gore?” Armin gave Eren a skeptical look. He noticed the doorknob begin to slowly turn but elected to ignore it.

“Because gore.”

Suddenly, the door flung open and blinding light filled the room. Now Eren was the one to scream. He fell over onto his side as his mom entered his room. She did not seem impressed by his reaction.

“You boys need some light in here,” Mrs. Jaeger commented as she flipped on the switch. Armin retreated into his blanket shelter like a turtle to hide from the light. Eren hissed and shut his eyes immediately.

“Mom! This is a sleepover, it’s supposed to be dark.” Eren grumbled as he unwillingly readjusted to the light.

“Then I guess no one wants fresh cookies?”

“Cookies?” Armin popped his out of his polka-dotted blanket, his attention captured. Eren’s mom snickered a bit at his childish enthusiasm.

Mrs. Jaeger revealed a platter of cookies, offering them to the new high schoolers. Eren grabbed the plate without so much as a thank you and retreated to his bed. He sat next to Armin and offered his best friend the treats. Eren’s mom cleared her throat and gave both boys a disapproving look.

“Thanks Mrs. Jaeger!” Armin smiled.

“Thanks mom...” Eren all but whispered. Content with the gratitude, Eren’s mom walked over to the bed and placed a kiss on Eren’s head. Her son quickly recoiled from the affection and went wide eyed. “Mom!”

“Remember to share with Mikasa and the girls,” Mrs. Jaeger gently reminded before exiting the room, shutting the door behind her.

Eren sat simmering on his bed as his face reddened from embarrassment. Armin nibbled on a cookie, enjoying the sugar rush from the warm treat. A strand of chocolate landed on his chin as he pulled the freshly baked treat away from his mouth. Eren pointed to his chin and Armin wiped at the chocolate, successfully smearing it further. Eren giggled but let him be.

“These are tasty,” Armin complimented.

“Can’t beat my mom’s baking,” Eren bragged. His confident grin fell a little as a stray thought hit his mind. “But Marco comes pretty close.”

“Yeah, I heard his brownies were fantastic in Home Ec.”

“They were. I was there.”

The thought of the chocolatey treats got Eren drooling but he satisfied his desires with his mom’s dessert. Say what he wanted about his mom’s baking, Marco was a great baker and the grade knew it.

“Should we share these with Mikasa, Sasha, and Krista?” Armin questioned, biting into another cookie. More chocolate smeared across his chin, not that he noticed.

“If Sasha gets her hands on these then we get no more. They’re ours!” Eren declared as he pulled the plate close to him. Armin shrugged his shoulders and fell back onto the bed. He clutched his blanket even tighter than earlier as he rolled onto his side to face Eren, who was too busy devouring cookies to notice the uncomfortable look on his friend’s face.

“Eren?”

Eren froze in the middle of chewing his cookie and stared back at Armin. With his mouth still full he replied, “Yeah?”

“I-I-I-I like guys!” Armin blurted before withdrawing to the safety of his blanket.

Even from within his warm cocoon Armin could hear his friend audibly swallow. “What?”

Armin shook more despite being next to who he considered his closest friend. In spite of his fear, he repeated himself once more. “I think I like guys.”

The plate of cookies nudged against his head several times before he peaked out of his favorite blanket. To his surprise Eren was wearing a smile on his face. “You too?”

That question got Armin to pop his head out as he grabbed another cookie suspiciously. “Yes?”

“Cool. Me too.”

“R-really?” The thought bewildered Armin yet gave him the strength to fully emerge from his shell. He ate the cookie quickly and made a bigger mess in his carelessness. A few crumbs fell onto his blanket as he observed Eren, trying to see if he was lying.

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know”

“Who do you like?” Armin inquired.

“W—what kind of question is that?” Eren sputtered as he reached for another cookie, only to have the plate pulled away from him as his hand got close. Armin shook his head, determined for an answer. “’Min!”

“I’ll tell if you tell. Then more cookies!”

“Fine.” Eren stared at the bed, unable to look his friend in the face. Butterflies danced in his belly, his confidence evaporating in the face of his best friend’s curiosity. With sweaty palms and chills running all over his body, Eren admitted, “Well I’m not sure if I’m gay… but Marco was cute.”

“Marco?”

“Yes.”

“Marco Bodt?”

“Yup.”

“Jean’s friend that moved away?”

“Is there another one?” Eren shot Armin his best deadpan look as his nervousness faded, his secret out to the world. And his friend did the last thing he expected. Armin started rolling in laughter. “What? What’s so funny?!”

His pride felt like it had been hit, Armin for once riling him up. It took a little bit before Armin regained his composure enough to explain his reaction. “I’m sorry it’s just that I like Jean.”

“Kirschtein?”

“Yes.”

“The guy I hate.”

“Yup.”

“The dumbass who just dyed his hair?”

“That one.”

“ _It’s blue_.”

“I think it’s cool.” Armin shrugged, now unable to meet his friend’s judgmental gaze.

Armin offered the plate back to Eren, not taking his eyes off a really interesting piece of loose thread on the bed. He almost jumped out of his skin when Eren’s hand landed on his. His friend offered a gentle smile and his frayed nerves began to calm down.

“Shitty guy, but I won’t hate you,” Eren reassured him. “I’m just glad Connie couldn’t make it now. This got really gay.”

Both boys laughed loudly at the blunt but accurate statement. They toppled over into a pile of giggles that eventually tapered out. Armin broke the silence when he posited, “It’s not really gay if you aren’t gay.”

“I don’t know if I am.”

“You could find out…” Armin returned his gaze to the piece of thread he found earlier, rubbing his hands together. Eren raised an eyebrow at the suggestion.

“How?”

Armin let out a sigh before staring at his friend dead on. “This is just an idea, and I’m not saying we have to but- from a scientific perspective- you could kiss a guy and see if you like. You can try- try me for example but I-”

Armin was cut off by a pair of lips crashing hard on his, his eyes bulging from surprise. The moment was brief as the sound of the doorknob turning immediately captured Eren’s attention and he swiftly turned his head towards the door. Armin realized what was happening and he pulled his lips off Eren’s cheek and ducked into the bed, trying to hide his crimson face. He was burning from embarrassment as the door opened.

Standing in the doorway was an unamused Mikasa in her pink pajama top and pants, dotted with little Hello Kitty heads. She retained her normal neutral demeanor, but Eren could sense the anger coming from her direction.

“W-what is it?” Eren asked, his face flushed red. He winced when he realized his voice cracked as he asked the question.

“Cookies.” Mikasa replied as she strolled over to the bed to grab the half-eaten plate. Her angry aura disappeared to Eren’s surprise as she glanced over him and Armin. She grabbed the plate and left just as fast as she arrived. Eren swore he saw her smirking as she left. 

Once he was sure she was gone, Eren tapped his friend on his shoulder. “She’s gone, ‘Min. We’re safe!”

Armin only whimpered in reply, exhausted by the roller coaster of emotions he was experiencing for the evening. Content with surviving the close encounter, Eren returned to his video game.

Both he and Armin were completely unaware of the pair of chocolate lip prints on Eren’s cheek. Neither knowing that Mikasa saw them either.

\---

“What brought out Jean’s drama llama today?” Marco wondered aloud as Eren accompanied him back to the dorm.

Eren shrugged his shoulders since his guess was as good as Marco’s. With a major as frustrating as journalism combined with Jean’s temperament, trying to find the source of his anger was like asking for the unhealthiest food at the college cafeteria. Even the staff would have no idea which direction to point in.

“I’m going to guess his English Composition class again.” It was Jean’s least favorite class and it coincidentally started about the same time Eren’s Anatomy class finished. It lined up perfectly in Eren’s mind.

Eren waited by the entrance to their dorm as Marco waved his student ID a few times in front of the building’s sensor, opening the door. He gestured for his freckled friend to enter, partially out of kindness and partially for the opportunity to appreciate Marco’s form fitting pants. Jean and Eren both greatly loved those khakis.

“Why does he stay in journalism if it just frustrates him?” Marco interrogated his friend.

Again Eren shrugged his shoulders, but offered a smile along with it. “He likes it. I don’t get staying in a major that’s makes you bitch to your two best friends every day but here we are.”

“Yeah, here we are…” Marco’s voice trailed off as focused his eyes on the ground. Eren noticed the serious expression on his face but it faded when Marco realized he was in view. “Anyways, I’ll catch up with you later. We gotta cheer Jean up though.”

“Planning on it.” Eren agreed as he played with a devious idea in his mind. Marco nodded before walking into the elevator to go to his floor. Stealing one last glance at his friend’s butt, Eren strolled to the stairwell as he plotted, careful not to lose his footing as he climbed. While he was pretty used to his leg, the stairs could prove tricky sometimes. Despite Marco unintentionally planting the idea, it had grown in ways that left Eren blushing and excited.

He booked it up to the next floor. Perks of having the handicap room meant his room was right next to the stairwell and he paused for a moment to retrieve the room keys from his pocket. He read the whiteboard Jean had placed outside their door and snorted at Connie’s latest suggestion for a prosthetic leg: rocket launcher leg. The whiteboard was one of Jean’s better ideas.

The room looked messier than when he left in the morning, if that was even possible. Eren let out a sigh and tossed his backpack to the corner of the room. He was done with schoolwork for the day and he was infinitely thankful for that. Mikasa’s pink Hello Kitty fan that she had given the boys silently faced Eren, almost convincing him to it on. He’d need as much as heat as he could get though so he left it off. Checking his watch, Eren had some time until Jean returned and before he needed to enact his nefarious plan.

Taking his time, Eren lazily gathered up the loose clothing he recognized as his or Jean’s and threw them into the hamper in the corner. Armin had kindly left his in a lovely pile by his bed so it wasn’t an eyesore. Next he picked up the shoes scattered about the floor and hid them in his and Jean’s shared wardrobe. With the floor in an acceptable state, he dropped his pants in the middle of the floor and tossed Jean’s borrowed hoodie onto the two twin beds they had pushed together and shared. He dropped his boxers, confident Armin would not be coming home before Jean.

For the first part of his plan he dug through his packed wardrobe and pulled out Jean’s old track jersey, a parting gift he took from the high school. Eren flipped the jersey around smiled fondly the white six emblazoned on the back of the red and black jersey. His heart ached a bit at the memories of competing with Jean back in middle school, something he couldn’t do anymore. His hands fell to his side, gently touching the edge of his prosthetic leg.

Eren had come to terms with not being able to sprint anymore a long time ago, but it still didn’t bite back his desire to run up to his friends or even his boyfriend any less. He dreamt of it and wished for it, but it simply was something he could not accomplish anymore.

Shoving those thoughts back into his mind, Eren slammed the doors to bring himself back to reality. He had a plan to cheer Jean up and that required his focus. He quickly tossed his shirt into the hamper and slipped the jersey on. It hung loose around his chest and hugged his sides nicely, the back resting over his two round cheeks. Eren looked over his shoulder and turned his backside towards Armin’s full length mirror to gage the results himself.

“Perfect.”

With the first part complete, he got on his knees and began to dig under the cavern that was their bed. Most of their stuff had been stored successfully in a maze-like arrangement underneath their shared bed, with only him or Jean being able to navigate it. Behind their packed pots and pans, and next to the box Jean refused to let anyone open was Eren’s goal. He pulled out a locked away smaller nondescript box out and quickly opened it. Inside was the bubblegum pink vibrating dildo he was seeking. Placing the gaudy pink remote on the nightstand, Eren grabbed the toy and stuffed the box back under the bed.

“Thank you ‘Kasa,” Eren mumbled as he opened a drawer and removed a tube of lube.

Pushing the comforter aside, Eren climbed on the bed and laid on his stomach as he glanced at his alarm clock. He had more than enough time to get prepared. However the judgmental eyes of Hello Kitty almost persuaded him not to.

He flipped himself over, placing the vibrator next to the pillow his head was resting on so it was easily within in reach when the time called for it. Reaching blindly over his head for the nightstand, Eren managed to only knock the lamp off the desk before grabbing the lube. Giving the tube a good squeeze, a generous amount of the slick liquid poured into his waiting palm. Eren took a little onto his index finger, spreading his legs a little further apart, he started rubbing the cool liquid around his entrance. Initially shivering at his own touch, his body started to respond and more blood started flowing south.

A soft sigh escaped his mouth as he teased his entrance, his finger slowly slipping in and out. He brought his other hand closer and he ran two fingers through the lube, coating both. His index finger continued going in at a steady pace, gradually getting deeper. The further in he went, the more ragged his breaths became and the more his cock stirred.

He desperately wanted to wrap his hand around his dick, but he fought off the desire with thoughts of what Jean would soon be doing to him. His boyfriend knew all his favorite spots and how to make Eren putty in his hands. While it fought off his desire to rub himself, it aroused him more and more. Eren moaned loudly when his second finger entered him.

“Fuck…”

Bringing the remainder of the lube to his entrance, Eren started to scissor himself to loosen up more. Finally giving into his desires, he wrapped his free hand around his dick and slowly pumped as he loosened himself more and more. He lost himself in the slick sounds as he savored the pleasure.

Eventually remembering the task at hand, he reluctantly pulled away from his dick and grabbed the vibrator. He was about to coat the toy in lube when he recalled something important.

“Oh shit.” He reached into the pillow and pulled out a condom. God bless emergency condoms, another good idea of Jean’s.

Grabbing one corner of the wrapper in his mouth and holding on as best he could with his slick hand, he tore the package open by turning his head. He slipped the condom over the dildo skillfully before coating it in a generous amount of lube, and placing it by his entrance. Following the same pace he set earlier, the vibrator steadily pushed itself inside him. 

Despite being careful, the pink vibrator brushed against his prostate, and he kicked his legs as he groaned loudly, his prosthesis knocking the comforter off the bed. Eren pulled the toy back a little bit and slowly readjusted himself so he was sitting on his legs. Proud and shiny from the lube, Eren’s aching cock bounced in the air with every small movement, while he could feel the dildo resting in him. Quick, short breaths escaped him as he glanced at the clock once more. Jean would be arriving soon and he still had to get in the perfect position.

Gradually he got off the bed, taking his time to make sure _nothing_ brushed against his ass or the vibrator. He cleaned up the mess he made on the bed and hid the supplies in the drawer. He also hobbled over to the door, double-checking he locked it earlier. It was awkward to move around with something shoved up his ass, and adjusting for both that and his prosthetic leg had him falling on several occasions, the last one found himself leaning on Armin’s neatly made bed for support. With only a little further until his bed, Eren jumped in fright when he heard the knob to the room turn.

“Of course it’s locked.” Jean sounded as excited as Eren had imagined, which only made Eren even more proud of himself for his little scheme. Unable to get to his bed on time, he opted to pose where he was at: right on Armin’s bed.

He placed both his hands on the mattress for support and leaned over the bed, just barely. He made sure Jean’s jersey rested on his butt, ruffling slightly just above his cheeks. The bright pink dildo stuck proudly out his ass, while his dick remained fully erect, dibbling precome over the comforter. Even with numerous emotions coursing through his body, he put on his best Jean-killing smolder and faced the door.

As he heard a key go into the lock, another voice made itself apparent. “Eren walked back with me, so he should be here. Did he go out?”

Marco.

_Fuck_.

\---

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” Jean stared at his coffee cup, then to Eren, and back to the coffee cup. He needed as many distractions to keep him from staring at the door to coffee shop next to campus. “What if he has the wrong address?”

As much as Eren enjoyed watching Jean unravel at the seams, this was an entirely different situation from their usual banter and occasional shenanigans. Jean’s stern and calm façade had all but disappeared in his crushing nervousness. “There’s only one coffee shop by the university, babe.”

“I know but he’s already late.” Jean clicked a button on his phone. He glanced at the time on his phone for a split second before clicking the device off for the umpteenth time.

“By five minutes.”

“Exactly!” Jean only seemed vindicated by Eren’s response.

Heaving a sigh, Eren reached across the table and grabbed Jean’s shaky hands. Jean’s jittery motions ceased when Eren curled his hands around Jean’s. “He’ll get here when he gets here. You both want to see each other. Remember how excited he was when you spoke on the phone the first time?”

“Yes.”

“Then hakuna your tatas.” Eren brought Jean’s hands to his mouth, kissing them lightly. “He’ll be here any minute, so try to relax.”

“Hot chocolate for Marco?” A cheery voice called out. Both Eren and Jean turned their heads to find a lanky kid with freckles retrieving the cup. He looked lighter than Eren had remembered, but just as lanky as when he left. It struck Eren as weird that he actually did not look much different from when he had left.

“Do you have the pumpkin spice latte for Michael too?” Eren couldn’t hear what the lady said back but Marco’s voice also wasn’t as deep as it was on the phone.

He turned around at the counter, leaning on the edge with his arms crossed. Eren followed his gaze to the bathroom where a line had built up. Grumbling customers were either impatiently tapping their feet, checking their phones and watches, or yawning. Marco ran a hand through his wavy, dark hair.

_Cute._

Before he could evaluate his old crush anymore, he dared to glance at Jean and found the same puzzled look he had just a few moments earlier. Neither got up from the table as they tried to understand what was going on.

The lady at the counter returned with another cup, giving it to Marco. Why did he need two drinks? Having retrieved what he needed, Marco walked over to an empty table and set the drinks down before strolling over to the bathroom. He cut past all the people without mumbling so much as an “excuse me” or a “sorry”, only to stop at the door and start knocking on it. “Marco, I got our drinks. Come on.”

Eren looked back at Jean as his boyfriend’s face went from a look of confusion to a look of realization.

“Holy shit that’s Mick.” The brief moment of astonishment faded as Jean groaned. “Why is that asshole here?”

“Who?”

“Little Bodt. He was a constant pain in the—Hello.”

Surprised by Jean’s reaction, he looked back towards the bathroom. His mouth almost hit the floor when he saw the person who emerged from, now completely understanding Jean’s sudden reaction. Whereas Michael left Jean and Eren confused, Marco left them breathless.

How things had changed from the last time Eren had seen Marco before he moved away. The skinny, freckled kid that Eren had befriended through Yu-gi-oh, camped with for Boy Scouts, and did science projects with had more than just filled out during his missing years. Their lanky friend had grown more than Jean and gained muscles in places Eren didn’t even know he had. He retained his soft gaze and dark brown hair that parted in the middle of his forehead but now he had an undercut. Eren was incredibly thankful that freckles still dusted his cheeks and only served to make his smile glow more. Where puberty had been generous to Eren and Jean both, Marco had been truly blessed by genetics.

“Sorry!” Marco mumbled to the crowd, his brother rolling his eyes. Michael pointed him towards their table, practically shoving his older and taller brother away from the miffed patrons.

“Don’t apologize. You said it yourself, ‘I gotta look perfect for Jean.’” Michael teased, grinning devilishly.

“I did not-” Marco defended himself, but the look of disbelief from his brother cut him off. “Say those exact words.”

“Of course you didn’t, lover boy.”

“Michael!”

“Marco!”

Eren and Jean both started giggling at the scene in front of them, attracting the attention of the bickering brothers. For Jean it was reminiscent of watching the two grow up together, yet they never seemed to change, while Eren thought back happily on his fights with Mikasa. Fights he never won.

When Marco finally realized who was laughing at him, his face turned several shades darker, almost completely hiding his freckles. Michael had a cocky grin momentarily before he started to mimic his brother.

“Hey, Marco. Hey, Mickl,” Eren waved them over. The Bodt brothers looked at each other, and Marco’s little brother whispered something into his ear.

Marco’s blush only grew deeper as he slapped his brother on the back of his head. “Michael!”

“What? The hot guy knows my name so I wanna know his!” Michael complained, a bit louder than he intended. Now Eren and Jean were the ones blushing.

“This is Eren, _my boyfriend_ , you little weasel,” Jean introduced. A little shiver ran down Eren’s spine at the thought. Jean rarely ever said that aloud to strangers so strongly. If they weren’t in a coffee shop he might’ve rewarded Jean right there. Michael almost seemed saddened by the fact, almost.

“Michael Bodt, but you can call me Mick. A pleasure.” Michael offered his hand to Eren. Eren took it and was surprised by the firm handshake, almost a little too rough.

“Eren Jaeger.”

“At least Jean has good taste still. Don’t know what you see in him though.” Michael stated, ignoring the icy stare from Eren’s boyfriend.

“I don’t know why your family keeps you around either, you little shit,” Jean grumbled.

“Because we legally have to until he graduates.” Marco shook his head.

“Two more years until freedom!” He cheered.

“Two more years until more college payments,” a stern voice complained. The boys looked at a pair of older folks walking over. The taller, paler man shook his head at the thought of more payments. The shorter, stouter, freckled woman laughed a little at his pain. She had wavy dark hair similar to Michael’s, while her husband had straighter lighter hair, almost like Marco’s except for the color. It didn’t take much for Eren to assume they were the Bodt parents.

Both parents were dressed to impress. Marco’s father wore the same formal clothes as Marco and his mom wore a flowery black dress. She was adorned with a pair of elegant earrings, a multitude of rings, and a big silver cross on his neck. The fact Eren did not hear her coming came as a surprise to him.

“Hello, Mr. Bodt and Mrs. Bodt.” Eren noticed Jean’s quivering had returned as he formally greeted the two. 

“Ms. Donati.” Marco’s mom corrected. Jean was very much a deer in caught in headlights. Tension was palpable in the air until Mr. Bodt came forward and embraced Jean.

“Oh my God, Jean how you have grown. Is that bleach in your hair?” 

“Ye-yeah.”

“It suits you. Don’t you agree?”

Marco’s mom’s smile faltered briefly before she shrugged. Something seemed peculiar about her but Eren could not place a reason for the thought. “If he wants to gray sooner, why not?”

“Mom…” Marco eyed her warily but Jean skillfully ignored it.

Eren cleared his throat abruptly and Marco’s parents finally took notice of him. “Hi, I’m Eren.”

This caught both parents off-guard as they stared at him, as if rearranging a puzzle before coming to a solution. “Carla’s son?”

“You knew my mom?” Now Eren was the confused one.

“Oh my gosh you’ve gotten so big!” Ms. Donati embraced Eren without warning and almost wrung all the air out of his lungs. “You look so handsome and healthy.”

“We knew your parents, yes.” Mr. Bodt supplied an answer, extending his hand. His handshake was much less powerful but just as firm as Michael’s. “Your father delivered both our boys. I’m glad to hear he’s doing better now.”

“You talk to my dad?” Eren remained just as confused.

“Yes, and Jean’s as well.” Both boys exchanged worried looks before staring back at Mr. Bodt. His friendly demeanor remained despite revealing that information. “I was going to wait a little before telling Marco, but if you’re ever need of tune-up for your leg please stop by my new clinic in town.”

Mr. Bodt pulled out his wallet and quickly removed a business card. He flipped it over and wrote some information before handing it to Eren. He looked over the card and noticed the address had been crossed and a new one written on the back. The most useful piece of information was orthopedic doctor written on the card.

“You’re working in Sina?” Marco questioned.

“Yes. But I think we should get going. Come along, Mick. Let Marco catch up with his friends.”

Michael crashed into Marco and gave him a tight hug, which Marco gladly returned. He looked at Jean awkwardly before doing the same to him, almost choking the life out of him. Jean appeared completely shocked by that gesture. Next Michael looked at Eren and offered his hand, which he took, only to get pulled into another suffocating hug. When he started to linger on Eren, Marco jabbed him on his side and he let out a cute meep before scurrying over to his parents.

Both adults waved before leaving the shop and all three boys alone. They gladly returned to their unoccupied table before conversation started to flow once more.

“So Jean, when did you dye your hair?” Marco wondered. Most people asked that as an icebreaker, one of Jean’s biggest pet peeves, yet Marco’s curious question seemed to come from a different angle. 

Eren recognized Marco had a different fascination with his hair. His eyes had constantly been straying to his hair when they weren’t scanning Jean’s features. Almost as if he were just as enamored with the hair as he was with Jean’s face. 

It was refreshing.

It was one friend catching up on a chapter of his best friend’s life that he missed.

It was simply Marco.

“It’s a long story but like right after you left…”

\---

Eren’s smolder came crashing down in a wave of panic that swept through his body. As the lock clicked and the knob began to turn, he leapt onto the bed and rolled himself into Armin’s yellow polka-dotted blanket. The wall stopped his rolling body as the door opened, leaving him in a blanket burrito. His new problem was that he was face down on his best friend’s pillow, on his best friend’s bed, wrapped in his best friend’s favorite blanket leaking precome all over it. Armin was going to kill him if embarrassment didn’t first.

He craned his neck so he could glimpse at the two people coming in, thankfully still facing each other. He almost groaned at the sight of a giant bulge in the blanket right where his ass would be. If not for the fact he was on his stomach, it would be assumed he was sporting a big case of morning wood. Trying to be sneaky before the other two could see him. He wiggled like a worm and jumped, bouncing on the bed and onto his side, narrowly avoiding hitting the dildo against the bed.

He was momentarily safe.

“The hell? Eren?” Jean called out, coming further into the room. He quirked an eyebrow at the clean-but-not-so-clean state of the room. His bedding was on the floor, but all his scattered clothes from the morning were gone. Jean absentmindedly gathered the discarded blanket and threw it back on the bed, finally turning around and catching his boyfriend rolled up in Armin’s blanket. A tinge of jealousy crawled into his chest as he tried to figure out why Eren was on Armin’s bed.

“Hi.” Eren choked out, his voice a little clouded with lust.

“Uh, what are you doing in Armin’s bed?”

He could feel Jean judging him for his current situation, however he couldn’t let his boyfriend know the truth. Not while his old crush and their mutual friend walked over, clueless to what he had ruined. Marco gave him his best smile as Eren feigned being tired. He let out a fake yawn.

“Was napping… Until you barged in.”

“Oh did we interrupt you?” Marco cringed at the thought.

_You bet your freckled ass you did._

“Is that why you didn’t reply my texts?” Jean searched the floor for Eren’s discarded pants. He quickly retrieved the phone and saw the missing text notifications. “Of course.”

“It’s alright. What happened today?” Marco asked the question that had been eating at both his and Eren’s minds.

“Oh, yeah. That.” Jean let out a heavy breath and took a seat on his giant bed. He patted a spot next to him for Marco, while Eren simply rolled over and faced the two. This was gonna be a long story if Jean was being courteous. “So my teacher, Professor Go Fuck a Cactus, decides that the term paper due in like three weeks needs to be done sooner so he can…”

Eren’s attention was being sapped by vibrator, slowly getting pushed further into his ass and getting dangerously close to his prostate. He attempted to shift further back to get comfy and free one of his arms but only succeeded in driving the toy further in. He quickly bit his lower lip to mute the moan but it came out as a groan. Jean and Marco gave him a sideways glance.

“Uh, is my story boring you?”

“No?” Eren replied with a worried smile. A scowl found its way onto Jean’s face as his displeasure with Eren was becoming more and more clear. This was not how his plan was supposed to go.

“Whatever. Anyways, so of course I start to complain…”

Even with his best efforts, Eren simply could not follow the story with the vibe in him. He continued to wiggle as stealthily as he could until he succeeded in freeing an arm. A victory song briefly chimed in his brain as he began celebrate until he realized a dark spot was starting to appear on the front of the blanket, suspiciously at crotch level. Oh he was gonna die today from humiliation, a pissed off boyfriend, or a furious best friend. At least he lived a good life.

“…so now I have two weeks to write about Zebra fucking since I have to prove him wrong.”

Eren was also going to need a cliffnotes version of the conversation from Marco when this situation had passed. He glanced over and once again saw the judgmental eyes of the Hello Kitty fan, the asshole.

“Well, I believe in you, Jean.” Marco gave Jean the most innocent and supportive smile that he always managed to muster. Jean rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. A light blush colored his cheeks, and Eren would’ve too if not for the fact he was already incredibly flushed. Marco had a smile that could charm a lion. It was both Jean and Eren’s weakness too.

While both boys were distracted with talking to each other, Eren used the opportunity to stick his free hand back into the blanket burrito. He tried to move dick to a different position, but it was difficult given how turned on he was. Between the vibe, his captive audience, and the risk of being caught, his cock quite unwilling to move. After several more attempts he managed to get his dick caught on a fold in the polka-dotted futon and away from making another dark spot.

He was safe.

“So what did you want to tell us?” Jean inquired as Eren jumped back into the conversation, momentarily enjoying his reprieve.

Jean arose from his bed to grab a drink from their minifridge. Marco took notice of the Hello Kitty fan near Eren’s bed and instantly brightened up. “Oh yeah. Do you mind if I turn on the fan? “

“Go ahead.” Jean waved his hand.

“How do I… oh there’s the remote.”

Eren’s perked at those words. His eyes followed Marco as he picked up the pink remote that he had left out on the nightstand earlier.

Shit.

“Remote?” Jean turned around, confused.

“It’s stuffy in here. Can I put it on high?”

“Sure.”

“Please no.” Eren whispered into the pillow.

“I wanted to say that I’m engaged!” Marco announced as he put the remote to the highest setting.

Eren went wide-eyed as the toy came to life.

\---

“You look handsome.” Eren commented as his boyfriend tucked in his button down shirt. His only button down shirt.

“I’m always handsome.” Jean retorted with a cocky grin. Eren shrugged and kissed him on the cheek.

“Let’s go. Marco’s waiting on us.”

Jean interlaced his fingers with Eren’s and prepared to leave the dorm, when the door suddenly opened to reveal Armin. He slinked into the room and dropped his backpack onto the floor. He didn’t acknowledge his friends as he simply crashed onto the bed. Both boy exchanged worried glances but decided to leave Armin be. It wasn’t unusual for him to just come home and crash after a long day of classes after all. They had a triple date and could catch up with him later.

Finally having free time after the rush of the first two weeks of was splendid. Both boys preferred spending it with each other, but Marco extended them an invitation to meet the group of friends that adopted him after he moved to Jinae. Food and friends sounded like a great use for their time.

Both boys bantered with each other until they arrived at the restaurant, finding Marco waving at them from the entrance. Standing next to him was a girl with dark hair and two pigtails resting on her shoulders. She was almost a full head shorter than Marco and the height difference was as amusing to Eren as it was cute.

“Hey, Marco.” Both boys greeted.

“Jean, Eren, please meet my girlfriend Mina. Mina, these were the two I was telling you about.” Marco introduced. The black haired girl turned to face the boys and her eyes widened.

“Oh,” she was momentarily shocked before regaining her composure. Marco gave a nervous smile as she stuck her hand out to the boys. “Sorry. When he said Jean and Eren I was expecting a boy and a girl.”

Eren rolled his eyes, used to the mistake by now, not that it made him feel any better. Leave it to his boyfriend to take advantage of the moment. “Told ya Eren is a girl’s name.”

“So help me God Kirschtein you will be sleeping on the floor tonight.”

Mina chuckled at the brief exchange, returning the air to a more familiar and fun feeling. Jean and her exchanged few words as Marco led the group back to the table he reserved.

Eren carefully watched all of Marco’s movements as he took the lead. He still chose to wear slim pants that highlighted his legs in a way that sent Eren’s mind to all the wrong places. If Jean wasn’t busy interacting with his best friend’s girlfriend he’d likely be admiring the view too. Eren had hoped he’d grown out of his childish crush but the last few weeks only brought it back stronger than ever. He’d feel a lot worse about it too if Jean wasn’t also in the same boat.

Eventually they found a big booth with a couple already occupying one side of it. They seemed to notice their friends returned and offered warm smiles that quickly fell when they noticed Eren and Jean. They exited the booth and offered their hands to the new boys.

Both were tall in their own right, the boy have a few inches on Marco and the girl reaching almost as tall as Eren. Where he had a buzz cut reminiscent of Connie’s, she had longer ginger hair and freckles that dusted her cheeks like Marco. Her hair was pulled back into a long ponytail.

“Hi, I’m Franz and this is my fiancé Hannah.” The guy offered a hand towards Jean.

“Pleasure. I’m Jean and this is my asshole boyfriend Eren.”

Eren swiftly punched him in the shoulder, causing Marco to chuckle.

“Isn’t Eren a girl’s name?” Hannah frowned, confused by the two in front of her.

Jean cackled at his boyfriend’s expense. “Those were my first words to him too.”

Rather than keep pressing his boyfriend’s buttons, Jean opted to go sit in the booth and drag Eren by the hand. He almost missed the sideways glances Franz and Hannah were giving them. Eren and Jean sat across from the happy couple, while Marco and Mina sat in between the pairs.

Eren grabbed the menu and began scanning it for food. He let out a small breath of relief when he saw the prices weren’t as bad as he was anticipating. “I’ll cover tonight.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Jean nodded and started looking over the menu. Eren caught Franz giving him a curious look. He shrugged and started going over his menu.

Once the waiter came and took their orders, conversation started off as polite and interesting. It was mostly Jean and Marco catching up on what happened after Marco moved back and how he met his friends and future girlfriend. The icy atmosphere further melted when the food arrived and people began to act more friendly. With Marco mediating the words, conversation flowed freely.

“So how’d you and Hannah meet?” Eren wondered. Franz’s smile fell as he recalled the moment, rubbing his chin as he thought about.

“I think it’s been 12 or 13 years now. She was the girl across the street whose pigtails I used to pull in class, at church, or wherever I could. We somehow became friends in middle school when I got the courage to talk to her.” Hannah nodded as she giggled at various moments. “One thing lead to another and we started dating in eighth grade. How about you two?”

Eren and Jean blinked simultaneously before glancing at each other and breaking out in laughter. Marco joined in as well, leaving his friends confused. Eren offered some form of explanation for them. “We met when I moved to Trost in the first grade. He said I had a girl’s name and we proceeded to fight for the next ten years.”

“I can vouch for that.” Marco laughed.

“And when did you two start dating?” Mina asked curiously.

“After he took me in when I ran away from home. He helped me through a hard point in my life.”

Eren smiled warmly at Jean, his eyes widening when Jean’s hand grabbed his. He relaxed as Jean started stroking his fingers over Eren’s knuckles.

“This was after Marco’s phase, right?” Franz followed up.

“His phase?” Jean quirked an eyebrow. Eren looked over at Marco who had suddenly lost the color to his skin. Mina shot a warning glance at Franz, who only missed it entirely.

“Yeah, after his gay phase with you.”

Eren could feel Jean tense up when his stroking stopped. “This happened after Marco had moved.”

“Oh, ok. I’m glad to hear.” Franz smiled.

After that question though, the friendly atmosphere began to chill once again. Thankfully it was not long until the check arrived. A forced smile remained on Jean’s face for the rest of the dinner, his hand squeezing Eren’s for constant reassurance until they left. They parted from their dinner companions with a strained politeness that Marco clearly noticed, offering Jean an apologetic smile when they shook hands. Jean’s feigned smile remained for his best friend, yet his eyes remained hard and cold when Marco looked into them.

His smile finally fell when they left and were out of earshot. Jean looked back to be sure before he let go of Eren’s hand, finally heaving a loud breath. “A phase. I was a phase.”

“That’s not true.” Eren quickly defended Marco, not the wisest idea at the moment. Jean shot him the annoyed look he was restraining for the entirety of the meal.

“Really? ‘Cause Marco didn’t correct him.” Jean spat. He was trembling from anger which Eren tried to prevent with a hug. “Not right now Eren, please.”

Eren heeded his request and let go. As unlikely as it was, Jean losing his cool was abnormal after they started high school. Even when Marcel picked on him, Eren harassed him, and his father reappeared at graduation, Jean rarely ever lost his stoic temperament. But now he was shaking and tears were forming at the edges of his eyes.

“Jean?”

“I was just a phase?!” Jean shouted as he stomped on a discarded beer can. He kicked the flattened metal into the street as his voice began to shudder like his body. “The nerve! I went through hell because of him! Everything that happened in high school was because… because of our relationship!”

Rather than try to interfere, Eren watched his boyfriend have a meltdown in front of him.

“Running away, keeping to myself, surviving on my own… and I _never_ told a soul that we dated. And he just goes and tells those assholes it was a phase?!” Clenching his fists, Jean turned to his boyfriend with tears finally streaming down his face. “I didn’t even tell you until I had to. What was I to him? JUST A PHASE!”

“Jean you don't know that.”

“Don’t I? He didn’t acknowledge shit. Was I just a strain on him until he moved?” Jean wiped at the tears, gritting his teeth as he started to sob. “I was just a phase to someone who I thought I loved.”

Eren carefully embraced him and hugged him tightly. Jean continued to cry into his shoulder, which only reaffirmed Eren’s desire to hold him tighter. Squeezing his boyfriend closer, he waited until he was done before proceeding to guide him back to their dorm. He mumbled supportive words as they approached the building, thankfully no one was in sight. “It’s ok, we can talk about it over ice cream. Does that sounds nice?”

“…yes.”

“Good.”

Eren rubbed his shoulder in an attempt to be as comforting as he could. It’d be up to Marco to soothe out the real damage when it was all said and done but Eren could have to manage in the meantime with Ben and Jerry’s. What he was not expecting was the dorm to be dark when he returned, as well as the familiar sound of sobbing. Eren flicked on the lights and found a shivering pile of blankets on Armin’s bed.

The familiar yellow polka-dotted futon also had Eren’s carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

“Armin?” Eren asked the blanket pile.

“I’m not here right now.” Armin’s voice was shaking as much as he was.

“What happened?” Eren tried to pull the blanket back but it tightened reflexively at his touch.

“Annie dumped me.”

It was gonna be one of those nights. Eren guided Jean over to their bed, gently letting him down. He walked over to the Wii that Armin had given them a while ago and quickly got Netflix running. He grabbed a drink from the fridge as well as his emergency ice cream tub from the freezer. He was prepared in case someone took his usual Ben and Jerry’s.

Finally he took his seat on his bed and started Ancient Aliens, his two roommates’ guilty pleasure. He threw a pencil at Armin to grab his attention, and succeeded in hitting the blanket. Armin eventually let the top of the futon down and revealed his frazzled hair and genuinely sad demeanor. Patting the spot next to him, Armin took the hint and relocated next to Eren. Eren remained between his two friends as they relaxed onto his shoulders for the evening, gladly being the support they needed. That’s what friends were for, and they were there when he needed them as well.

\---

Grateful for what was left of his reflexes, Eren rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into the pillow. The pink vibrator buzzed to life and reached his prostate, bringing what was left of Eren’s restraint crashing down and out onto Armin’s blanket. He wasn’t sure how loud he was, but he prayed the pillow was enough to muffle his loud moan. As he came down from his orgasmic high, the magnitude of what happened began to set in and his face felt like it was on fire. He couldn’t roll over without showing a massive dark spot. Instead he did his only option and slowly turned his head to face his boyfriend and Marco.

Jean looked confused and helpless, switching between staring at Eren and Marco. His face was crimson and his jaw was agape. A strained voice finally broke the silence. “You’re what, Marco?”

“Engaged to Mina.” Marco smiled nervously. He faced Eren and gave him a concerned look. “Are you ok?”

Eren remained silent for a little bit as he became painfully aware of the faint buzzing sounds coming from his ass. Despite having just came, the vibe still felt good and he used what self-control he had left to maintain a steady tone. “Just peachy. Are you?”

“What kind of noise was that?”

“Shock?”

Jean shot his boyfriend the dirtiest look he could muster. Yet, to his surprise, Marco just nodded along. 

“I know it’s sudden, but I think it’s time.” Marco explained before suddenly realizing something. “Hey, your fan isn’t working.”

“The remote’s… batteries… are dead…” Eren groaned out, earning the stink-eye from his boyfriend.

“Ah ok.” Marco turned off the remote, much to Eren’s joy, and he manually turned on the fan.

“So why now?” Jean asked.

“I talked it over with my mom and she thought it seemed right. We both get along, it’s been several years, and my parent’s already approve. So why not?” Marco explained, although Eren was not entirely convinced by his tone.

“Do you want to, though?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?” Jean crossed his arms, not believing his best friend. Now Marco began to frown at the accusation.

“Yes, really. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jean walked over with his soda, cracking the can open, and taking a sip. “Just checking you want this and not your mom.”

“I mean- yeah. I want this. It makes sense.”

“Just like your major.”

“What does that have to do with this?”

Eren groaned, not happy Jean was choosing this moment to have _that_ conversation.

“Nothing.”

“I don’t like your tone.” Marco narrowed his eyes, suddenly displeased with his friend. “I thought you’d both be happy for me!”

“We are- or we would if you’re actually happy with yourself.” Jean answered, his eyes softening.

Marco clenched fist before reaching into his backpack and removing a foil covered plate. “I made these for you since you had such a bad day. Enjoy them.”

Marco bolted for the door, bumping into Jean’s shoulder as he exited without so much as a goodbye. Eren remained on his stomach, carefully observing his boyfriend. As much as he wanted to admit it, Jean’s not so subtle affection for his ex reared its head at the wrong times. He sped out right after Marco, finally leaving Eren alone.

Taking the golden opportunity, Eren rolled out of the blanket burrito and almost over the edge. He pushed himself off the bed, his limbs shaking like noodles. It was awkward to move, especially with the dildo firmly up his ass. He observed the blanket in front of him and blushed at the mess he created. Armin was going to kill him. Jean’s jizz-covered jersey against his chest.

Walking over to their bed, he reached for some wipes when he heard the door handle begin to turn. Returning to his original plan, he stuck his ass out a little further, showcasing the bright pink dildo in it, as well as the jersey he was wearing. Finally, he topped it off by offering up another sexy devilish grin. The grumbling on the other side also confirmed his suspicions that it was indeed his boyfriend.

Jean entered with his face to the ground, looking slightly upset. Guessing it was either the engagement announcement, making Marco angry, or just his generally shitty day that was responsible for his current mood. Confident in tone, Eren called out to him, ready to improve his day.

“Jean.”

His boyfriend glanced up from the floor and his jaw dropped quickly at the sight in front of him.

Eren stood by Armin’s bed, his hands resting on his cheeks. Seeing Jean stunned in the entryway almost made going through that embarrassment worth it. Hunching his chest towards the bed (and his earlier spill), Eren stuck his ass out a little further and wiggled it for Jean. Jean’s breath hitched at the sight in front of him. “Holy shit.”

“Oh yeah, one more thing—”Marco turned into the entryway and paused when he saw Jean frozen in place and Eren posing by the bed. Eren’s eyes widened and his smile fell a little. 

He was finally caught.

“Uh, on second thought…”

Marco abruptly left the doorway and left his two friends where he found them. An annoyed sigh escaped Eren’s lungs and he slammed his face into the futon. A few seconds later he realized he landed in his come.

“I deserve this,” he complained into the bed. Jean still refused to move and only let out some choked breaths.

A door opened outside and someone stopped midstep down the hallway. “Looking good, Jaeger!”

“Thanks, Connie!” Eren retorted sarcastically from the sheets.

“Anytime!”

“Shut the goddamn door!” Eren snapped at Jean, finally getting his boyfriend to spin on his heels and lock the door.

“Is that what you were doing in the blanket?” Jean managed to ask.

“Yes.” Deciding that the universe had made its point perfectly clear, Eren rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “I just wanted to surprise you and make you feel better. But _someone_ clearly doesn’t think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s one of those days.” Jean shrugged his shoulders and tossed his jacket onto their shared bed. He took a seat next to Eren before surveying the damage. “You got a little something on your face.”

“I blame Marco.”

“Tell Armin that.”

Jean snickered at Eren’s loud groan. “Don’t even get me started on that.”

“Please don’t. But speaking of Marco, what do you think of the engagement?”

Without vibrations coursing through his body, he was able to process that idea more now. However the more he thought about it the more the thought sickened him. Marco was both the same and not the same whenever Eren hung out with him. He was the same freckled ray of sunshine that he remembered, but his choices were not the best. His friends were okay, his classes were visibly stressing him out even by college standards, and he hardly spoke about the bright side to things anymore.

“I don’t approve.”

“At least I’m not the only one.” Jean hummed in agreement.

“And it’s not because Mina is an asshat. She’s the best of the bunch. The timing is weird.”

“Yeah. And he clearly isn’t happy about the thought either.” Jean pointed out. He jumped to his feet and walked over to the minifridge where Marco had set down the plate of cookies. He grabbed two and returned to his boyfriend, passing him a cookie.

Eren took a bite and almost choked. He stared at the pastry and set it aside. Marco’s baking also was not as good as he remembered. “How do you know he isn’t happy?”

“That wasn’t his happy smile.” Jean clarified quickly.

“And what’s—”

“His happy smile is the one where his freckles hide in the wrinkle around his mouth when his lips goes as far as they can. And his eyes aren’t dead. It’s when they have that warm feeling that feels like hot chocolate on a cold day.”

“Or a campfire in the woods.”

“Or a hug in the dead of night…”

“Or a welcoming home after a 2am thunderstorm.”

Jean stopped his rambling and gazed lovingly at his boyfriend. “Or a stubborn asshole who ignores my texts.”

Eren cupped the side of Jean’s face and gave him an endearing look. “Or a vibrator in my ass.”

“That’s not the warm happy feeling I was going for.” Jean deadpanned.

“Well it might’ve been if you came back without Marco.” Eren stated, much to Jean’s dismay. “But can you please pull it out? I wanted to surprise you but Connie ruined the mood. Again.”

“He does that.” Kicking his shoes off, Jean repositioned himself so he was sitting cross-legged next to his boyfriend. “But Marco didn’t ruin the mood?”

Eren slapped a hand over his face as it turned red once again. “Kinda hard to ruin the mood when you got a vibrating dildo edging you. That freckled fuck is on the shortlist of people who’ve made me come.”

“I should be jealous. Should be, but I’m not. It’s just hilarious!” Jean hugged his sides as the gravity of the situation began to lift. He grabbed his sides to try and contain himself but he still fell backwards. “You’re also just spreading your jizz every time you touch your face.”

“ _I know_. And don’t laugh at me Jean Kirschtein!” Eren assured him, wiping his hand on the futon. It wasn’t like a little more was going to make it look any worse. “Probably scarred the good Christian boy.”

“Yeah, good Christian boy.” Jean rolled his eyes as sat back up and stared at his boyfriend.

Despite being annoyed, flustered, and discussing their best friend, the site of Eren laying in his jersey and covered in his own seed redirected Jean’s thoughts south once more. Being in the middle of the week and not having the amount of privacy they used to have meant he was more than a little pent up, and Eren’s earlier display fried his brain momentarily. Recalling the earlier moment only made his pants tighten further.

“Can you please get the vibe out of me?” Eren asked politely.

“Where did you even get that?”

“Mikasa.”

“What?”

“House warming gift.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Jean really wanted to know how that idea went through Mikasa’s brain but he couldn’t deny the plausibility of it. Her and Eren’s relationship was an enigma, even to him. Still, he had an opportunity and was going to use it. “Not sure I can.”

Eren’s eyes darkened as he met Jean’s gaze. “What?”

“Well, I don’t know. What’s in it for me, Jaeger?”

Eren’s eyes narrowed before a smirk began to form. “You got a problem I can help you with.”

“Really? I doubt that.” Jean shrugged, offering a condescending grin to his boyfriend. Eren pulled himself onto the bed, careful to avoiding putting his prosthetic in his mess. He placed his index finger on Jean’s chest and slowly dragged it straight down, stopping at the band of his jeans. The band snapped lightly back at Jean and Eren rested his hand on the giant tent bulging in Jean’s pants.

“I think we can make a… trade?” To further emphasize his point, he pressed down on the bulge. Jean breathed a slow but content sigh, stroking Eren’s ego a bit.

“You got a deal, Eren.”

Finally being granted permission, Eren changed positions. He got on all fours, his forearms and knees pushing into the bed, and sticking his ass firmly in the air. Jean opened his jeans and removed them, choosing to stay in his t-shirt and boxers. He leaned back as Eren crawled forward and placed his face next to his dick. “Someone’s excited.”

“Can’t help myself when you’re looking like that.”

“Well—”

Not interested in keeping the bantering going, Jean reached around and pressed the vibrator a little further into Eren. His boyfriend let out a loud ragged breath, finally able to have no restraint.

“Other direction, asshole.”

Pressing it further in, Jean cupped his ear to pretend he needed to hear better. “What’s that?”

“Other direction, _please_?” Eren practically begged.

Content with the situation, Jean started pulling the vibrator out gradually causing Eren let out low moans until Jean stopped. “Well? Get started.”

Eren nodded as he reached forward and pulled Jean’s boxers back slowly, smirking as Jean’s happy trail started getting thicker and lead him towards his prize. Jean’s cock sprung out and bounced back and forth in the air, finally coming to rest near Eren’s cheek. He shot his boyfriend one last playful smirk before tilting his head and running his tongue along Jean’s shaft. He took one tentative lick near the base before sliding his mouth along around the outside of Jean’s arousal.

Content with Eren’s progress, Jean started to pull the pink vibrator out once more, maintaining the same gradual pace from earlier. He could hear Eren’s soft gasps around his dick, only turning him on more. Feeling brave, he pushed the toy back in and out quickly. His boyfriend’s breath shuddered at the sudden pressure but still kept licking.

Deciding to up the ante, Eren started to play with Jean’s sensitive head. His tongue swirled around the tip of Jean’s dick, occasionally twitching when Jean dared to push the vibrator back in him. Eren’s cock started to come back to life, enjoying the pace Jean was carefully setting. Eren had just taken Jean’s dick in his mouth when the lock to their room clicked open, which neither heard.

Jean stared out into the room with a dazed look as he continued to play with the toy. Warnings began to appear in his clouded mind when he looked at the door to find Armin standing there. The blond ceased his movements when he realized what was going on before him. Jean stopped what he was doing, just as Armin left the room. He was too shocked to explain to Eren what happened before Armin opened the door again and quickly entered.

Eren practically growled in displeasure at Jean’s lack of movement until Armin cleared his throat. “Okay, so I’m not going crazy.”

Jean practically thrusted the rest of his dick into Eren’s mouth, narrowly avoiding hitting the back of his throat thanks to some quick maneuvering on Eren’s part. “Hey, Armin.”

“Hi guys.” Letting out an annoyed huff, Armin locked the door to their dorm and dropped his backpack next to Jean’s. He walked over to Eren and Jean’s bed and scowled at his roommates.

Jean’s panic momentarily disappeared when he realized a bizarre fact, Armin’s hair wasn’t long anymore. Armin had cut his hair so it’s length was somewhere between his and Eren’s hair. Whoever he had gone to had done a spectacular job as far as Jean was concerned. “Wow.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

“No, your hair. It’s good. Like, really good.”

Armin’s annoyed demeanor fell for a second and his face flushed red, despite the opposite positions they were in. “You think so?”

“Yeah. It looks great.”

“Oh, thanks. I thought that I needed— wait a second! Quit distracting me.”

Armin scowled again and pointed at the two.

“What are you two doing on my bed?”

“Stuff.” Jean was doing his best to keep a straight face, while Eren had the advantage of not being able to face his soon-to-be-former best friend. Although his ass was up in the air for everyone to see.

“What kind of stuff?”

“Sexy stuff.”

“Eren, get Jean’s dick out of your mouth and that ridiculous pink dildo out of your ass please.” Armin requested, covering his eyes to give his friend the tiniest modicum of privacy. 

Taking a hint, Eren pulled out a coughed a little bit. Jean quickly pulled his boxers up and pulled part of the futon to cover Eren’s nudity. He also quickly removed the pink dildo from Eren’s ass, causing Eren to gasp loudly. Armin’s face brightened up a little after that. “Okay.”

Armin uncovered his eyes and he glared at his two friends. It was then he noticed Eren’s mess. “Wait, did you cum on my bed?!”

“Eren did.”

Eren punched his boyfriend in the chest at the confession, displeased at being thrown under the bus. 

“Eren! What was the one thing I asked you to do?” Armin stared at his roommates, who were blushing furiously and staring at the ground like kids who were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “Really? Staining my favorite blanket with your semen.”

“One: please don’t call it that. Two: a little more won’t hurt. Three: I kinda forget to send the text message.” Eren rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. Finally he looked up from the floor and noticed what had caught Jean’s attention. Armin’s long hair was gone. “Holy shit your hair.”

His friend’s face flushed again once more as Eren got distracted by the new look. His reaction was almost identical to Jean’s and he agreed with his boyfriend, it looked good. And his dick seemed to agree to. “What about it?”

“Dude, it looks great. Hannah is gonna love it tonight!” Eren informed his friend, causing his friend to beam happily.

“You think?”

“Trust me, it looks great.” Jean started coughing at the accusation, however was unable to deny it.

“Okay, thanks.” Armin grimaced. “I forgot to ask though, how do you know her name?”

Eren’s face flushed even more. Now probably was not the best time to tell him and he was not about to risk it. “And I can vouch for Jean because he almost choked me when you walked in. He somehow got harder—”

“Eren!” Jean shouted, his voice cracking halfway through.

“TMI!” Armin fell onto their bed, hiding his face.

\---

“Why am I doing this?” Eren grumbled as he accompanied his best friend down the street.

“Do I really need to answer that? On top of fucking on all my stuff—”

“We didn’t fuck on your stuff.”

“On top of all that, and jizzing on my _favorite childhood blanket_ , you looked at my texts.” Armin scolded Eren.

Eren shrugged and kept walking with him. “You left your phone open.” He was infinitely thankful the pink vibrator was finally out of him.

“That’s not an invitation to invade my privacy.”

“Says the kid who keeps browsing my Facebook messages.”

“That was one night and we all were drunk!”

“That’s still the pot calling the kettle stainless steel.” Eren stated, acting miffed about having to babysit his friend on his first date since Annie.

“Pot calling the kettle black, Eren.” Armin corrected him, not that he cared.

“Whatever.”

Both arrived at the restaurant, a familiar and not so happy place for Eren. It was where Eren and Jean had met Marco’s friends almost a year ago. While the food had been tasty and good, the aftermath and awkward meeting meant that neither he nor Jean returned there often. Although he was a bit unhappy Armin wanted him there in case something went wrong, and he owed his friend for a long list of things that evening so he had no room to complain. At least he’d get to sit in his own place and just watch.

They quickly separated and Armin found a booth that was near the bar. Eren took a seat and waited for someone to bring him a menu. The menu arrived before Armin’s date showed so he lazily glanced over it until he found a drink that looked tasty and some appetizers to keep him preoccupied. Once he placed his order he looked back towards Armin and immediately choked on his spit.

Sitting across from his best friend was Marco’s friend Hannah.

“You ok?” The bartender asked, to which Eren slowly nodded.

He quickly pulled out his phone and sent a text to Jean. **Armin’s date is Marco’s friend**

Eren slid the phone onto the bartop as he squinted to make sure his eyes weren’t playing trick on him. It was definitely the same ginger girl he’d met and occasionally saw around Marco. His phone lit up a few minutes later.

**Franz’s fiancé?**

**That one**

This was a bit odder than he anticipated. Wasn’t she still dating Franz?

Eren carefully watched Armin over fries and soda, yet he was surprised his friend was having a good time. He laughed at her jokes, engaged her in discussion, and seemed like he was genuinely having fun. His boyfriend managed to confirm that Hannah was still engaged on Facebook with her boyfriend, so something about the entire thing did not sit well with Eren. As much as Armin probably wanted him to stay and walk him back, the date was going to be successful so he wasn’t needed. Eren flagged down a waiter for the bill. After his card was collected, he started putting on his jacket when a presence suddenly appeared next to him.

“Hello, Eren.” A cool voice greeted.

Eren sighed and plastered a fake smile on his face as he turned to find Hannah next to him. “Oh, Hannah. How are you?”

“I was enjoying myself until I saw you constantly looking at me during my dinner.”

So much for feigned politeness.

“Yeah, I was keeping an eye on my friend, Armin. Aren’t you engaged?” Eren bluntly asked. Hannah recoiled a bit at the question but recovered quickly.

“It’s complicated at the moment. I can date and do what I want so don’t get any weird ideas.” Hannah explained, not entirely convincing him. “But I’d rather you not tell Armin about that.”

“Didn’t you tell him that already?”

“I’m waiting for the right moment. I’ll be blunt though since that’s the only thing you seem to be.” Hannah officially dropped her façade. “I really like the boy and he likes me. If you even think about telling him and that happens to ruin anything going on here, I’ll be happy to end our mutual friend’s engagement.”

“Marco?” Eren was surprised that sudden mention.

“Yes and the whole farce that thing is.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Please, even you’re not that thick. That kid’s gayer than Marcel’s old blond buddy. Reiner was his name I think?”

“Why threaten Marco? You’re his friend!” Eren was still processing the revelation that Marco might have very well been gay, but that was something he’d have to discuss later.

“I’m his something alright. And I use him because if I go down, I’ll take him down which will take you down.”

“You’re making absolutely no sense.”

“You can’t be that dense. Let me say it in terms you might recall. His little phase with your boyfriend never ended. He still likes Jean. If something were to happen to me and all this falls, guess whose gonna get the blame? And if not you guys, I don’t know how Marco would deal with that kind of pressure. He’s been quite fragile since I’ve known him.”

Eren gave Hannah the iciest look he could when his card was returned to him. “You’re a bitch.”

“And you’re a filthy crippled faggot.”

“Nevermind, I take that back. You’re a cunt.”

Hannah’s eyes widened at the insult but Eren turned to leave before she could reply. He needed space to process what was going on. As soon as he left the restaurant he began to feel woozy. He hobbled along the sidewalk until he found a bush and threw up his dinner.

\---

One month was a long time for Eren to keep his thoughts and aggravation locked away. The only person who knew about the incident on Armin’s date night was Jean, and even he was only given limited details. Both Jean and Eren were in agreement that Marco had terrible choice in friends, especially Hannah. Eren only dared tell Jean that Marco probably still was gay, and that seemed to only validate Jean’s opinion of his friend. He didn’t tell him that it was Jean he was crushing on.

Neither dared to tell Armin about Hannah, who he claimed was his girlfriend only after two weeks of dating. As much as it aggravated both boys, their hands were tied as far as they were concerned. It was only a matter of time until they had to “meet” Hannah again, which would be an utter disaster. Eren could barely contain himself in conversation where she or her fiancé were mentioned. Armin thankfully had not told Marco yet and that was the greatest risk.

Approaching Marco about the matter was also out of the question. His engagement was still on, yet his attitude towards it never improved. He seemed sour and gloomy about his future prospects, but always mentioned that it seemed right and he was happy about. Admitting that through his feigned smile was probably the harshest punishment of it all for both Jean and Eren because they absolutely adored his smile. The real Marco smile.

While Jean had no idea about Marco’s crush, Eren did and it affected every way he now perceived Marco and Jean’s interactions. Every lingering touch, every present, every word was something Eren scrutinized, and even though he felt like should’ve been worried about it, he never did. Marco was still the same kid he grew up with: caring, compassionate, and always friendly with not only Jean, but also him. He should’ve been jealous, he should’ve been possessive, he should’ve been afraid of losing Jean to his exboyfriend, yet he felt none of this.

The only thing he felt towards Marco was fear. Fear his good friend was going down the wrong path, heading towards misery, and setting himself up for failure. He could’ve deprive himself of empathy for the boy who like Jean. In fact, his crush towards Marco only seemed to amplify over the previous month. So much so, that even Jean was occasionally giving him weird looks. Not that Jean had any room to complain with the affection he showered his previous lover in.

Instead he kept all those emotions and fears locked away. It felt wrong, but he couldn’t cause either of his good friends undeserved pain.

Jean knew something more was eating at Eren but couldn’t bring himself to confront him about it. At least he shared in Eren’s pain, if only a little of it.

When it felt like he was going to explode from the build-up, the universe surprised both of them the weekend before Thanksgiving Break.

A loud knocking at the asscrack of dawn startled Eren awake, quickly clinging to his boyfriend. Armin jumped up in his futon, now thoroughly cleaned, as well. Jean was the most anticlimactic by simply yawning. “Hello?”

“Jean? Eren? Armin? Someone?” A trembling voice called through the door. Eren woke up fast and let go of Jean, who leapt out of his bed and tried to run to the door. He managed to run into Eren’s prosthetic leg and go tumbling to the floor.

“Shit!” Jean called out as he crashed down. He quickly got back up and brushed his knees off.

Opening the door, Jean found a soaked and teary-eyed Marco waiting for him. “Jean…”

“Marco?”

His giant freckled friend quickly embraced Jean and hugged him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. Armin quietly got out of bed and turned on the light. Eren sat up but was unable to go over to his friends.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? And why are you drenched?” Jean asked carefully, quickly going into best friend mode.

“I fucked it up. I fucked it all up…” Marco repeated over and over again as Jean lead him to a chair.

A crack of lightning lit the night sky and confirmed Jean sinking suspicion that it was indeed storming.

“What did you mess up, Marco?” Eren asked, unintentionally yawning in the middle of it.

However when Marco looked at Eren, he started sobbing again. “How do you not hate me? Hannah said you knew…”

At the mention of Hannah’s name Eren’s blood ran cold, and the color drained from his face. The mention of her name also caught Armin’s attention now.

Knowing where this was going, Eren gave his best neutral expression. “Because I can’t hate you. You’re my best friend. You too Armin. I love you guys too much to hate you and I’m so sorry…”

“What are you talking about Eren?” Armin asked, confused by the sudden statement.

“Marco what happened?” Jean questioned again.

“I’m such a terrible person.” Marco practically broke down. “I kept it locked away for so long, when I knew it was all a lie. I’m such a terrible person!”

“No you’re not Marco! I should’ve told you sooner. I should’ve told Armin too…” Eren frowned. Now Armin was giving him a cautious look.

“Will somebody tell me what going on? I’m getting kind of freaked out.” Armin glanced between his three silent friends.

Jean walked over to the door and locked it, before turning to face the people in the room. “Marco, change into dry clothes. Everyone like hot chocolate?”

The other three boys were now giving him a puzzled look, but Marco did as he was told and changed out of his soaking jeans and shirts. Jean heated water in the microwave, and fetched Marco an oversized hoodie to wear. Armin kept his cautious look as Jean prepared all these things in silence before returning with four cups of hot chocolate. Each boy took theirs before sitting in a makeshift circle.

When it was all said and done, Jean glanced at his phone and gave a half-hearted smirk. Eren poked him in the shoulder. “Why are you smiling? This is serious.”

“I’m sorry, I just find it funny.”

“What’s funny?”

“This shit always happens at 2 in the fucking morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amputee!Eren came back to me with a vengeance. I still have respect for anyone who can write this much consistently.
> 
> The story came back to me over the last few months and was hashed out in my free time. Viella's art is still fantastic and this AU is still my favorite thing in the world. Thank you for introducing this precious thing into the world and letting me use your art for it.
> 
> I kinda followed the format form my last chapter but kept it more Eren centric, so next go around it's gonna be focused on Marco. I know the original AU was erejean but this story is going down the EJM route so be prepared for that next time, probably. Don't know when it'll happen but that's where this story is heading. If people complain about it, they have the first chapter that can read on its own as and erejean thing. So expect this to keep going, maybe with small vignettes appearing at some points because there are some scenes I want to do that I just can't tie into the main portion. Like Eren getting his running prosthetic or Eren and Jean moving out to college because that's an adventure in fuckery.
> 
> Speaking of which, this was my first time writing anything close to smut, so feel free to tell me how good or bad I did at that. It's something I want to improve on and I'm curious how it went over.
> 
> Thanks as always for kudos, likes, comments, and critiques. I greatly appreciate feedback and I seriously read what everyone says. It greatly encourages me and other authors too.
> 
> Feel free to find me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/) and send me any asks or critiques as well. Everything is appreciated.  
> Also check out Viella's [tumblr](http://viella-art.tumblr.com/) if for some reason you haven't come across this gem. The art is beautiful and she had many other Au's that are equally fantastic!
> 
> Yes. Michael Bodt is based on Mick from AtSiT.  
> And if anyone happens to read Legacy, I swear that's next on my list! Have a great day!


	3. Fix You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With five years of carefully constructed lies finally falling all around him, Marco breaks down as he's forced to confront his friends, family, and fiance with the truth: he's as straight as a circle. While he expects them all to shun him, instead he finds out who his true friends are and he can start living a life that makes him happy.
> 
> Or the story of Marco Bodt accepting himself with help Eren, Jean, and Armin. Many parts betrayal, poor life choices, angst, fluff, and dumb humor in between. So the usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
>  When you get what you want, but not what you need  
> When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
> Stuck in reverse..._
> 
> _Lights will guide you home  
>  And ignite your bones  
> And I will try to fix you_
> 
> -Fix You by Coldplay

“This shit always happens at 2 in the fucking morning,” Jean chuckled, but it was an empty gesture. There was no humor or anything to take light in the situation he and his friends were in. Lightning cracked once more outside to provide the extra dramatic flair for the boys in room B-104.

Eren sat upright in his and Jean’s shared bed, pulling the blanket tightly over his leg and stump. His hands gripped the fabric so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Armin mimicked his friend and pulled his pink and yellow polka dotted futon around his shoulders. His now short blond hair had several cowlicks along the sides and created a bird’s nest. He sat across from Eren on his own bed.

Jean sat in between the beds with his back to the window. He wanted to face his sobbing best friend. He was dressed in his comfiest grey sweatpants and oversized college t-shirt that he snagged from some unknown club for free. A steaming cup of hot chocolate sat in his lap, his pale fingers wrapped around the handle to stabilize the mug and not burn himself. All three boys were facing the cause of this late night/early morning meeting.

Opposite of Jean and the focus of everyone’s attention sat Marco. The poor boy was hunched over in nothing but his boxers and an oversized hoodie that Jean tossed his way when he entered their dorm drenched and in the midst of a breakdown and thunderstorm. As much as the boys loved a water-soaked Marco, it was better for Marco’s health to change into dry clothes. The sopping pile of clothing was discarded right next to Eren’s carelessly knocked over prosthetic leg.

“I fucked it all up…” Marco repeated like a mantra, slowly moving his body back and forth. His hands also gripped a mug of hot chocolate like his life depended on it.

“No you didn’t. I just let it get too far,” Eren’s eyes bounced from Marco to Armin and finally to the floor where they remained. “I’m so sorry.”

“Eren there’s nothing you could’ve done better,” Jean reassured his boyfriend, however it did little to change his demeanor.

“What do you mean? Will someone please tell me what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” Armin’s concern was apparent, and it only made Marco’s heart wrench more.

Jean glanced between Eren and Marco to see who would explain to Armin what was going on, but neither seemed up to the monumental task. So he handled it with all the grace and finesse of Sasha with a bag of Doritos. “Your girlfriend is a lying manipulative bitch.”

“Jean!” Eren and Marco reacted, quickly bringing them into the conversation.

“What? It’s true.”

Marco glanced over at Armin to gauge his reaction and found his expression to be a mix of concern, confusion, and disdain. That last remark definitely soured his mood though. “What does she have to do with this?”

Eren’s lungs audibly deflated as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. “ _Everything_.”

“What? Nothing,” Marco corrected. Jean and Eren quickly froze solid as their freckled friend gave a look of confusion.

“Then what’s the issue?” Armin furrowed his brows. His gentle blue eyes began to ice over as he glanced at his two roommates. “And why are you guys talking about my girlfriend like that? I thought you liked her.”

“Fuck no,” Jean admitted bluntly. Eren choked and started coughing. Unimpressed with his boyfriend’s reaction, Jean merely shrugged. “It’s already out in the open, Eren. We’re not hiding it anymore. But Marco, you explain first and then we will.”

Marco nodded slowly before setting his steaming cup of hot chocolate on the floor. He let out a deep breath before wiping his hands across his freckle-spattered face, preparing to go into what caused this evening to become so lively.

“The engagement is off.”

\---

The aroma of freshly melted chocolate floated from the downstairs kitchen to the upstairs bedrooms and ensured that the youngest member of the Kirschtein household was up and out of his bed. What it couldn’t guarantee was that he’d be dressed in time for the arrival of his father’s best friend and family. While waiting for the brownies to cool, Mrs. Kirschtein pulled her frilly pink apron off and marched through the living room and towards the stairs. Mr. Kirschtein briefly looked up from his newspaper to eye the sweets, but the cold flash of his wife’s eyes killed his interest in the food just as quickly.

The clack of her heels alerted Jean to her presence but that did little to get the five year old out of his room. “Jean, are you ready? The Bodts are going to be here any minute, honey.”

“Yes…” Jean lied as rolled over in his bed, his eyes firmly focused on the Gameboy in his tiny clutches. He continued to game until the door to his room flung open.

“Jean Kirschtein!” His mother shouted. Jean sprung up from his bed, his white button shirt wrinkled on the side he was laying on. “Bathroom. Now.”

The little boy did as he was told and walked to the bathroom, Gameboy still in hand. “Okay.”

“And will you put that device down.”

“I can’t save until I’m out of this battle,” Jean informed her. With his eyes glued to the screen of his game he was unable to see the annoyed expression his mom shot at him. Once they arrived at the bathroom she snatched the Gameboy Color from his hand and switched it off. “Mom! I have to fight that whole gym again!”

“And I have to do your hair again, now shush,” Jean’s mom rolled her eyes as she once again tried to tame her son’s bed head. It was perfect after his earlier shower but now it dried into a cow lick of great proportions. “I’m going to have to use daddy’s special gel on this.”

The look of horror on Jean’s face screamed ‘anything but that’, and some deity up above heard his plea. The doorbell to the modestly sized house echoed, signaling that the guests had arrived. “They’re here mom.”

“I know, honey,” Substituting water for gel, Mrs. Kirschtein got her son’s hair to a presentable state before going to greet the Bodts.

“Mom, my game!” Jean cried out.

“After lunch, Jean. You’re going to play with Marco like good kids until the food is ready.”

Jean let out an aggravated sigh. If not for the fact guests were about to enter their home Mrs. Kirschtein would’ve reprimanded her son for his outburst. She straightened her dress at the last second before opening the door.

Jean sat down at the edge of the stairs, his legs dangling over the next step as the Bodts entered their humble abode. A woman about the size of Jean’s mom, only a bit stouter, first entered. Her jewelry clanked as she brought Jean’s mom in fr a quick embrace. Her dark complexion hid most of the freckles that lined her face. Next a tall pale man entered, almost as thin as Jean’s dad. His dark hair was slicked backwards and he offered a warm smile to Mrs. Kirschtein. Finally two smaller boys, one around Jean’s age and the other looking like he just started walking stumbled in behind the parents. Both had short dark hair slicked back like their father, but were darker and freckled like their mother.

Mrs. Kirschtein bent down to greet the boys, and to Jean’s surprise the bigger one shrunk back. Jean’s mom giggled as she looked to the top of the stairs. “Jean, come meet Marco and Michael.”

The entire Bodt family immediately looked up and Jean’s normal confidence left as he hunched into himself. His dad’s sudden appearance drew the attention of the other two parents and the littlest Bodt. The older boy still stared at him quizzically until Jean stood up and slowly descended the stairs. His descent prompted the other boy to look to his parents for guidance.

At the bottom of the stairs Jean quickly ran over to his mom’s side and stared awkwardly at the freckled boys. Jean’s mom provided the initial push to get them talking. “Jean honey, this is Marco and Michael. Marco is your age. He plays Pokemon too.”

That last piece of information piqued Jean’s interest. “I picked Squirtle.”

Marco tilted his head in interest as he processed that information. “But Bulbasaur is better.”

Jean’s eyes widened in shock. “No he’s not.”

“Why don’t you boys go play out back while lunch finishes,” Mrs. Kirschtein suggested, all the other parents nodding in agreement.

“Michael, stay with mommy,” Mrs. Bodt retrieved her youngest from Marco’s grasp. Marco looked scared for a quick moment before looking to Jean for direction. Jean took the lead and walked to the backdoor, Marco stumbling behind the entire way. Once they got outside their earlier debate resumed.

“Bulbasaur is stupid. Squirtle is cool,” Jean believed.

“But Bulbasuar is good against all the gyms,” Marco countered.

“Squirtle is too.”

“Electric guy? Grass girl?” Marco wondered as he kicked some grass with his dress shoes.

Like Jean, Marco was dressed in a white button down shirt, but he also had a sweater vest and a tie on underneath.

“I beat electric guy. And I almost beat grass girl but mom turned off the game before I could save and took it away,” Jean grumbled his plight to the new kid.

“My momma did the same but I was at the ninja.” Marco nodded in agreement.

“There’s a ninja?!” Jean seemed astounded.

“Yeah and he uses poison,” Marco smiled.

“So cool,” Jean’s eyes gleamed a bit, thinking of how he was going to fight an actual ninja. “Didja know you can catch Mew.”

“What? No way!” Marco gasped, his turn to be astonished.

“Yeah, it’s under that car by the boat,” Jean informed Marco. His freckled friend’s mouth dropped as he thought about it. “It’s like the only place he could hide in the game.”

“Neat. Wanna battle after lunch?” Marco asked. “I think I can beat you.”

“You’re on, Marco!” Jean accepted the challenge. “If you have Bulbasaur that means you’re my rival.”

Marco gave him a look of confusion. “I’ve never had a rival before. What do I have to do?”

Jean froze for a second as he thought about it. He never had a rival before either. His thoughts went back to Pokemon. “I think that means we’re friends but we have to fight.”

“Friends that fight? But we just met.” Marco frowned as he thought about it.

Jean grinned as now was his chance to actually have some fun. “Then we gotta fight so we can be rivals.”

Jean cracked his knuckles and Marco swallowed nervously. “A-are you sure we have to fight?”

“Are you scared?”

“N-no! I just don’t wanna fight.”

“Then we can’t be friends.”

“But-”

“Come on, scaredy cat.”

The name calling was the last straw for Marco as he lunged right into Jean, carrying the other boy into a muddy puddle. “Ahhh!”

“Rahhh!” Jean shouted back as he grabbed Marco and they started tumbling in circles in the puddle.

It didn’t take long for the parents to hear the commotion and come to the back door to see both boys completely drenched and muddy fighting each other. Jean’s father called out to them. “Jean, Marco!”

Both boys stopped what they were doing, dropping handfuls of mud as they realized the danger they were now in. Mrs. Bodt was the one who stepped forward, completely furious.

“Marco Anthony Bodt what is the meaning of this?!” She demanded to know through puffed out cheeks.

“We’re rivals mom. We had to fight,” He explained. His innocent answer caught the parents off guard, although their anger didn’t completely subside.

“Yeah, now we can be friends.” Jean finished explaining. “Like in Pokemon.”

“Jean Kirschtein, you’re grounded.” Mrs. Kirschtein rubbed her temples as Mrs. Bodt mimicked the punishment for Marco. The two boys exasperated groans meant they knew it’d be a while before they saw their Gameboys and Pokemon again.

\---

Marco’s vision began to blur as tears formed on the edges of his eyes. He paused to gage the reactions of his three friends but only found stone cold faces staring back at him. “Say something, please.”

“…why is the engagement off?” Armin broke the silence.

“B-b-because I’m…” Marco struggled to find his voice. “I’m such a disappointment.”

“No you’re not!” Jean quickly corrected him. “Who called off the engagement?”

Loud sniffling filled the room as the question hung in the air. “I’m going to.”

“So it hasn’t been called off yet?” Eren quirked his head to the side, his lips pulled into a frown. Marco nodded his head. “Why now? What changed?”

Marco hesitated to reply and focused on his cup of hot chocolate. “Nothing changed. No matter how hard I tried not a damn thing changed! My friends just had to point it out tonight.”

Still confused by his words, Eren pushed further. “What did they say?”

“The truth.”

“Damn it, Marco. What did they say?” Jean’s expression was a mixture of concern and a dash of exasperation.

“That- that- God I tried so damn hard!” The tears began to slowly fall down his face as he did his best to blink them away, but it was too late to stop them. His watery gaze left the mug and looked somewhere in between Jean and Eren. “I _tried_ , but God I couldn’t be. I-I couldn’t be.”

“Be what?” Armin caught his attention, his voice soft and gentle. Marco took a loud sniff before finally saying it.

“I couldn’t be straight.”

The simple statement felt like a grand admission of failure to Marco. His broad shoulders fell lower, his body making itself as tiny as possible. Six years he had tried everything to make it right, be the person his family wanted him to be. What he thought they needed him to be: a model student with a good group of friends and a fantastic girlfriend. He excelled at track, people seemed to like him despite his nervous appearance. But he _knew_. It was all a façade that was supposed to make him feel fulfilled and joyful. 

The last six years of his life he spent setting up one lie after a another, each precariously placed and balancing on each other. And by stating a fact he knew all along he pushed the domino that started the fall of all the others. One after another all of his lies surfaced and nipped at him.

Marco brought his hands to his face while the waterfall continued from his eyes. Despite the weight of the confession making him feel smaller than he really was, it had the impact of a fly on windshield for the others. Armin hardened his posture and remained stoic. Eren’s reaction seemed as colorful as his personality. He appeared hopeful at first but slowly frowned as he observed Marco more and more. But Jean, Jean seemed the most judgmental.

“It’s not a choice Marco,” Jean stated matter-of-factly. “You can’t simply turn off attraction with the flip of a switch.”

“I know…”

“And yet you tried for how long?” Jean quirked an eyebrow.

“I… don’t know.”

“Marco, why?”

Marco turned toward Jean once again, noticing the cracks forming in Jean’s porcelain armor. The judgmental exterior revealing the hurt and disappointment inside. While not as vulnerable as Marco felt in that moment, it still confused Marco to see that side of Jean rearing itself. “Because I had to for my family.”

“No you didn’t,” Jean immediately countered.

“Yes, I did!” Marco replied, the crack in his voice stealing any resolve he intended to get across. “I had to be the perfect son for my mom, my nana, my dad, and for Michael.”

“Oh that’s bullshit,” Jean challenged him, “Mick would never want you to be like this. And there’s no way you could ever please everyone in your family.”

“That doesn’t mean I couldn’t try!” Marco’s fists clenched as he defended himself and his actions. His remorse gave away to hurt. His friends were supposed to be consoling him, not criticizing him further.

“Marco, I don’t know your parents or your family but they are supposed to want you to be who you are,” Armin cut in once more, his voice clear and stoic. No anger nor disgust. “Trying to be someone who you’re not only hurts yourself as well as those around you once the act ends.”

“O-others around me?”

“Yeah. You, your family, your friends, your fiancé. Lying to those close to you only begets more pain when it all comes crumbling down,” Armin shook his head, not noticing the pang of worry crossing Eren’s face.

As Marco took in Armin’s words, he started to space out as more mixed emotions swirled in him. Fear crept like a spider along his skin as he worried how his friends would see him after this. Guilt and shame pounded at the back of his head for the pain this would surely cause Mina since she tagged along the furthest during his charade. For all his acting and showing off, he really was just worthless in the end. He couldn’t be honest to his friends, family or even himself.

Jean broke the tense atmosphere by grabbing his phone and turning the light on, nearly blinding Armin. The blond hissed as his dark vision was lost. Ignoring his roommate, Jean went under his bed and started fishing for something.

“What brought all of this up though?” Eren curiously asked again.

“I… well. I caught one of my friends cheating on her fiancé. When I confronted her she said I was no different. And damn, she’s right,” Marco wanted to cry more.

“You are NOT the same as Hannah!” Eren instantly shouted at Marco, startling him out of his stupor. Armin went wide-eyed at the mention of that name.

Marco’s tears dried as his astonishment got the best of him. “How… how did you know it was her?”

It was Eren’s time to confront what he helped create and he turned to face Armin. “’Min, I’m so sorry. I never wanted it to get this far.”

“Eren, what did you do?” Armin’s voice fell as his cool blue eyes froze into icy discs. 

\---

Hot steam signalled the water was more than ready for Marco’s dirty dishes. He happily hummed a tune as sticky silverware and gunked up bowls were deposited in the sink, quickly sinking in the clear water. Meanwhile, the stove timer slowly decreased as the unmistakable scent of chocolate wafted throughout the house. Despite only being in the eighth grade, Marco’s reputation as a baker exceeded any of his classmates and even some of the parents at school bake sales.

It provided some distraction from the mess that was his family, and even more so from Jean’s problems. In fact the brownies were going to be a gift for him if Marco had his way.

“Honey, please-” Marco’s father said defensively.

“Don’t you ‘honey’ me!” His mother argued back, already infuriated. “You have a perfect opportunity to grow your career in Jinae, and you plan to overlook it? I think not.”

“I couldn’t commute there every day from here. Its several hours away.”

“Then we move. With Mama’s health, the boys’ education, and quite frankly the lackluster mentality of this city I think a change of scenery wouldn’t hurt.” Marco’s mom crossed her arms, displeased by Trost.

“Honey,” his father began, choosing to ignore the scornful look from his wife. “My job pays well enough here, the boys have great friends and the schools may not be the best but they are satisfactory.”

“They could be better and our boys are more than capable of making new friends. We could afford the best for them if we move, and with Mama’s declining health bringing her into our house is a real possibility. We need the space.”

Marco dropped the bowl into the sink, the water taking the brunt of the impact. His parents continued their discussion as he eavesdropped, but he didn’t like what heard one bit. The thought of adding a new member to the household was stressful enough and moving on top of that deflated his heart. Not when Jean’s life seemed so grim. “I don’t want to move.”

Both parents ceased their squabble when they realized Marco listened in. While Marco finished drying his hands, they eyed each other warily. His father tried to reassure him though, “It's not for certain but it could happen. Don’t worry though, we’ll figure out in due time.”

“But I like it here. I have plenty of friends and-” Marco complained but his mom interrupted.

“And you can make many new ones in Jinae. They have a great catholic school with many good kids. You’re a great boy and people will flock to you.” She smiled, not convincing him in the least. “Besides if your Nana needs to come live with us we need more room. Unless you wanna share a room with her.”

A frown quickly appeared on his face. Marco shook his head, much to his parents’ humor. “It's ok son, we’ll discuss this later. Are the brownies done yet?”

As if on cue, the over began beeping. Marco placed the towel on his shoulder as he retrieved some oven mitts. Careful not to burn himself, he opened the over and pulled out the piping hot dark brown goodies.

Time confirmed his hopes that the treats were rich and flaky once they cooled off. However as soon as they were edible, its scent lured in Marco’s greatest fear. One minute he turned around for some plates, the next minute he found the entire container missing.

“Michael! Bring them back,” he called out. A groan from dining room proved his suspicions true.

“But they taste so good.” His younger brother replied as he stepped back into the kitchen. A perfect time capsule of Marco from elementary school returned tray with the brownies. Michael Bodt was just as lanky as Marco, and just as pale. While his freckles were a little on the lighter side since he inherited more of his father’s genetics than Marco, he still appeared close enough to the genuine article to be mistaken as twins once in awhile. “And it’s Mick, not Michael.

“Yes but they aren’t for you,” Marco scolded him. If he had a wooden spoon he would slap the back of Mick’s hands.

“Oh really?” Mick quirked a curious eyebrow. “Who are they for? Jean?”

Marco froze as his face flushed from the accusation. “M-maybe.”

Mick smiled devilishly as he caught Marco red handed, but the moment was brief as their parents entered the kitchen. Marco’s beanpole of a father chuckled as hovered towards the brownies. “And how is James’ son doing?”

“I… don’t know. He hasn’t been saying much at school.” Marco admitted. Mick studied his expression carefully since he knew a secret even their parents were privy too. “His mom’s cancer is getting worse.”

“That’s what I was afraid.” His father’s eyes fell to the tiled floor.

“We’ll continue sending out prayers and our support, that’s all we can do as things sort themselves.” His plump mother spoke. She bore a grim frown. 

Marco nodded, walking back to the kitchen to grab a serving knife. His family patiently waited as he cut into the brownies, taking a big square and depositing it onto a paper plate. “This should be enough for Jean, the rest is for us.”

Given permission, his brother practically dove for the knife. His mom cleared her throat and made him pause once more. “What do you say, Michael?”

“...Thanks, Marco.” Mick mumbled as he carefully cut himself an equally big piece. His older brother nodded.

With a need to seal the treat, Marco fetched the plastic wrap and prepared it for Jean. He excused himself to his room where he waited for the inevitable. Leaving the brownie on his nightstand, he simply laid on his bed and listened to the soft melodies emanating from the living room. It was an old radio station his mother often had playing as white noise. His thoughts lingered on Jean, his best friend.

From strangers to rivals, rivals to friends, friends to best friends, and best friends to… something more. 

Marco could very clearly recall moments that his relationship with Jean evolved but recently it had become a more muddled over the last few months. It seemed like a steady flow of things changed: lingering touches, gay jokes losing their humor, darker secrets coming to light. He didn’t know when they crossed the line that they couldn’t come back from. Perhaps it was when he confessed how he felt, as sinful as it may have been. Maybe when Jean broke down entirely in front of him, and Marco hugged him back together. Or when the moonlight shone perfectly on Jean’s face and Marco braved the small distance between them, bringing their lips together for the first time.

Three raps at his window drew Marco out of his inner thoughts. He turned to face the lone window in his room, spotting a tuft of brown hair just above the sill. Keeping his laughter to himself, he walked over and unlocked Jean’s favorite passage into his house. The glass slid open and two hands immediately grabbed onto the sill for support. Jean gracelessly hurled himself into Marco’s abode.

“You forgot the pillows,” Jean said in a heap on the ground. “And here I thought you cared about me.”

“Mom caught me stockpiling them. It was out of my control,” Marco snorted as he offered a hand.

Jean pushed it aside as he untangled himself from the bedroom floor. He stretched his limbs until they had a satisfying crack, and then he ran a hand through his chestnut colored hair. A quick shake got it sufficiently disheveled. “Can’t have them knowing I’m here, eh?”

“God no,” Marco rolled his eyes. A stray thought came back to him as he shuffled over to his nightstand. “Good timing. This might still be warm.”

Cocking an eyebrow, Jean waited as Marco brought him a paper plate. The reaction was immediate as the brownie came into view: mouth agape, wide eyes, and some drool.

“You spoil me.”

“You deserve it,” Marco informed him. What should’ve been a warm gesture wa received but an incredibly tight hug. “Hey, I almost dropped it!”

“I’m sorry,” Jean weakly whispered into his ear. The wavering tone sent chills down Marco’s spine. “Jean?”

An unmistakable sob broke from Marco’s best friend. Jean’s grip only became stronger as Jean’s armor came off. These nightly visits became Jean’s time to vent and be himself since school and his home life prevented that. At school he made sure no one knew about his mother’s disease, and at home he was determined to be strong for his family. With his father slowly turning to drinking and his mom withered away, he knew he had to be. This facade meant nothing to Marco and Jean knew it. He allowed it to crumble piece by piece as exhaustion overtook him.

“What’s wrong, Jean?”

“I… I… I finally told my mom,” Jean croaked. He hid his face in the crook of Marco’s neck, not caring about the wet spot quickly forming on his shoulder.

“What did you tell her?” Marco questioned further. As ominous as that statement was to him, there were many things Jean needed to tell his mom before he couldn’t any more.

A choked sob gave Jean enough time to form his answer. “About me. About us.”

The chill from before turned to goosebumps as Marco slowly pulled away from Jean, trying to understand if it was true. For several months they had kept this relationship secret, not that it was going to stay that way forever. This matter was so important to Jean he always conveyed his desire to tell his mom, but never found the courage to do so. For Marco the secret was paramount since his parents would _never_ approve of this lifestyle. Even if it was with Jean.

“And?”

Jean formed the tiniest of smiles. “She wants me to be happy. And she’ll be happy.”

A wide but gentle smile broke onto Marco’s face as he brought Jean in for another hug.

“That’s perfect!”

“If only,” Jean’s venomous tone returned once again. Without having to face Jean, Marco could sense the tiny smile be replaced with a bittersweet twisted one. “My dad heard everything from the doorway. I don’t know what he thinks but… I’m scared.”

“Shh, don’t be. We’ll cross that bridge together if it happens,” Marco reassured his boyfriend. Truth be told, that revelation terrified him, but he couldn’t show it. He needed to be strong for Jean. He didn’t need to burden him with his problems as far as he was concerned. In fact, an idea crept into his mind. “Hold onto the brownie for one second.”

Jean was perplexed by the request but did as asked. Marco released him from his embrace, quickly scavenging around his bed for what he was looking. It took only a minute to find the Ivysaur plushie. “Marco, what are you doing?”

“Here,” Marco passed the plushie to Jean’s free hand. “Isabella will keep you company when I can’t.”

Turning his head in confusion, Jean ceased his tears. “Isabella? Are you giving me your favorite stuffed animal?”

“Yes. She kept me company when I was scared and sad. She’s great for it. Hold onto to her for me.”

“B-But...”

“No buts no cuts no coconuts. She’ll keep you happy when I’m not there,” Marco nodded.

“But you’re always there for me.” Jean crossed his arms, suspicious about Marco’s statement.

Sweat began to collect on the back of Marco’s neck. He could tell Jean what might be happening, yet it wouldn’t be right. There were enough facts and things happening to be worried about what ifs. “I’m not always at your house, and you need back-up there. Isabella is great for that.”

Shrugging, Jean merely collected Ivysaur onto his forearm. “If you say so. But that reminds me, you still up for playing Fire Red tomorrow at recess? My Wartortle is gonna wreck Eren’s Charmeleon and you should watch. I could probably even beat you.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself just yet. I’m still the Pokemon master of the school.” Marco confidently declared.

“One day I’ll do more than just capture your heart,” Jean said,wiggling his eyebrows. Marco wanted to laugh at the cheesy statement, until he saw Jean leaning in for a kiss. He killed any residual laughter and bent in to meet him halfway.

“Cheesy and gross,” Mick commented from the doorway. A pillow already nailed him in the face before he knew it.

“Mick! Privacy!” Marco yelled. Jean wanted to shout, yet he couldn’t unless he wanted to draw attention to himself.

“Get out of here you little brat,” Jean glared at him.

“Whatever, Romeo. Mama wants to see you Marco.” Mick shrugged. He turned to leave but not without one last remark. “Get a better taste in boys Marco.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time you trip on the way to kiss the altar boy.” Marco spoke with devilish delight.

“That was one time!” Mick exited without any more of a fuss.

Marco and Jean shared one last goodbye kiss before Jean descended into the dark of the night. After closing and locking his window, Marco reported to the living room to talk with his parents.

The following month after that visit was filled with sorrow as the last of the Autumn leaves fell from the trees. When the inevitable happened and Jean’s mother passed away, grief overtook the poor boy. Marco and his family helped Jean and his father grieve as much as possible while keeping the news to themselves out of respect. Marco comforted Jean as best he could, despite it becoming clearer and clearer that moving was no longer just a far away possibility. By Christmas his family would leave Trost for the countryside of Jinae.

Even as the time grew nearer, Marco refused to tell Jean about it. He had to be strong. Even in sadness he wanted to comfort Jean as long as he could. And one winter evening as a snow storm blew, the phone rang.

Marco was halfway through making another batch of treats for his family when his mother picked up the phone. He almost dropped the pan on the way to the over when he heard the phone slam down.

“Marco Anthony Bodt, get in here _now_.” His mom ordered. The cookies were quickly deposited in the oven before he scampered over to the living room.

Inside he saw his mom positively furious, while his father sat on the couch. His dad folded his newspaper to see what had his wife fuming. Mick watched from the corridor out of his parents’ sight with glee on his face. He always liked it when Marco got in trouble.

“Yes, mom?” He asked, his voice shaking.

“Is it true? Are you and Jean more than just friends?” While Marco shook from fear, especially as his mom found out his deepest secret, she instead shook from anger.

“W-we are best friends, mama.” Marco replied as a half-truth.

“Do not lie to me Marco Anthony Bodt. His father just called. He said Jean and you were boyfriends. Is this true?”

Marco quickly scanned the room with his eyes. First to his father, who seemed baffled by this revelation. Then he looked at Mick, whose glee faded into fear. Finally he looked at his shocked and infuriated mother before settling for the carpet between his feet. “Yes, mama.”

“You are forbidden from seeing him ever again.”

“But ma-” Marco tried to interject.

“No buts! We are moving in three days and you’re helping pack every day. You’re not leaving this house, and you’re forbidden from using the phone. I will not have that boy corrupt you any further.”

“Honey, let Marco at least say goodbye to his best friend.” Marco’s father tried to reason, but he was only met with the cold hard gaze of his stubborn wife.

“No, they aren't best friends any more. And we are looking up the rates on that high school tonight. No more public school to brainwash our kids with such silly ideas,” she decided. “Marco, go to your room for the rest of tonight, you’re grounded.”

With tears in his eyes, Marco bolted to his room without another word. The lights remained dark in his bedroom as he hugged his pillow for dear life, sobbing heavily into it. He didn’t even bother to retrieve his cookies from the kitchen. Thankfully his brother had his nose set for those and saved them from an untimely death in the oven. Mick didn’t tease or harass his brother over anything, only leaving a plate of the goodies on his nightstand as Marco broke down for the first time in middle school.

While no one in the family said anything about them, Mick knew it was the last tasty batch of cookies he would eat in years.

\---

“I lied to you, ‘Min,” Eren stated, his eyes focusing on his hands.

Initially Armin’s disposition appeared more curious than angry as he processed that admission from his best friend. He glanced at Marco to gauge gauge his reaction, only finding confusion.

“Well I figured that part out when you and Jean said you liked my girlfriend but I guess that was a ruse. I still don’t know why you’d lie about that,” Armin spoke with mild discontent. “Why am I afraid there’s more to this story than just that?”

“I just want to clarify something before Eren digs a hole he won’t be coming back from,” Jean interrupted, returning from under the bed empty handed. “You caught Hannah cheating on Franz, correct? But not with Armin?”

Marco nodded albeit slightly puzzled still, not vocalizing anymore.

“Go on, Eren.”

Momentarily bringing his dull turquoise eyes to Armin’s frosty blue ones, Eren continued.

“The Hannah you’re dating, is the same Hannah that Marco has known since high school.”

Marco almost got whiplash from how quick he turned from his mug to Eren. “You’re kidding me.”

“No,” Eren mumbled. “I’ve known since you’re first date that she has been engaged to her boyfriend of, what, like seven years?”

“Eight…” Marco corrected under his breath.

“So… I’ve been dating a girl who's been engaged for about a month? And you’re just now telling me this?” Armin inquired. He set his mug of hot chocolate on the cheap nightstand provided by the university. Slowly crossing his arms, he faced Eren.

“Yes, since her threats don’t mean anything anymore,” Eren frowned, staring back at Marco. Armin glanced over at Marco as if trying to figure more out. “She threatened she’d end Marco’s engagement if I interfered with your relationship.”

“And how the hell was she going to do that?” Armin glared at Eren. “Or is that what happened tonight?”

“I think so. She was going to out him and then this was going to happen.”

“So you let me _knowingly_ date someone who was engaged? Just because Marco’s engagement, which you also knew was a charade, was going to end? What the hell Eren?”

“I also knew. Well, at least that you were dating her too,” Jean admitted, flinching from the daggers Armin now sent his way. “You were happy and Marco would’ve became a nervous wreck. We were hoping you’d see through Hannah.”

“And look where we are now. I’m a homewrecker who wasted a month of his life, on top of the dates and and shit I did for her, and Marco has become what you most feared,” Armin hardened his disposition. His hands became clenched fists at his sides as he pondered it more and more. “I live with you both. You lied to me to my face for over a month. Fake congratulations, fake surprise, fake joy.”

“We didn’t want to be the ones to start it all,” Jean scratched the back of his head as he joined Eren in staring at the floor.

“What good does that do us now? Time isn’t infinite and so much could’ve changed for the better in that time,” Armin spoke as he ran a hand through his hair. “Jean, I could’ve expected this from you considering your past with Marco, but Eren? We’ve been best friends most of our lives. Almost 15 years I’ve been there for you through thick and thin. Is this what our friendship is worth to you?”

“It's worth so much to me,” Eren whispered as tears began to well around his eyes.

“Is it? I’ve stood by you through your car accident. I was there for your mom’s funeral and you refused to cry around Mikasa or your dad. We told each other we liked boys at the same time for godsakes!” Armin listed point by point, standing up as anger surged through his veins. He stomped over to the closet and started putting on his shoes. “I never thought your crush on Marco would trump all of that. It's so frustrating yet depressing to realize this.”

“Min-” Eren tried to call out.

“Don’t you ‘Min’ me, Eren Jaeger,” Armin paused. He walked back to the beds with Eren’s prosthetic leg. “Put this on, we got some talking to do in private.”

“Armin,” Marco spoke, disappointment evident in his voice.

“I bare no ill will towards you Marco, don’t worry. Just… just make sure you tell Mina tonight so she can get on with her life,” Armin advised as Eren quietly got himself together. “It’s quite humiliating wasting your time and energy for something that was known to be utterly worthless in the end. _Trust me_.”

With those parting words, Armin walked out the door and held it open for Eren.

Jean placed a comforting hand on Eren’s knee before he arose from the bed.

“I’ll be… I’ll be fine. I have my phone,” Eren informed him as the first tear fell.

Quietly he trailed Armin out the door, with his tail in between his legs.

Jean and Marco remained quiet. In the awkward silence, Jean drank from his mug as he mulled several facts over in his head. Marco still fumbled with his drink, only sipping slowly. What all had Jean and Eren hidden from him if they kept quiet about something so huge for Armin?

“Who else was Hannah seeing?” Jean questioned, keeping the topic away from Marco for a minute.

“Thomas Wagner, another one of my friends,” Marco placed the mug on the floor, finally able to face Jean.

Jean furrowed his brow and placed a hand on his chin as he tried to recall the name, “Blond kid about my size? Isn’t he like Franz’s best friend?”

“Yeah, that’s what makes it worse. I caught them making out at a party a while ago and just kept an eye on them. It wasn’t a one time thing and all the small interactions around them indicated more. I just didn’t think Hannah nor Thomas would betray Franz like that.”

“I’m surprised she had the balls to cheat on him with two people. And that's what we know of. Were Franz and Hannah even happy together?”

Sitting upright in his chair, Marco nodded. “I mean besides the usual couple bickering, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.”

“And we both know that could mean anything,” Jean sighed. “So what exactly made you panic and come here?”

“Short version is… at another party tonight I saw them, Hannah and Thomas, about to go at it and I decided to step in. Like an idiot. When I told her what she was doing was wrong she just laughed and threw it all back at me. I got lectured on how I was living a lie and that I was worse than her. I strung Mina along… and then she threatened to go tell her.”

“Yup, sounds like the bitch,” Jean frowned deeply. Despite Hannah’s argument having some air of truth, that was no way to go about exposing it. Especially from one hypocrite to another.

“But she wasn’t wrong. And I panicked. I ran out of there and ran here. I don’t know why but I just had to come here. Even though I still care about you more than a friend should. Even though Eren knew that apparently,” Marco began to tear up once more.

“Shh, don’t cry. It’s alright,” Jean quickly discarded his mug and walked to Marco’s side. Kneeling on the linoleum floor, he placed a firm hand on Marco’s shoulder. “Eren never told me about your… crush. If he was worried he would’ve made a big deal about it a while ago. Bless his soul for bottling all this up, but he’s going to pay the price tonight. At least from Armin. So don’t worry about him being mad or anything. He cares about you.”

“But why?”

Jean tightened his grip a bit as he rose.

“Cause he likes you. We both do,” Jean admitted, although the meaning of that statement flew right over Marco’s head. Both boys liked Marco as more than friends, and Armin only confirmed Jean’s suspicions further about Eren. A long discussion between the two was on the horizon. “But Hannah telling you that you’re as bad as her is an unfair comparison.”

“But-”

“No but’s Marco. You were lying so hard you convinced yourself, at least at some level. Hannah, and correct if I’m wrong, is a Catholic school girl very well aware of the fact she’s cheating on her fiance. With his best friend. And Eren’s best friend,” Jean tried to explain to his best friend, Marco nodding as he tried to follow. “I’m not saying you’re innocent, because you did fuck up. But you were faithful to Mina in body and spirit. And now that you’re aware of it, you’re not planning on dragging this out.”

“That’s right but I wasn’t faithful at heart,” Marco’s tears fell. While not accompanied by a loud sob, he buried his face in his hands and tried to hide his shame..

“If you expect your heart to be 100% in someone’s possession then you’re dead wrong,” Jean giggled. “Trust me, it’s impossible.”

“What do you mean?” Marco wondered, curious eyes peering through his slender fingers.

“We live our lives continuously giving bits of our heart to those we meet, those we choose to become from friends with, those we crush on and fall in love with. Friends, family, lovers, teachers, pets, siblings, all take pieces of our hearts. Even Gods we believe or don’t believe in. Your heart can never just belong to one person,” Jean’s scowl pulled upwards into a soft smile. Strolling about his room as he thought more and more about it. “Even those who we let go take part of us with them.”

“I mean, I knew I loved Mina but not the same way I… I loved you,” Marco confessed, stopping Jean in his tracks. Despite having never said it to each other, yet being blatant about it even back then, it felt different acknowledging it. “I feel like I cheated on her.”

“Marco, that’s not cheating on someone. That’s your body cherishing what it had and remembering it. Life is full of those moments and relationships. I never stopped cherishing you, even after you left. Even after I started dating Eren and making new friends. And even after you called me ‘just a phase’. Some part of me will always hold on to what we had in my heart, it's only natural.”

Stunned by the that information, Marco quickly spun around in his chair to face Jean. Guilt nipped at him after he saw his friend’s brittle armor chipping away more. Leaning on the closet for support, Jean was shaking.

“I… you remember that. I called you just a phase back in high school.” 

Saying those words struck Jean with more impact than Marco intended. Now his amber eyes glistened in the lowlight of the room.

“You probably don’t remember it, honestly. The dinner we had last year when we met Mina, Franz, and Hannah, Franz mentioned it and laughed it off but that really struck a chord in me,” Jean reminisced with a bitter smile. “After we left I broke down for the first time since you left me in Trost. That was a hell of a night for Eren since it was the same night Armin got dumped.”

“I didn’t know!”

“Of course you didn’,t it was just a passing comment. But after all the hell I went through in high school after you left it just struck me really hard because I care deeply about you. Like we said earlier, attraction and your heart isn’t something you can simply flip off. You can try but it's going to fucking hurt when you bounce back to the truth.”

“I’m sorry, Jean,” Marco stood up. He closed the distance between them, dragging his feet as he thought about it. “I know it sounded cold, but you were more than just a phase in my life. You were my everything back then, and I always remembered those moments fondly.”

“You sure had a shit way of showing. Moving out on me without so much as a goodbye,” Jean playfully punched Marco on the shoulder.

Marco took the pitiful impact and pretended to fall backwards, catching his step. “That was surprisingly deep, Jean.”

“I’ve had practice debating Armin on the topic. It took him _forever_ to get over Annie. But it was an interesting time because it allowed a lot of good discussion and we traded thoughts on the subject. Our relationship was a subject of fascination for both him and Eren since I kept mum about it.”

Retracting his hand, Jean crossed his arms as painful memories began to resurface. Rather than looking defensive, it just appeared he was cradling himself for support.

“You never told anyone?” Marco became baffled as the previous statement sunk in. “How long did you bottle it up?”

Jean looked to the ceiling as his face became more pensive. “Two and a half years I think? Eren was the first person I told after he ran away from home. That was also a hell of a night.”

“I lasted like three months,” Marco spoke, disappointed in himself.

“I fended off Marcel and his goon squad for like two years since it became a rumor we were something.”

“Marcel? Oh well he knows now. He kinda became friends with Franz and Thomas when they rushed for Sigma Nu last year.”

Jean blinked twice before rolling his eyes, “Of course they would. Asshole probably felt justified after he knew. Well, dating Jaeger probably confirmed his suspicions back then anyways. Fuck him. Marcel, not Eren.”

“I didn’t know you held out for so long. Why?” Marco said, still baffled by the idea.

“Well I didn’t have anyone to tell because I became a loner. Cut my hair, dyed it blue, and pretty much said ‘fuck the world’.”

“You could’ve made friends. You were a track kid who people liked, despite being a bit cocky.”

“Very cocky. But I didn’t want to go through the pain of losing a friend again. Being the reason you moved away stung like nothing I can describe,” a hand grabbed at the shirt in front of his heart. “I felt so hollow, so angry, and so sad. After adjusting to the loss, I just became numb to it. It was easier to harden my shell than to go through the pain of opening up again.”

“Forgive my language, but that’s bullshit,” Marco frowned, surprising Jean more for his word choice than the statement itself. “You’re _terrible_ at bottling up emotion.”

“I had a couch with a shitty throw pillow?” Jean shrugged, tears edging at his eyes again.

As painful as a subject as this was to him, he finally had a chance to get it off his chest and he planned on doing just that. He expected just to vent and then let Marco vent his problems. It seemed like the perfect plan, except for the Marco part. Unable to see his best friend in such a depressing state, Marco reverted to his middle school mentality and embraced Jean tightly.

“You shouldn't have had to go through that. And we didn’t leave because of you. I never told you because I didn’t want to burden you with such terrible news but we had planned to move for a while. When your dad called, it just grounded me so I couldn’t say goodbye.”

Jean blinked for a few seconds as sank in.

“Goddammit dad and goddammit Marco… Do you know how long I thought I was the reason you left?!” Jean shouted into Marco’s shoulder as he let his tears go. “Because it up until about three seconds ago you asshole!”

Marco relaxed as Jean unloaded his emotions once again, finally letting his defenses down and coming out of his shell. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re so shitty with your plans, I swear,” Jean stated the obvious.

Neither noticed when the door cracked opened. Nor when a pair of eyes stared at them in their embrace. It took a voice clearing its throat before they realized they had company.

“I hope I’m not interrupting something important, but I think I need to talk with my fiance…” Mina awkwardly requested.

Jean and Marco separated faster than Connie and Sasha’s relationship after it was discovered both were gay for their best friends.

“N-no. I got what I wanted off my chest. I swear we weren’t doing anything-” Jean attempted to explain, but Mina held up a hand. His words trailed of as Mina offered him a gentle but weak smile.

“I’m aware. I may have eavesdropped a little before entering. I apologize for coming uninvited but I believe it's time for Marco and I to also have a heart to heart.”

Jean nodded in agreement as he wiped away the tears, while Marco paled at the thought. Jean reached over and pushed pushed his friend forward, who stumbled into his fiance’s arms, trembling for what needed to be done.

\---

One month into his new high school and Marco still felt lost. A deep sigh escaped him as he tightened his tie and tucked in his white button down shirt. At least in public school he could wear what he wanted, but a lot of things had changed since his family moved to Jinae. His mom scrutinized his actions more and she had little trust for him. He went to school, did his work, and practically came home right away. Maybe he could try sports again when they opened up the next month.

Not being able to say goodbye to Jean left a void in his heart, and in his confidence. Lacking familiarity just made going through school painful, and joining halfway through the school year only made him stand out. Most social groups had settled and weren’t accepting applications for new people.

Marco left his worries as he descended the stairs in their new house towards the kitchen. His lunch already was prepared and packed on the counter in a paper sack. It even had his name written in stylistic cursive.

“Thank you, Nana!” Marco called out, smiling a bit.

Another new thing was living with his Italian grandma. Sure she had lived in the country long enough to pick up the language, but a new housemate threw a wrench in the familiarity and habits of everyone at home.

“It’s no problem, Marco,” her Italian pronunciation accentuating his name. She emerged from the living room already with open arms. He strolled over and returned the gesture as she slowly hugged him. She smelled of olive oil, and the air behind her had a tint of basil. Much like his mother, his grandma had a short stature only made worse by her hunched back. Her silver hair curled out in many directions, still thick and full. The silver frame glasses hung low on her nose as her warm chocolate eyes peered at Marco. “Now have a nice day, mio sole.”

“Yes, Nana,” Marco beamed back. He swiped his lunch from the counter and practically skipped out the door. If anyone could bring some light in his life, it was the friendly wrinkled face of his grandma.

School started off as normal with Latin and English disengaging most of the freshman right away, but something odd caught Marco’s attention. A pink ribbon fluttered down the hallway after one of his periods. Years of finding Waldo allowed him to quickly ascertain the owner of a matching ribbon in the hair of a short girl with two pigtails. One was missing its matching pink partner.

Marco quickly recovered the accessory but was unable to get the girl’s attention before the next bell rang. He had to wait to until lunch before he could even attempt to find her. Luck appeared to be on his side as he swiftly found her and who he assumed to be her friends at a lunch table. She was surrounded by a another freckled brown haired girl, a boy with blond hair, and a boy with a shaved head.

“Uh, excuse me?” Marco proceeded to announce his presence. Quickly laughter faded into awkward stares as the students looked at him. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi?” the blond kid replied.

“Sorry for intruding but I think this is hers,” Marco extended a hand with the pink ribbon. The pigtailed girl instantly looked at her hair.

“Oh,” she remarked. With a pleasant smile she took the silk cloth back and tied it back on. “Thanks… uh, what’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Marco. Marco Bodt.”

“Please to meet you, Marco. I’m Mina Carolina,” she stuck a thumb at herself. Next she pointed to each of her friends. “Blond kid is Thomas Wagner, girl is Hannah Diamant, and that’s her boyfriend Franz Kefka.”

“Like the author?” Marco raised an eyebrow. The boy immediately groaned and his head fell to the table.

“Every time,” he complained.

“Sorry!” Marco quickly raised his hands in front of himself, but the others simply laughed.

“You’re fine, don’t worry,” Thomas laughed heartily. “You’re the new guy, right? Sit with us!”

“A-are you sure?” Marco stuttered.

“Of course. Anyone who can defeat Franz before he says a word is worthy of joining us for food,” Thomas continued to tease Franz. Mina nodded and patted the seat next to her.

“Besides, you already helped me without even knowing me. Welcome to our small group of friends.”

Marco nodded and took a seat as relief swelled inside his chest. Dining with new people was awkward sure, but it was a step in a direction he’d been waiting for such a long time. It was also a chance to reinvent himself he supposed. They didn’t know him so he could actually be what his family wanted. He could have great friends he fit in with, and could finally break free of his mom’s iron grip on his time. She couldn’t disapprove of friends he made at a Catholic school of course.

And in time he proved right. She loved his friends, and they loved her and her cooking. His father also seemed to enjoy meeting Marco’s friends the few moments he allowed himself to come home. Mick shrugged off these people but that’s what little siblings did. He only grew suspicious once Marco returned one day with a ‘girlfriend’. While it was an awkward staring contest between the two brothers, his mother couldn’t have been happier.

And that made Marco happy, right?

\---

Color drained from Marco’s face as Mina gently clasped her arms around him. Her face rested on the oversized hoodie, breathing a deep sigh before letting go of Marco. She wore a somber smile, similar to Jean’s just a few minutes earlier.

“M-m-m-mina…” Marco stammered.

“We need to talk, Marco,” she spoke softly.

Mina raised a hand next to Marco’s cheek, running her dainty knuckles along his pale jaw. He flinched initially from the touch, dropping Mina’s smile into a frown. Jean watched from the side, his gut wrenching. Hesitation and remorse decorated Marco’s sickly face, yet only pity dotted Mina’s expression. Her tender touch confirmed Jean’s lingering suspicions that she did care deeply for her fiance.

Marco leaned into her hand, bringing his hands into her grasp, “I failed you.”

“No you didn’t,” Mina shook her head. “You only failed yourself. I don’t know what you’re thinking but don’t blame yourself too harshly for this.”

“But-”

“I knew the risk when I accepted your proposal,” Mina glanced at the simple diamond ring on her left hand. “You were always honest with your feelings, and with your past.”

“That doesn’t mean what I did was right.”

“True,” Mina confirmed but a smile returned to her face. “Then again neither was I when I knew full well you were struggling with yourself. You gave me the attention and love I craved, even if I knew somewhere deep inside we weren’t anymore than just friends. The dates, the kisses, the treatment all felt so junior high. I feel like always knew.”

“Huh?” Marco’s lips trembled.

“The look you gave Jean, that’s what probably gave it away. The others noticed too. Your smile, your expression, it was different. It was genuine. And you don’t deserve to be acting your whole life. Its tiresome, trust me. Playing the loving fiance has been exhausting but the show is coming to an end,” Mina smiled. She glanced longingly at the ring once more before pulling her hand out of Marco’s weak grasp.

“But I dragged you into my identity crisis. I lead you on, and manipulated you.”

“Perhaps, but it doesn’t feel like it. I went along because I thought I could help a great person and a magnificent friend. I thought I could help fix you, but I was wrong and that was presumptuous of me,” Mina became tight lipped as she slipped the ring off.

“Fix me?” Marco mouthed back.

“Yeah, because you always came across as broken. High school I learned about you piece by piece, hoping to put the puzzle together. It wasn’t until college I got to see the whole picture and it all came together,” Mina further explained. “The only thing that needed fixing was your honesty. You needed to be you, not someone else.”

Marco placed his hands on her shoulders as he pressed his forehead against hers. His eyes closed as did hers. “You were there for me when I was friendless, when I decided to go college away from my family, when my parents divorced, and when broke down over life in college. I can never thank you enough for being there for me. As my best friend and girlfriend.”

“And I can’t thank you enough for being my biggest support with all my choices, with all the complications being an orphan brought, and resembling something closer to a brother and boyfriend.”

Chills ran down Jean’s spine as this touching moment was accentuated with more tears from both parties, and the first light of dawn finally appearing. The starcrossed couple remained silent as they leaned against each other. Thoughts of his relationship with Marco returned to Jean’s head as he pondered what their break up should’ve been like. How it would’ve ended in the snow of Marco’s backyard perhaps, or in the lukewarm comfort of his room. Being robbed of that painful moment always left him empty, until now. He finally saw something of what the bittersweet moment should've been like.

“Mina,” Marco whispered, shaking at that name.

“Marco, our engagement is over,” Mina replied. She slipped her hand in the pocket of the hoodie and released the ring.

Both opened their eyes and Marco removed his forehead from hers. He bent down to kiss her forehead tenderly one last time before separating.

“You were the bestest friend I could ask for at that godforsaken school.”

“Same to you. It’ll take some time, but please find yourself and be true to yourself. Help him with that, Jean,” Mina requested. All he could do was nod slowly. “I’m not going to lie and say this doesn’t hurt me tremendously, but I gotta start the healing process sooner rather than later. I’ll see you when we’re both in a better place.”

Cracking one last gentle smile, Mina turned around and left the two boys alone once more.

Marco pulled out the ring from his pocket and turned it over several times in his hands. He trudged past Jean at a snail’s pace, dropping the ring on the nightstand next to the hot chocolate.

Letting Marco focus on the ring, Jean decided to continue his search from before. It was obvious Marco needed some space and time to think about what just transpired. His relationship of several years just fell through after all. Jean’s phone provided the light he needed.

Meanwhile Marco sat in Jean’s chair, fixated on the simple but elegant metal ring given to him by his mother. It was her engagement ring, his grandma’s engagement, and his great grandmother’s engagement ring. The simple band stood as a testament to the Bodt family’s ability to meet and woo others, but it also symbolized a promise. A promise that seemed to gradually fade over time. Maybe it was an omen that his parent’s divorced in the middle of his relationship.

“Thank you, Mina,” Marco leaned his head down, examining his hands. While not literal, the metaphorical blood on them at least now felt partially cleansed.

“You aren’t worthy of saying her name, you self-righteous prick,” a deep and familiar voice called out from the doorway.

Marco peered over to see Marcel and two of his friends entering the room. “What do _you_ want, Marcel?”

Jean immediately stopped what he was doing and sent some texts out. If Marcel now got involved, this meant war. He pocketed his phone and carefully observed the situation from under the bed. The jock’s two friends stepped in front of Jean and Eren’s shared bed while Marcel himself chose to stand by Marco.

“To teach you a lesson about messing with a girl’s feelings just to cover your gay ass,” Marcel threatened, cracking his knuckles as he got closer.

Not about to let this escalate too far, Jean preemptively stuck and grabbed the legs of one of Marcel’s friends.

\---

“You should totally pledge in the spring, dude,” Franz firmly believed, placing a hand on Marco’s shoulder. “Sigma Nu is full of great guys and plenty of opportunity to grow as a person.”

“Maybe, I still have to pass this semester before I can even think of the spring,” Marco joked. Even though Franz laughed along with him, it really was a fear he had.

“I have no doubt you’ll make it. With Mina now at your side for good anything is possible.”

“Yeah, true,” Marco replied with a fond smile forming on his lips.

Franz slipped on a thin jacket as he approached the door of their shared dorm. “You finally going to tell the family the good news? Give your mom a hi for me.”

“Will do, Franz,” Marco said.

Content with that knowledge, Franz left to continue his workout.

Marco opened his laptop and waited for the terrible internet connection of the dorm to work. Luck was on his side as the laptop quickly showed all the notifications he missed during the day. Ignoring those messages, he clicked on Skype and proceeded to call the family computer. There was a high chance Mick was playing game or dicking around on the Internet. The familiar ringtone played for a few minutes until Mick’s red face appeared.

“Yes?” Mick queried.

“Get mom and Nana, I got some news for the family,” Marco grinned.

Mick squinted suspiciously at his brother. A distinct zipper being zipped sound could be heard as Mick spun around in the chair and walked off. Did Marco interrupt something?

“Mom, Nana, Marco’s on Skype!” Mick called out. “I can’t access the laptop! You password locked it, remember? ...Fine.”

“What’s up?” Marco wondered.

“Mom’s going to unlock the laptop so Nana doesn’t have to come upstairs. Call that in like a minute.”

Marco nodded and ended the call. He waited the designated time before calling his mom directly. As much as she called it the family laptop, she password protected it so only she could really use it. Like before, Mick’s face popped up on the screen. His brother backed away to reveal his mom sitting on a sofa and his Nana rocking back and forth in her favorite wooden chair.

“Hi, everyone,” Marco greeted.

“Hello, Marco,” his mom replied with her usual friendly smile.

“Hi, mio sole,” Nana waved slowly.

Mick simply rolled his eyes.

“Well, I’m calling because I got some amazing news,” Marco grinned.

“Finally got laid?” Mick whispered into the mic so the others couldn’t hear.

Marco briefly glared at him, not addressing the question. Mick gave him his best widest devilish grin.

“I proposed to Mina,” Marco informed them. His grandma stopped her rocking and Mick’s grin instantly fell flat. But his mom’s smile widened from ear to ear.

“And?!” She demanded to know.

“She said yes!”

“My baby boy is finally a man!” Marco’s mama declared.

His grandma resumed her rocking with a smile on her wrinkled visage. Mick though, remained stoic, if not a little agitated. The conversation went in one ear and out the other with Mick. He grunted at the appropriate times but did little more to acknowledge the merry news. Once the family conversation died down, Mick opted to take the laptop from his mom and grandma.

In another room, and out of earshot, he finally opened up to his brother.

“Are you an idiot?” Mick glared at his older brother.

“What are you talking about?” Marco crossed his arms indignantly.

“Asking Mina to marry you? Have you gone off the deep end? You’ve only been dating for like two years,” Mick huffed.

“It just seemed like the right time,” Marco shrugged. “Franz and Hannah finally did it so I shouldn’t have been too far behind.”

“Marco, those two have been dating since the dawn of man compared to you and Mina. I love the girl, don’t get me wrong, but I think you’re fucking up.”

“Mick. Don’t start this.”

Pressing the ‘don’t start this’ button only incensed his brother further. Mick set the laptop down and mimicked his brother's gesture.

“Do you actually love her? And don’t say just like a best friend. Because there’s a difference,” Mick wanted to know.

“Yes, I do. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked her, smart alec. Like your lonely butt would even know,” Marco teased.

“Oh I’ve had practice, I know,” Mick stuck his tongue out.

“...how many boys have you corrupted?” Marco sighed.

“Corrupted? Please, don’t sound like mom,” Mick shivered at the thought. “But I’ve helped a few be honest with themselves. Although I still haven’t found one that makes me bubbly like you were for Jean.”

Marco’s eyes widened before sinking to the floor. “Didn’t know Jinae’s Catholic school had that many boys that were gay.”

“There are enough that are just curious. No one would dare out me since that’d make them complicit. But that still doesn’t answer the question I asked you about two years ago. Do I need to refresh your memory?”

“No, and I still don’t have an answer,” Marco admitted, wringing his hands together in his lap.

“You don’t know if she makes you feel like Jean did. But you asked the girl to marry you. You’re an idiot.”

Marco heaved a deep breath as frustration began to show. “Why is it only mom and my friends are happy for me?”

“Oh? So I’m not the only one who disagrees?” Mick caught on, further annoying Marco.

“No. Eren and Jean think it’s a bad idea too.”

“See!” Mick leaned forward towards the webcam. “If Jean can see it, then there’s still hope.”

“I’m not getting back together with Jean so you can go after Eren! God, you’re incorrigible.”

“That’s not what I meant, dumbass. Though now that you mention it, I like that plan,” Mick stroked his chin. “I mean if your closest friend sees through you that means it's a bad idea. That or he still likes you. Maybe both.”

“I don’t feel that way about Jean or boys anymore Mick, we’ve been over this.”

A quick look at the door confirmed no one would be interrupting this rather embarrassing personal conversation.

“Now that’s the biggest lie you’ve told me all evening. I don’t know why you feel obligated to lie to yourself just so you can please mom, but this is your life. It's about as bad as you picking the major you hate just to please dad. At least he didn’t give a shit about who you wanted to bang.”

“Mick, I’m hanging up. Just try to find it in your heart to be happy for me, please.”

“If you can find it in your heart to get yourself in order. I ain’t coming out to mom until I can get far the fuck away from this backward ass town.”

“If you keeping messing around with boys, you’ll be out of there sooner than you think. You’re playing a dangerous game, Mick.”

“At least my game doesn't involve lying to everyone I know and love,” Mick shrugged.

Angered by the accusation, Marco swiftly ended the call and prepared to go get dinner with the girl of his dreams. Although he couldn’t keep the doubt lingering at the back of his mind from bothering him for the rest of the evening.

\---

“What the fu-” a deep voice reacted as he fell face first into Armin’s bed. Marco barely had time to register what was going on since Marcel already grabbed his hoodie and hoisted him into the air.

Jean punched the back of the other guy’s knee, causing him to collapse. He quickly scampered out and elbow dropped the person he just collapsed. The other person he tripped snuck up behind him and performed a half-nelson, lifting Jean up. All he could do was kick as the other guy got back up and punched him in the gut.

“Oh and who do we have here? Jean Kirschtein? This night keeps getting better,” Marcel grinned.

“Get the fuck out of my room, Marcel,” Jean demanded, despite having no ground to stand on.

“Is this your place? Funny, I just followed Mina here assuming it’d lead me to this piece of garbage. Two for one tonight,” Marcel carried Marco over to a nearby wall and pinned him against it.

“Why are you here?” Marco questioned the large bully. Even though he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, he seemed unfazed by it all.

“To punish you for being a selfish prick to Mina.”

“Oh really?” Marco smiled.

Jean blinked a few times as he saw the bitter twist in it. Why was Marco suddenly confident? Behind the tear-stained face appeared something Jean hadn’t seen before.

His best friend grabbed Marcel’s hands and pulled the bully closer.

“The hell?” Marcel replied in surprise.

“I already exchanged words with Mina. We’re broken up and moving on with our lives. Nothing you can do could begin to even come close to the pain in my heart right now. You can tell yourself you’re doing it for Mina, because I know how you’ve felt about her since you met her,” Marco spat back at Marcel.

“The shit are you talking about?”

“If you think you hid your crush from either of us, then you’re a bigger idiot than in grade school. And that’s a wide gap to cross. You just want an excuse to take your pent up rage and jealousy out on me.”

“Shut up, fag!” Marcel exclaimed as slammed Marco against the wall with a loud thud.

“And even though you’re trying to win her over, she’ll never take you. You’re a disgusting person and she sees right through that. Trust me, we’ve had the conversation many times before.”

“If you won’t shut up yourself, I’ll make you,” Marcel pulled back a trembling fist.

Marco braced for an impact that never came. He opened one of his eyes to find a rather bulky hand holding Marcel’s fist back. On top of that, Marco saw movement in the shadows that leapt upon the guy who punched Jean.

Using the chaos to his advantage, Jean headbutted the guy holding him and he fell to the floor.

“Took your sweet time,” Jean scoffed as he pinned the guy below him with his foot.

“We were busy,” Connie informed him as he pinned the guy down on their bed. “Although I can now say I’ve wrestled a man in my underwear on your bed though. That should piss Eren off.”

“Marcel, get out of this dorm,” Reiner ordered as sent his other fist into the man’s gut. “Bringing a softball team to this floor was stupid, even for you.”

“Fuck you, Reiner,” Marcel coughed as he let Marco go, and hunched into the impact. “We play baseball.

“Yeah, no,” Reiner let go of Marcel’s fist. “I was an idiot for even considering you a friend in elementary school. Glad to see you haven’t changed a bit.”

After several seconds Marcel regained enough breath to motion for his friends to leave. “I’ll get you fags later.”

As he took his first step out the door, a flying pink object nailed in the head. The clank from the impact alerted those around that it was metal. Not to far behind the object a scarlet flash jumped onto Marcel and started beating on him.

All the boys, even his friends, just watched from the room as a mysterious woman pounded him into the floor. “If you so much as come near any of my friends I’ll do more than make you piss your pants again.”

Mikasa stood up and retrieved her Hello Kitty lunchbox from the floor. With one last kick into Marcel’s stomach, she walked into the room. Her icy stare immediately evacuated the other two boys from the room. They grabbed the beaten body of Marcel on the way out.

“Shit,” Jean remarked as he cracked a knuckle.

“What?” Marco quirked an eyebrow as he got up.

“I forgot to throw a ramen package at him,” Jean cursed as he kicked the floor. Reiner and Connie cracked wide grins, while Mikasa smirked slightly at the thought.

“Why?” Marco seemed confused by the gesture.

“Abridged version is I usually win our fights by throwing noodles at him. Maybe I’ll mail him a coupon or something.”

“Where’s Armin and Eren?” Mikasa changed the subject.

Jean’s mouth fell into a frown. “They went outside a while ago to discuss things. Important things.”

“Let’s go then,” Mikasa motioned.

“Does that have something to do with why you’re here? I texted those two, but not you,” Jean inquired. He gestured to the two boys standing in the room in nothing but their boxers.

“What’s even going on? You’ve been up and loud for like hours,” Connie yawned as he pulled one of Eren’s shirts on.

“Shit hit the fan,” Jean shrugged. “And then Marcel appeared.”

“If Eren and Armin aren’t here I’m going to find them,” Mikasa spun on her heels and bolted out the door.

“Where’s Sasha?” Connie called out.

“Food coma,” a reply came from the stairwell.

“Ah but of course,” Connie nodded.

“I gotta go check on my roommates so watch this place for us,” Jean asked as he grabbed Marco by the arm and they darted out the room.

Reiner surveyed the room and shook his head. “Come on, babe. Let’s do them a favor.”

Jean and Marco easily caught up to Mikasa at the bottom of the stairs. The group exited the dorm with Jean leading the way. If Eren and Armin wanted to talk in private they probably went to Armin’s favorite smoking spot: right behind the dorm. His prediction was confirmed true when the unmistakable sounds of a fight broke the silence of the early morning.

“Over here,” Jean guided the other two.

They arrived to find a peculiar scene unfolding. Armin stood atop Franz pointing Eren’s leg at his neck, while Eren was on the floor bleeding from the head. Berthold was restraining Thomas Wagner as best he could, his face showing his frayed nerves. And the most majestic sight of all was last pair. Hannah was practically screaming as she was hoisted above a rather miffed Annie’s head. With no remorse, she threw the screaming girl into the dumpster with a loud bang.

“The hell is going on?” Jean asked.

“Taking out the trash,” Annie shrugged as she dusted her hands. Her face remained stoic as she looked at the boy on the ground. “Ask this asshole why he started beating on my ex and his best friend.”

“You bitch! That’s no way to treat my fiance!” Franz growled at her.

“Actually, it is,” Marco stepped forward.

Franz instantly stopped his anger while Thomas’ face lost all its color. “Marco? What are you doing here?”

“Ending this charade apparently,” Marco sighed as he came over. He nodded at Armin who gradually stepped off Franz. Marco offered a hand, which his roommate took. Franz tried to lunge at Armin, but Marco held him firmly in place. “What’s going on?”

“This blond punk drugged and slept with Hannah, the fucking rapist,” Franz growled.

“No he didn’t,” Marco informed Franz, trying to pacify his anger. “I know Armin, and he’s a fantastic friend of mine. He’d never do that. However, your girlfriend has been unfaithful to you.”

“The fuck are you saying?” Franz glared at Marco.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but look at these,” Marco unlocked his phone and swiped a few times before handing it over to Franz. He immediately began looking through the photos. “Hannah has been cheating on you with Thomas. And Armin.”

Franz’ face fell as horror came across it.

“Don’t listen to him! It’s a lie, honey,” Hannah called from the trashcan.

“Shut up,” Annie ordered as she threw a hefty rock into the trashcan. It echoed loudly and startled those near it.

“Thomas? How could you?” Franz handed the phone back to Marco.

“You aren’t going to believe that lair, right? He’s been gay this entire time and unfaithful to Mina,” Thomas tried to redirect the blame.

Franz froze once more and looked at Marco, confusion clearly written on his face. “What the fuck, Marco?”

“That’s an entirely different issue that Mina and I already discussed,” Marco stared at the floor.

“You have?” Thomas seemed astonished by the idea.

“Yes, we’re separated. Though I was never unfaithful to her, unlike you and Hannah. I don’t know who started it but you dragged all my friends into it. I’m sorry, Franz.”

Armin then stepped forward dropping Eren’s leg. “I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but listen. Hannah came to me a month ago saying she was single and wanted to go on a date. One thing lead to another and we became boyfriend girlfriend. Tonight was the first night I ever heard she had another boyfriend, let alone a fiance. She knew where to find me because I sent her a break up text as soon as I learned about it. That’s why she brought you here. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more I can offer you.”

Franz’s eyes remained stone cold when facing Armin, but he managed to turn away from the boy. He pulled his hand free from Marco and walked over to Thomas. “You piece of garbage.”

He grabbed Thomas by the collar of his shirt, causing Bertholdt to let him go, and flung him over his head and into the trashcan with Hannah. “Franz, wait!”

“No, no more waiting. You both betrayed my trust. The only person who's been honest with me tonight is Marco. I don’t care what his personal issues are, but at least he’s been a true friend compared to you two,” Franz began to walk away before stopping. He pulled his engagement ring off and flicked it into the trashcan. It bounced with a ping as it fell further in. “Thank you, Marco.”

Before his roomate left, Marco grabbed his shoulder. “I do have a favor to ask. Please keep an eye on Mina for me. She’ll need your help.”

“And I’ll need hers. I’ll see you after Thanksgiving. I’m leaving early tomorrow. I don’t want to be here right now,” Franz frowned as he became downtrodden.

As the ungrateful couple thrashed about in the trashcan, the others closed in around Eren and Armin. The blond was already on top of Eren, gingerly holding his cheek as he inspected his head. “Damn it, Eren, say something. I know you’re ok.”

A small giggle from Jean’s boyfriend slowly bubbled into full on laughter. “Is Eren alright?”

“Once the bleeding stops. I think he needs medical attention though,” Armin guessed.

“You took my fucking leg,” Eren cackled as Mikasa dropped by his side, taking a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbing at his forehead. “And you jumped on Franz and tried to club him.”

“I think I cracked your leg, I’m sorry,” Armin rubbed the back of his head.

“I got insurance, so totally worth it. Not even Jean has done that for me,” Eren continued to laugh.

“You know I would, babe,” Jean rolled his eyes.

“You’ve grown, Armin,” Annie’s lips curled into a tiny smile.

“Thanks for coming when you did. That was unexpected,” Armin crossed his arms.

“We heard shouting so we ran down here from the streets. No girl breaks your heart but me,” Annie declared.

“Thanks?” Armin seemed confused by the statement. “But let's get inside. I got a first aid kit in our room.”

\---

“Armin, why?” Eren complained as he poked at the bandaid on his forehead. A quick look in mirror showed a Hello Kitty bandaid displayed prominently above his right eyebrow.

“Mikasa bought it for me,” Armin shrugged. Jean stifled a giggle, earning a frigid glare from his boyfriend. Keeping to himself, Marco was chuckling on the inside.

The others had thankfully parted ways once everything was explained. While it was uncomfortable to have to his dirty laundry aired out in the open, the group of friends he had from elementary school offered nothing but support. It was a type of unconditional love that Marco neither expected nor deserved, but was incredibly grateful to have. He knew he’d need it once he talked things over with his family. After all, he still had them to disappoint.

When the boys returned to their room they found it in impeccable condition. Reiner and Connie managed to not only clean up the mess caused by the unexpected intrusion of Marcel, they managed to clean up the laundry and leftover food. Even the beds were made.

“Good news is the happy couple didn’t raid the tequila this time. Bad news is they combined our laundry,” Jean summarized for his roommates and Marco.

Armin rolled his eyes as he helped Eren to his feet. “Won’t be the first time, and probably won’t be the last time. But if I find another thong in with my clothes…”

“That wasn’t ours!” Eren snapped, blushing red at the thought.

“I know your kinks Eren Jaeger, don’t lie to me,” Armin retorted. Both boys were oblivious to the blushing Marco in the doorway.

“Uh, maybe I should go back to my room. The sun's coming up and I’m exhausted,” Marco said, a yawn breaking through at the end.

“Yeah, no,” Eren shook his head. “Crash here. We’re all in the same boat and that place is toxic for you.”

“But-”

“No but’s, Bodt,” Jean agreed. “You can crash on one of our beds.”

“Yeah, you can take my bed if that makes you feel better,” Armin offered, bemused by Marco’s awkwardness.

“You… but… Aren’t you comfortable with me being in the same room as you all?”

“Marco, just because you like us doesn’t mean you’re going to jump us in the night,” Jean giggled as Eren crawled to their bed. “Just because I think Armin is real attractive with that shorter hair doesn’t mean he’ll find me up on his business in the dead of night.”

“You _what_?!” Armin gasped, joining Marco in turning crimson.

“If you say so. I’ll use Armin’s bed though,” Marco smirked, glad for someone else’s embarrassment.

“Are you sure, Marco?” Armin voice’s went up an octave.

Marco nodded as he slipped off the hoodie. He didn’t catch the other three boys staring at his back muscles as he slipped under the covers. “Thank you guys, for everything tonight.”

The last conversation Marco heard before drifting off into sleep was the trio of boys squabbling about sleeping positions and fixing Eren’s prosthesis.

\---

Bright sunlight stirred Marco from his peaceful slumber. A quick stretch popped his joints in all the right ways, causing him to flip over and look at the other bed. Eren and Jean’s shared bed was completely full with three boys. The three boys, the true occupants of the room, rested in each other’s arms. Armin laid in the center of an Eren Jean sandwich. Mild jealousy aside, Marco felt refreshed and better. His mood soured as his thoughts became active and he began replaying the previous night’s events.

He got out of bed and strolled to the laundry basket. It took some digging but he found his drenched pants. Confirming his prediction, Marco found his phone in the pocket and winced at the amount of missed calls and messages he had. As he perused it for the distraught messages from Mina, confused texts from his friends, and even another thank you from Franz, he found one message that truly made his blood run cold. It was from his brother.

**Mom heard about the break up. We’re driving to go see you today.**

The timestamp confirmed the message was several hours old, meaning his mom would be arriving within the hour.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…” Marco began to mumble, walking around in a circle panicking.

“What’s the matter?” a tired voice asked from the shared bed.

Marco peered over his shoulder to see Armin rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “My family is coming to see me about the break up.”

Not meaning much to Armin, he only yawned once more. “Is that bad?”

“Yes. My mom is very religious and really dislikes homosexuality. She was over the moon when I got engaged to Mina,” Marco explained, taking a seat on Armin’s bed. “She’s going to kill me.”

Armin pondered the implications, not moving from his position on the bed. “Well, it's your life so make the choices that make you happier, as hard as that may be. You tried but it only made you miserable and those around you miserable by extension.”

“I know, but it's not that easy. It’s my mom, it's my _family_ ,” Marco ran a hand through his hair.

“But it’s your life,” Armin countered.

Marco nodded as he glanced at the time. At least he had some time to mentally prepare himself, plus he needed a shower. He wanted to wash last night away.

“I still have thirty minutes until 2pm so I got some time. But I’m going to need to get fresh clothes from upstairs. Tell those two thank you for everything.”

“2pm?! Shit, I need to get these two up. Eren’s doctor is coming to fix his prosthesis around then. Get going, if these two wake up you’re never going to leave.”

Giggling a bit at the truth in the statement, Marco grabbed what he needed from his soaked clothes before leaving and heading to his room in nothing but his boxers. Thankfully not as many people seemed to be running around at this time. Luck continued to be on his side as Franz was nowhere to be found, hinting that he might’ve already left.

Using what little time he had to his advantage, Marco took his time in washing away the grime of the previous night, and allowed himself the time to freshen up. He was going to need it in confronting his greatest fear.

\---

On the annointed hour, Marco’s phone vibrated. A tiny peek alerted him that it was indeed his mother calling. Rather than answer though, he took the cowardly route and opted to just go down the stairs and meet his family in the parking lot. He took each step with pace of molasses, not trying to speed up the endeavor at all. The closer he got to the first floor, the closer his stomach came to his throat.

Nerves for dates he was used to. Butterflies gliding around his stomach seemed paltry compared to the adrenaline spiking through the synapses of his brain and body. Goosebumps already covered his skin, and despite not drinking the night before, he really felt the need to empty his stomach. Unable to postpone this death sentence any further, Marco entered the lobby.

To his surprise, he found his brother waiting by the door.

“Mick?” he called out.

“Hey, bro. Nana wants lunch so we’re going out,” Mick replied. Marco quickly caught up with his brother. Mick held the door open for his older brother.

“Am I dead?” Marco wondered, half joking.

“Probably. Mom was silent for most of the ride. Nana sat in the front so mom didn’t vent to her. Bless Nana’s courage,” Mick smirked.

“Why is grandma here?” Marco thought.

“She insisted.”

Marco only replied with a grunt, preparing mentally for the task at hand. He found his mom’s minivan still running in the parking lot. His brother was kind enough to open the door for him into the back seat.

“Hi, mom,” Marco greeted.

“Hi, honey,” she acknowledged but didn’t face him. “Where’s a good place to eat around here? None of that greasy college kid food.”

“That cafe we ate at when I first moved in now serves food,” Marco suggested, keeping his eyes out the window. “Do you remember how to get there.”

“Yes, honey,” his mom spoke as she began driving the short distance from the dorm to the cafe.

While she focused on the road, Marco’s grandma turned around in her seat. Her wrinkled face offered a warm smile for him. “Mio sole.”

“Hi, Nana,” Marco smiled back, putting some of his fears to rest. It also killed him on the inside since it might one of the last times she would do that for him. She was the only member of the family who didn’t know about Jean and Marco’s tryst in middle school.

The remainder of the car ride was in silence, except that didn’t stop Marco and Mick from exchanging nervous glanes at one another. Arriving at the cafe also seemed as normal as it could’ve been with Marco placing his order and his family taking their time to learn the menu. The welcoming disposition though began to fade once they all sat a four person table. Marco’s mom sat across from him, and his brother on his left. Nana took her seat on his right, still smiling.

“They need chairs that move back and forth here,” Nana broke the silence, her complaint only meant in jest.

“That’s not how restaurants work, Nana,” Marco chuckled.

“I know, but they should. Keep that in mind, mio sole,” Nana advised.

“I will, Nana. Now what brings you all into town? Thanksgiving is next week,” Marco feigned ignorance. A terrible choice.

“Honey, you know why,” Marco’s mom shook her head. “You’re still shaking in your boots.”

“I… Yes, I broke up with Mina,” Marco stated with a heavy heart, but it felt like a weight was slowly lifting.

He reached into his pocket and felt the ring. His fingers traced the smooth gold, brushing against the rough cut of the diamond. With a sigh, he pulled the ring out and laid it on the table in front of his mom. Her blank expression cracked as her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Ah, you already talked then,” she observed.

“Yes, it was mutual. I want you to have it back since it is yours,” Marco pushed it to his mother. She placed a hand over his, resting it for a moment until she decided to pick up her ring. She dropped it without a thought into her purse.

“Perhaps your brother will be able to make better use of it than you,” she quipped, dropping Marco’s hopes like a rock. Only Marco noticed his brother gulping at the insinuation. “I heard from Hannah what happened. Poor girl.”

“Mom-”

“Don’t interrupt me, Marco,” she quickly interjected. “You ended a perfectly good relationship over stupid fears.”

“No, Hannah started it and destroyed my friend group,” Marco scoffed, catching the attention of his family. His mother raised an eyebrow, the closest thing for a sign to continue. “She cheated on Franz with two different people, and lied to cover herself. I can’t begin to describe the amount of people this hurt, including Mina, Franz, Thomas, and I.”

“Always knew she was bad,” Mick crossed his arms. An evil eye from his mother shut his mouth just as fast.

“What did that have to do with your relationship?”

Marco took another deep breath as he thought about how to explain it to his mom. “It forced me to confront something I knew all along. I like Mina, but only as friends. The feeling was mutual.”

“Don’t lie to me, Marco. She wouldn’t have accepted your proposal if it was only friendship. Girls know this. Why did you end it?” His mom pressed him again, forcing him to come out and say it.

“You know why, mom,” Marco gave in. His brother became tight lipped as his Nana watched in silence. “I like boys. I tried so hard but I can’t run from it any more, mom.”

His mother shook her head as the food arrived. Once the waiter determined who was eating what, she finally looked at him again. “I thought this issue was buried a long time ago. I was hoping Jinae would fix you, but I was wrong. Perhaps you should transfer to Jinae University. It has a fine education-”

“No, mom. I’m staying here with my friends,” Marco shot the idea down, astonishing his brother and himself. “I’m not restarting, at a more expensive school, for something I don’t care about. I’m being honest with myself and I want to remain here.”

“And by your friends do you mean that Kirschtein kid? You know he’s a bad influence on you, right? I thought that was also settled when we left.”

“No he’s not! And it's not just him. I’ve made plenty of friends here that I’m not going to let go. Franz and Mina are both still here and I care about them still.”

His mother thought some more as she took a bite of her food. “Maybe you and Mina could still work out.”

Marco’s shoulders sunk as Mick choked on his food.

“Mom, we are not dating any more. I’m not dating girls anymore. Why can’t you accept that?”

“Because no son of mine is like that!” She snapped back.

Mick excused himself from the table in the middle of his coughing fit, while their grandma shifted her gaze between the two. “Mom, you’ve had over five years to realize it was a possibility. I’m sorry, but I’m not changing. I’m not going to cause myself or anyone else I’m with that kind of pain again.”

“You’re not coming home for Thanksgiving then, you know that, right?” She warned as she continued eating her salad. “Unless you stop saying such nonsense.”

“Then I’ll go home when I’m welcomed there,” Marco sighed, his heart dropping at that statement. His mom’s eyes widened when he called out her threat.

“Marco, you’re always welcomed at home,” his Nana chimed in, surprising Marco and his mom. “Despite what your mom says, we love you regardless and we want you to find your own happiness. If that didn’t make you happy, then don’t do it.”

“Mama-” Marco’s mother began but was quickly shushed by her mom. 

“Maria, you must love your son. I know you do. Don’t burden him with your dreams for he has a life and dreams of his own to achieve.”

“Yes, mama,” Marco’s mom nodded, leaving the subject there.

Mick returned to find the table in silence, much to his surprise. He joined in the silence, only smiling when he discovered how tasty the food was. After an only slightly awkward meal, Marco waved goodbye to his family. He hugged his Nana and mother goodbye, and ruffled Mick’s hair.

“Hey, stop that,” Mick growled.

“And stop breaking boys’ hearts,” Marco whispered in his ear.

“Speaking of which. Get Jean now. You have no excuse,” Mick tried to persuade him.

“Yeah I do. The fact he’s in a happy relationship. I’m not being a homewrecker so you can fulfill your wet dreams.”

“Ew, don’t say it like that,” Mick stuck his tongue out in disgust.

“Now go with mom.” I’m going to remain here and get an application. I might need a part time job if she backs out paying for my college.”

“Good luck, bro,” Mick gave him a thumbs up, turning to leave and prepare for the long drive home.

Marco stared as the minivan took off, not noticing someone sneaking up on him.

“Oh thank God she’s gone. We all can get food now,”Jean celebrated, startling Marco.

“What the heck?! Jean? Who's we?” Marco jumped forward.

Jean shrugged and gestured over his shoulder. Marco looked back and found Eren, Armin, and his father sitting on a bench. His dad was measuring Eren’s stump as they watched what happened.

“Hey, son,” his dad nonchalantly waved as he wrote something down on scratch paper.

“Dad?!” Marco straightened up, panic rushing through his veins once more. “D-did you hear that?”

“Some of it. Your brother is an idiot if he keeps dating boy’s under your mom’s roof,” he smiled.

“And I…”

“Son, I knew you couldn’t change if that was the case. I was more shocked when you told me you were engaged to Mina. Poor girl, I suppose. Us Bodt men are terrible with women.”

Marco let his shoulders fall as his dad seemed incredibly casual about the whole situation. “Why are you even here?”

“Eren’s prosthesis broke. It's my job, even on weekends.”

“It was the only card we had, but seriously, why wouldn’t we call him?” Jean joked.

Still stunned by his father’s appearance, Marco let himself slowly sit down on the sidewalk as he continued to process this change in events.

“The boys told me everything. Sounded like a fun night,” his father commented. “Now, Eren, don’t wear your foot because it might fall apart at any moment. Continue to use something else for support. Wheelchair, crutches, Jean, I don’t care which. I’ll have something ready for you by Tuesday.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren nodded, his face showing some displeasure.

“Oh, and Marco? I don’t care who or what you want to be in a relationship with. Just make yourself happy and those around you will be happy,” his dad believed. “Trying to force something will only result in more pain down the road. Your mother and I are a perfect example of that.”

“Thanks, dad,” Marco absorbed that information, but barely retained it. His mind was too fried to retain much at this point.

“Oh, and I know it's short notice, but Mr. Kirschtein and Mr. Jaeger invited us to join them for Thanksgiving next week if you want to come. I understand if going back to your mom’s might be a little out of the question.”

“Really?!” Jean’s eyes brightened. “Do that! Please do that. Dad and Mr. Jaeger are so boring.”

“Very true,” Eren groaned. “Join us!”

Marco only had to think for a moment before a tiny smile came to his face. “I think I’d like that very much.”

\---

“Now I know it seems pretty obvious, but please don’t mention alcohol during the dinner. Both James and Grisha are still sensitive about everything. Frankly, I’m happy they’re clean enough to have their boys over for the holidays,” Marco’s dad forewarned his son as their small four door car parked on the street. “I’ll bring your cookies in too. It’ll be nice to taste your baking once again.”

“Okay, dad,” Marco said.

The entire trip back to Trost had been nostalgic yet saddening for Marco. Driving through their old neighborhood and back to Jean’s house seemed almost poetic. Nothing had changed since they left Trost, both physically and symbolically. Marco was still the same nervous freckled kid visiting his best friend’s house. He still harbored the same feelings as last time, but somehow he managed to find a middle ground with not only Jean but those around him.

He finally found some sort of nirvana for the storm that had been brewing inside him for years.

Both him and his father barely made it up the driveway when they found the door opening, and Jean there to greet them.

“Hey, welcome to my dad’s humble abode,” Jean gestured inside.

“Thank you, Jean,” his father replied.

“What he said,” Marco pointed at his dad.

Inside the house nothing had moved since the day Marco left all those years ago. The dining room table was still to close to the kitchen, the same creaky hardwood floor at the entrance, and even the same terrible picture of little Jean near the entryway. Seeing Jean with pure brown hair seemed like an odd sight to Marco now.

“Dad, I’m taking Marco upstairs with the others!” Jean called to the kitchen.

“Alright, food should be ready in 30 minutes,” a nostalgic voice called back.

Jean lead the way to his room, not that Marco needed any guidance. Once inside the room he found Eren and Armin on Jean’s bed playing gameboys from middle school. Mikasa sat on Jean’s old beanbag with Sasha at rest on her lap. It still blew Marco’s mind when he realized the girls were more than roommates now.

“Hey, Marco,” Eren waved, but his attention focused on the game at hand. The bright cable that linked their gameboys told Marco all he needed to know about the games that being played. “Damn it, Armin. It's been like ten years since we battled and you still kick my ass at Pokemon.”

“Brute force is no substitution for strategy, Eren,” Armin chided his friend. “Best 2 out of 3?”

“You’re on!”

Jean and Marco laughed at Eren’s competitive streak. Some things never changed, especially in Trost.

“Oh and a heads up, my old landlord and his husband are here. As well as Dr. Zoe,” Jean informed Marco.

“Dr. Zoe?!” Marco’s face dropped, earning the attention of the others in the room. “Why is she… he… they here?”

“Old doctor friend of our dads,” Eren explained. “Dr. Zoe already promised not to discuss grades so you’re fine for now. That’s a bridge for us to cross another day. Good news is my old landlord looks like Captain America. He’s even missing an arm! Cool guy.”

“Weird reason for being cool, but whatever you say,” Marco shrugged.

“He’s the reason I had housing after I ran away from here. I owe Mr. Smith a lot. We also owe Mr. Ackerman thanks for helping us get through day to day shit in that crappy apartment,” Jean recalled, blushing a bit. Eren didn’t look over but he also turned rather crimson at the thought. “Strange times.”

“Indeed,” Eren concurred. “Damn it, Armin quit using hydro pump.”

“Quit putting Charizard against Blastoise,” Armin retorted.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. I finally found the fucker in an old box,” Jean grabbed Marco’s shoulders excitedly. He shook him with joy.

Marco was oblivious to source of Jean’s joy though. “What did you find?”

“ _Her_ ,” Jean clarified absolutely nothing. He shuffled over to his closet and opened the door, digging into a suitcase. Marco couldn’t see what he grabbed until he turned around. In his arms clung Isabella the Ivysaur.

“Izzy!” Marco almost cried as he closed the gap between him and Jean. The others stopped what they were doing to see the source of Marco’s elation. “Oh my God, you kept her!”

“Well duh. I might’ve lied when I said I only had a couch to rely on when I broke down after you left. I clung onto her, quite a bit. I kept her sufficiently watered for like three years.”

“That plushie belonged to Marco?” Eren questioned. “I always wondered why you had an Ivysaur plushie when Squirtle was always your favorite.”

“I gave it to Jean for safekeeping whenever he got down,” Marco snuggled his old stuffed animal.

“She did her job, and I think you need her more than ever now,” Jean offered back.

Marco felt his heart jump for joy then drop. If Jean was giving this back, did that mean he was planning on dumping Marco now? He didn’t need him anymore? “Thanks, Jean.”

“And while Isabella can help when we’re not around, please come to any of your friends for help. Seriously Connie, Reiner, Mikasa, Sasha, Annie, and Bertholdt will welcome you with open arms,” Jean crossed his arms. Marco felt relief swell back in him but he noticed a few names were missing.

“What about you three?” Marco pointed back.

“We three go without saying,” Armin smiled as he set the gameboy down. “Another win for me, Eren.”

“Damn you, ‘Min,” Eren tossed his gameboy onto a pillow. “If anything ever goes wrong, and you need help. We’ll help any way we can. You’re our best friend, Marco.”

“And if shit really hits the fan, we’ll do our best to help fix you,” Jean gave him a reassuring grin.

With his emotions getting the best of him, Marco felt tears begin to form on the edges of his eyes. He embraced Jean as his tears of relief and happiness streamed down his face. While he thought he lost all his friends, his fiance, and his family because of his mistakes, he found the ones that stood by him. Despite wanting to feel more for them, and wanting more from them, he found he was content where he was for the time being.

There were still many things wrong with his life. Between his old friends group fracturing, his college major driving him insane, and his relationship with his mom souring, Marco knew there were many things still imperfect with his life. But with his close friends around him, facing them when the time came would be much easier. Things may not have been how he wanted them, but he was where he needed to be.

“Thanks guys. I feel at home again,” Marco beamed through the tears. He wiped them off on Jean’s shoulder as he clutched Isabella to his chest with dear life.

And in due time, Marco would learn his feelings of love weren’t unrequited towards his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlike the first part that took three days, this took three months and change. I've been wanting to get this out for a while so I hope it met people's expectations. The next parts will not take almost a year to write, I swear! And if you couldn't guess this story is going in the EJM direction. Thank you for those who've been patient. And like the last few things I've posted, this is the longest thing I've written for one chapter on this site. Don't expect future parts to be this damn long haha
> 
> As always kudos, comments, critiques, likes, and reblogs are appreciated. It took a lot of time to put this together so feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed. I seriously read them and tags. They greatly encourage authors.
> 
> Feel free to find me on [tumblr](http://firegrilled.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And yes Michael 'Mick' Bodt was inspired by Michael Bodt from All the Stars in Texas, although I can't guarantee this was how SouthSpinner intended him to be if he were younger than Marco :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is officially the longest thing I've ever written for one posting, and damn that was a pain to edit. Mad respect for those artists that can write stuff this long on a consistent basis.
> 
> Anyways, the idea for this came from a combination of music, some youtube videos, and the timing of some art postings from Viella over on tumblr. The stars aligned for this story to get stuck in my head and I _had_ to get it out. The whole amputee!Eren au is her creation and I'm so in love with it, it hurts. While a lot of the scenarios are some of my creation, a whole bunch were snippets from her art or from headcannon jamming the last few days. Special mention to a-fragile-surveyors-wings for the whole communicating on the desk idea. As for what i borrowed from Viella, its pretty much ripped word for word or slightly changed so I cannot stress it enough, check out her art. Its fan-fucking-tastic.
> 
> This was great to write and I'm proud I got this out in three days. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing these two dorks. Erejean was not something I thought I'd write for but life is full of surprises and no regrets.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, and feedback is greatly appreciated. Every bit of it helps me continue to improve myself! Feel free to find me on tumblr underneath the same name if you wanna shoot me a message or anything.
> 
> Maybe I'll add more if you all want to see what the future has in store if you guys wanna see more from their past. I'm sure I could find ways to make things happen. But I leave that to you all.
> 
> And again, thanks Viella for the au. Check out her art blog, its great. Seriously go check it out. Now.


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